Hamlet Page #23

-I beseech you.

Being thus benetted round

with villainies--

Ere I could make a prologue to my brains...

...they had begun the play.

--I sat me down,

devised a new commission, wrote it fair.

Ha, I once did hold it, as our statists do...

...a baseness to write fair and labored much

how to forget that learning.

But, sir, now, it did me yeoman's service.

-Wilt thou know th' effect of what I wrote?

-Ah, good.

An earnest conjuration from the king...

...as England was his faithful tributary...

...as love between them

like the palm might flourish...

...as peace should still

her wheaten garland wear...

...and stand a comma

'tween their amities...

...and many such like as-es

of great charge...

...that on the view

and know of these contents...

...without debatement further

more or less...

...he should those bearers

put to sudden death.

-Not shriving-time allowed.

-How was this sealed?

Why, even in that was heaven ordinant.

I had my father's signet in my purse...

...which was the model

of that Danish seal.

Folded the writ up

in the form of th' other...

...subscribed it, gave 't th' impression,

placed it safely...

...the changeling never known, ha.

Now, the next day was our sea-fight.

What to this was sequent

though know'st already.

So...

...Guildenstern and Rosencrantz go to 't.

Why, man, they did make love

to this employment.

They are not near my conscience.

Their defeat

does by their own insinuation grow.

'Tis dangerous

when the baser nature comes...

...between the pass and fell incensed points

of mighty opposites.

Why, what a king is this.

Does it not, think'st thee,

stand me now upon--

He that hath killed my king

and whored my mother...

...popped in between th' election

and my hopes...

...thrown out his angle for my proper life,

and with such coz'nage.

--is 't not perfect conscience

to quit him with this arm?

And is 't not to be damned...

...to let this canker of our nature come

in further evil?

lt must be shortly known to him

from England...

...what is the issue of the business there.

It will be short.

The interim's mine...

...and a man's life...

...no more than to say "one."

But I am very sorry, good Horatio,

that to Laertes I forgot myself.

For by the image of my cause,

I see the portraiture of his.

Ill court his favors.

[SIGHS]

But sure, the bravery of his grief

did put me into a tow'ring passion.

Peace, who comes here?

Your lordship is right welcome back

to Denmark.

I humbly thank you, sir.

HAMLET:
Dost know this water-fly?

HORATIO:
No, my lord.

Thy state is the more gracious,

for 'tis a vice to know him.

He hath much land, and fertile.

Let a beast be lord of beasts,

and his crib shall stand at the king's mess.

'Tis a chuff, but, as I say,

spacious in the possession of dirt.

OSRlC:

Sweet lord...

...if your friendship were at leisure, I should

impart a thing to you from His Majesty.

I will receive it, sir,

with all diligence of spirit.

Uh, put your bonnet to its right use.

'Tis for the head.

I thank your lordship, but 'tis very hot.

No, 'tis very cold. The wind is northerly.

It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.

But yet methinks it is very sultry

and hot for my complexion.

Ha, exceedingly, my lord.

It is very sultry, as 'twere--

I cannot tell how, ha-ha.

But, my lord, His Majesty bade me

signify to you...

...that he hath laid a great wager

on your head.

OSRIC:
Sir, this is the matter.

-I beseech you, remember.

Nay, good my lord,

for mine ease, in good faith.

Sir, here is newly come to court Laertes.

Believe me, an absolute gentleman...

...full of most excellent differences,

of very soft society and great showing.

Indeed, to speak feelingly of him,

he is the card or calendar of gentry.

For you shall find in him the continent

of what part a gentleman would see.

Sir, his definement

suffers no perdition in you.

HAMLET:
Though I know

to divide him inventorially...

...would dizzy th' arithmetic of memory

and yaw neither in respect of his quick sail.

In the verity of extolment,

I take him to be a soul of great article...

...and his infusion of dearth and rareness,

as to make true diction of him...

...his semblable is his mirror...

...and who else would trace him,

his umbrage, nothing more.

Your lordship speaks

most infallibly of him.

The concernancy, sir?

Why do we wrap the gentleman...

-...in our more rawer breath?

-Sir?

Is 't not possible to understand

in another tongue?

You will to 't sire, really.

What imports the nomination

of this gentleman?

-Of Laertes?

-His purse is empty already.

All's golden words are spent.

-Of him, sir.

-I know you're not ignorant--

I would you did. Yet in faith if you did,

it would not much approve me. Well?

You are not ignorant

of what excellence Laertes is.

I dare not confess that,

lest I compare with him in excellence.

But to know a man well

were to know himself.

I mean, sir, for his weapon.

But in the imputation laid on him by them,

in his meed, he's unfellowed.

-What's his weapon?

-Rapier and dagger.

-That's two of his weapons. But well.

-Ha.

The king, sir, hath wagered

with him six Barbary horses...

-...against the which he has imponed--

-Imponed?

--as I take it, six French rapiers

and poniards...

...with their assigns,

as girdle, hanger, or so.

Three of the carriages, in faith,

are very dear to fancy...

...very responsive to the hilts...

...most delicate carriages,

and of very liberal conceit.

What call you the carriages?

I knew you must be edified

by the margin ere you had done.

The carriages, sir, are the hangers.

The phrase would be more germane

if we could carry cannon by our sides.

-I would it might be hangers till then.

-Ah, ha!

But on:
six Barbary horses

against six French swords...

...their assigns,

and three liberal-conceited...

-Carriages.

-...carriages.

That's the French bet against the Danish.

Why is this "imponed," as you call it?

The king, sir, hath laid, sir, that

in a dozen passes between you and him...

...he shall not exceed you three hits.

He hath laid on 12 for nine.

And it would come to immediate trial...

...if your lordship

would vouchsafe the answer.

How if I answer no?

I mean, my lord,

the opposition of your person in trial.

Sir, I will walk here in the hall.

If it please His Majesty,

'tis the breathing time of day with me.

Let the foils be brought.

The gentleman willing,

and the king hold his purpose...

... I will win for him and I can.

If not, I shall gain nothing but my shame

and the odd hits.

-Shall I redeliver you e'en so?

-To this effect, sir.

After what flourish your nature will.

I commend my duty to your lordship.

Yours, yours.

HAMLET:

Um....

He does well to commend it himself,

there are no tongues else for 's turn.

This lapwing runs away

with the shell on his head.

He did comply with his dug

before he sucked it.

Thus has he-- And many more of the same

bevy that I know the drossy age dotes on.

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