Half Moon Street Page #4

Yeah.

''Stand very still,'' they say.

They want me to be a pillow...

or a table...

or a pet rabbit.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

You just can't imagine all

the things they want me to do.

Oh, yes, I can.

Another perfect score.

Ill meet you in the restaurant.

All right. Are you going

to stay for lunch, Will?

No. I think Ill leave

you two young people alone.

Is she OK, Sam?

You mean, can I trust her?

Of course not.

Never trust a woman.

Sam. Smoking is stupid.

Why do you do it?

My father smoked all his life,

and he died in his sleep...

at the age of 83.

What do you do

if your dates smoke?

I charge them double.

What sort of people

are they, anyway?

Rich people. What do you care?

No, Im interested.

You weirdo. What's your sign?

Virgo.

Me, too.

We're incompatible.

Seriously, though...

why do you do it?

Don't you think it's rather...

perverse?

Its extremely perverse.

Look who's talking.

You met me through

the Jasmine Agency.

Well, that's different.

Why is that different?

What are you getting

so moralistic about...

all of a sudden?

Don't put walls around me, Sam.

China was full of walls.

Im sick to death of them.

Id think if anyone

could understand...

what I was doing,

it would be you.

Well, I think you're doing

damage to yourself.

Why is it damaging to me

and not to you?

I provide a service, you use it.

Im not making a life out of it.

Of course you're not.

You're much too busy.

You're much too important.

Escort agencies were made

for people like you, Sam.

Quickies. No hassles.

No emotional wear and tear.

The Chinese have concubines.

Lord Bulbeck has me.

Gonbey. Its Chinese for cheers.

Who said, ''Cigarette me''?

Jack Lemmon in ''Front Page.''

Who wrote ''They Drive By Night?''

A. I. Bezzerides.

He also wrote ''Kiss Me Deadly.''

You're really good.

Karim, Ive got to go.

Ive got to get home.

God, it's great to have

a shower that works.

Hand me a towel, will you?

Id give anything for a place

in Central London.

Halfway between me

and the Institute?

No. Halfway between

your world and mine.

I thought you were

looking for a place.

Well, I am.

But even if you have the money,

it's just not that easy.

Ive been looking for weeks.

I have the perfect place.

You do?

Here.

Here?

Yes. Im giving it up.

Ive just taken

a house in the Boltons.

It has an office.

Im sure the landlord

has somebody lined up.

He's a friend of mine.

He needs someone reliable

like you--an academic.

When he hears that

you're a Ph.D., he will flip.

You can afford it.

Its not that much.

And Ill let you

keep the furniture.

Karim, why are you

being so nice to me?

You don't really like

the sex all that much.

You don't want

a serious relationship.

So why this?

Why me?

Come on, Lauren.

Don't be like all those

complicated American girls.

I like you. You're a friend.

In my country,

friendship is everything.

I left the rent money

in the room, Lindsay.

Id take you where

you want to go...

but this sneaky, son-of-a-b*tch

engine just won't start.

Take care, OK?

Thanks.

-Did you double-check?

-Yes, sir.

How long will you want

the safe house for?

Well, I want everyone

to stay there...

until we've worked out a draft

treaty to show the Israelis.

And you really believe

you can get...

a positive israeli response?

Probably not, but the Arabs

have promised to stick around...

till they get

an israeli reaction.

I mean, they'll meet

there and then...

with anyone that the Israelis

send to negotiate.

-Face to face?

-Hello.

Who's calling, please?

Oh, Lauren Slaughter.

-Tell her Im out.

-Im sorry. Lord Bulbeck is out.

Would you care

to leave a message?

No.

Yes?

How's my star performer?

Twilley. What a surprise.

Ever since that Arab reception,

you've been in real demand.

Really? You've made my day.

There's a nice English boy--

called 3 times today.

I told him you'd be

at the Ritz this afternoon.

What if I don't go?

You'll ruin my reputation...

and yours.

What have you got

that makes you so popular?

Something you don't have--

brains.

It doesn't take brains

to get f***ed.

Proportion of real estate...

and fast return

consumer investment...

has been such as to make

almost no ripple...

in Western financial capitals.

But in my view,

the West could absorb...

at least twice the current

rate of petrodollars...

without any serious danger.

And finally, there's the myth

so widely held over here...

that petrodollars

have failed to reach...

the underdeveloped countries

of the Third World.

In this instance, the failure

is one of communication...

not of intention.

Uninformed public opinion,

a biased media...

and the atavistic fears

of a Western culture...

that regards all Arabs

as potential enemies...

have done the rest.

So what are these

friends of yours like?

Very ''Tattler''

and ''Country Life.''

A bit hard to take sometimes,

but I hope you'll like them.

-Please, allow me.

-No, I got it. Thank you.

Sir, Ill take that.

-Rex!

-Maura.

This must be the lovely Julia.

Im not. Does that mean

I have to go home?

Id like to introduce

Dr. Slaughter.

Hi. You can call me Lauren.

Id much rather call you

Dr. Slaughter...

if you don't mind.

Slaughter is

a most unusual name.

It sounds like something

in Trollope.

I always like a little trollop

in bed before l go to sleep.

-Who said that?

-l think it was old Harold.

Hello. Im Lauren Slaughter.

How do you do?

Americans wear the most

extraordinary things...

on their feet, don't they?

Felipe will show you

to your room.

I can hardly wait.

Yes, I thought your dress

looked absolutely lovely.

Really beautiful.

This is Dr. Slaughter.

She seems to be totally

preoccupied with our cat.

She's a friend of Rex.

Dr. Slaughter, this is Sidney

and Alan Platts-Williams.

How do you do?

Can't think what's keeping him.

If he's much longer,

Felipe will have a tantrum...

and the lamb will be ruined.

Dr. Slaughter is new to London.

And where does she live?

Dr. Slaughter lives

in Half Moon Street.

Isnt it simply crawling

with Arabs and call girls?

Yes. Its also very close

to the Middle Eastern Institute.

I have a fellowship there.

That's the organization that's

financed by all those wog banks.

Hugh Shuttle's boy--

what's his name?

Julian. Doesn't he work there?

The one who couldn't

get into the F.O.?

I know Julian.

What's everyone

doing this summer?

Bumps has got his boat

in Saint-Tropez.

Such a bore, those people.

He can't control

his crew at all.

He goes where they want.

That sounds like him now.

And then there's lbiza,

but Im always saying...

to George we're

getting far too old.

Those luscious,

topless teenagers...

make me feel such a frump.

Have you been to lbiza?

Sorry Im late, everyone.

I decided to make a speech.

-Hello, Rex.

-Hello, sir.

Sam, Id like to

introduce Dr. Slaughter.

Very pleased to meet you,

my dear.

-Oh, the famous Lord Bulbeck.

-Shall we go in?

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