Hands Across the Table Page #7

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Yeah, that's just

where I met her, but-

When you called from Bermuda

the wires were crossed,

and I took it upon myself

to get them connected again.

I know her.

And I know this too-

I'll take you back again.

I'm afraid it's a little late.

Once I was

a very interesting young fellow

made-to-order for you.

I was the enemy of the ordinary.

But do you know

what's on my mind right now?

No.

I'm wondering where

I can get a job.

What can you do?

Early this morning

I bumped into the milkman,

and I says, says I,

"That man had better be moving,

or I'll take away his bottles and show him

how milk should really be sold."

No kidding. I don't care what it is.

I wanna sell something.

I'm in the subway now,

and I don't think you'd like me anymore.

Wouldn't I?

What do you suggest

doing about it?

Ask you to release me

from our engagement.

Why should I?

We entered this agreement

with our eyes open.

I know, and I know how I must look to you,

but it's better it happen now than later.

Well, that's

a small silver lining.

Oh, Ted, grow up!

I thought I was in love once

myself-with a policeman

on a horse in Central Park.

But I know I'm in love...

with a manicurist

in a barbershop.

How can you marry her?

How can you live

without money?

I'll earn it.

That's what I should've

been doing long ago.

Good heavens. You really

do mean it, don't you?

It's probably the only thing

I've ever meant in my life.

Won't last six months.

I'll take a chance on that.

You certainly will.

I hope you're very happy

on the Milky Way.

Can't do any more

than drown me.

Then all I can say is

good-bye, Ted.

Good-bye, and thanks.

Feel better?

Mm-hmm.

Some champagne?

No. I don't want any.

Strange.

In moments like these,

most people do.

You're playing havoc

with tradition.

Well, then,

go and wash your funny face.

And later on,

I may have a proposition

to make to you.

Something

I've been thinking about

quite a lot lately.

Well, what is it?

Mm-mm. Not now. Later.

I want to wait until

you're all calmed down.

All right.

You know,

my hair must look like

a busted bale of hay.

Oh!

Bye now.

Oh-Ah!

Nona, where's Regi?

Oh, hello, Ted.

She's upstairs.

She's not with Miss Snowden.

I don't know, then,

unless she's with Mr. Macklyn.

Macklyn?

Where's he?

Yes. 1502.

Why don't you

go up after her?

I'm practically there.

Oh, dear! He frightened me.

You know, he's a boyfriend

of a girlfriend of mine.

Yes.

Oh, dear.

You'll pardon me,

won't you?

Certainly.

Peter!

I'm sorry for busting in.

I knocked and nobody answered.

I'm in a hurry.

Won't you come in?

Oh, thanks.

That'll be all, Peter.

Uh, is she here?

She? Who?

Regi Allen.

The girl who came up

to give you a manicure.

Yes. Surely there

must be another manicurist

in the barbershop.

Oh, I don't want a manicure.

I want to get married.

Married?

Yes.

You don't mind if I

ask her to marry me

on your time, do you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

You must think I'm nuts.

My name is Theodore Drew.

Yes, I rather thought so.

Did she tell you

about me?

Yes.

Won't you sit down?

Yeah, thanks.

Everything was mixed up,

but it's straightened out now.

You don't mind if I use your rooms

as a bench in the park,

just to propose in?

We can go outside

for the kissing part.

- That's quite all right.

- I'm a little nervous.

You should be.

Maybe you need a drink.

Yeah, maybe I do.

Maybe we both

need a drink.

That's an idea.

Do you mind?

No, I'd be glad to.

I don't know of two people

who have a better right

to have a drink.

Think she'll

be glad to see me?

I doubt it.

She's through with you.

Through with me!

She can't be through with me.

You know what she's done?

She's wrecked my life.

She's got me thinking of

looking for a job.

Does she know that?

No, but she's

gonna find out.

I'm afraid you're too late.

She thinks you want to be a gigolo.

A gigolo!

Is that what she thinks of me?

Fine opinion she's got of me.

Uh, how about my drink?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Women are nuts anyway.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

That's enough.

When a man's

in love with a woman,

he shouldn't keep it a secret.

A secret? I've done

everything but broadcast it.

Do you want some fizz?

No, thanks.

Everybody in the hotel

knows it.

Except Regi.

Well, can I help it

if love's blind?

Women like to be

swept off their feet.

Well, that's what

I'm here for.

Well, then take my advice,

and don't do it with a feather duster.

Good luck.

Thanks.

- Oh! So I'm a gigolo, am I?

- What are you doing here?

What do you mean

by telling people

I don't wanna go to work?

You wouldn't take a job

if it was thrown in your lap.

Is that so!

Go back to your pineapple queen.

She's not my pineapple queen.

I gave her back to the Hawaiians.

What's the matter?

Find somebody with

more pineapples?

No. I found somebody

I shouldn't waste my time on.

But like an imbecile,

I fell in love with her.

Love? Ha-ha!

The only one you're

in love with is yourself!.

Is that so?

Yes, I fell in love!

I hope you eat so many

pineapples you get sick!

I never thought I'd

fall for the racket-

Shut up!

What do you think my apartment is,

Madison Square Garden?

Go someplace else and do your battling.

What do you mean by coming up

in this gentleman's apartment

and making all this noise?

All right. Let's go someplace

where we can argue

like gentlemen!

Let go of my wrist!

Ouch!

Come on!

Allen!

Allen, save me! Ow!

Sir, you can't possibly

stand all this.

It's all right, Peter.

Allen!

Oh, Allen, you're so right.

It is love that counts.

Good-bye.

See you soon.

Oh, but, sir, please-

Uh-

I, uh, forgot my hat.

Good-bye, Mr. Macklyn.

Thanks a lot.

But what are we doing here?

We're going to lunch. I know the place

where they have the swellest goulash.

We haven't time.

We have too many things to do.

We've got to get the license,

you've gotta see about your job

and we've gotta get married.

You don't expect me to get married

on an empty stomach, do ya?

Well, I'm not going all over town

looking for goulash.

Okay, we'll flip for it.

Heads, we get married,

and tails, we go to lunch.

You got a coin?

Yes, I think so.

If it stands on edge,

I'll look for a job.

You flip it.

Ohh! Stop the bus!

Ring the bell.

Oh! Stop the bus!

Stop the bus!

Well, what is it? What is it?

W- Well, what is it?

Oh.

Well, I guess

we look for a job.

Hey, lay off

of that, will ya?

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