Happy-Go-Lucky Page #5

Where is the passion? Where is the revenge?|Where is the blood?

This is flamenco.

That clapping, so polite.|It's like the end of the opera.

"Excuse me, how many sugar|you want in your tea?"

This woman been spending|every Wednesday afternoon for a year

with your husband, in a hotel in Paddington.

This guy been having an affair|for five years with your best friend.

Your boyfriend, what you gave your love,|your spirit, for five years

betrays you with a Swedish b*tch,|what is 22 years old.

You want to kill him.|You want to cut off his balls.

He's such a bastard! I hate him!

Are you all right?

Didn't bargain for that. That was something else.

I know, but all credit to her.

She picked herself up. She came straight back.

As if nothing had happened.|Like a little fireball, wasn't she?

- Not a grain of sentimentality.|- No, wipe the tears.

Bless her. I wanted to give her a hug.

I don't think she'd appreciate that.

No! "This is my space, get off me!"

Leaves a nasty taste, though,|exploding her heart all over the floor.

- Then it was "put that away".|- Stick that in a box.

- Get it out another time.|- Perhaps never.

- You'll be lucky.|- I know.

She must be going through some sh*t,|though, mustn't she?

- She's actually a good teacher.|- Oh, yeah, definitely.

She's going to burn herself out.

I believed her when she said|she'd cut off his balls, though. Didn't you?

I don't expect the guys will be back|next week, then?

No! Snip, snip.

- How's your love life?|- How is my love life?

- Nothing doing?|- Not a sausage.

- Are you OK with that?|- Oh, yeah.

- Good for you.|- Cheers.

Cheers.

- How's your Beth?|- Darren's dumped her.

Oh, no.

Just before her 18th birthday. "Thanks, Darren."

- Why do men always do that, eh?|- I know.

Christmas, Valentine's Day.|Boom! They're gone.

- I hope he won't turn up to the party.|- Name off the list.

I'm looking at her and thinking,|"Don't call him. Don't call him."

- "Don't do it, Beth. Don't do it."|- You can't say anything, though.

- You've got to let them get on with it.|- You can't help being protective.

Of course, she's got her A levels coming up.

Fingers crossed, she's going to Manchester.

- Fantastic. What she want to do there?|- Sociology.

- Lovely.|- I hope she'll take a gap year. Travel.

That's important, see the world.

- I think so. Cos I never got the chance.|- Nor me.

- You made up for it later, though.|- Didn't I just?

- Where were you?|- All over the place.

Taught in this school in Thailand, six months.|Me and Zoe.

Started off in Australia.|Zoe's got relations in Melbourne and Sydney.

Bali, Java, Malaysia, Vietnam - beautiful.|Then Thailand.

Fabulous.

Amazing. Gorgeous kids.|Loved learning. 60 in a class.

- 60?|- Oh, yeah.

Fantastic. Great challenge.

- And for them.|- Especially for them.

Yeah.

- Do you want another one?|- I'd love to but I'm driving, aren't I?

Oh, of course you are.|Got to be good. Work tomorrow.

Poppy, this is your third driving lesson.

- I'm getting quite good, aren't I?|- No, you're not good.

You're smug. You're too easily distracted.

You're distracted by squirrels,|by dogs, by children in the park,

by old ladies in surgical stockings,|by half-naked men in their gardens.

- Oh, well, he was quite fit, wasn't he?|- No, he wasn't fit, he had a paunch.

- I didn't know you were checking it out.|- Keep your eyes focused on the road.

This car is a lethal weapon.|Pay attention or you'll kill somebody.

Keep to the left of the centre of the road.

Oh, come on, Scott. How often do you|see a squirrel sending a text like that?

- Left turn. Mirror, signal, Enrahah.|- Sending a little text.

Enrahah!

I can't believe you're a teacher,|that you're in charge of 40 children.

It took me by surprise, to be honest. It's 30.

You are arrogant, you are disruptive|and you celebrate chaos.

- I slipped through the net, didn't I?|- No, you are the net.

Believe you me, Poppy, you are the net.

OK, we're going to do the next left turn.|Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

- Enrahah. Keep with it, Poppy.|- Oooh. Don't like this corner.

Get away from the bend.|Get away from the bend.

Do you remember the pyramid?|Do you remember the shape of the pyramid?

- Enrahah.|- No.

Enrahah is the eye at the top of the pyramid.

I'm talking about the bottom of it.

Those at the bottom of the pyramid|are kept in total ignorance

of what those at the top of the pyramid|are achieving. Enrahah.

Where are you on the pyramid?

- I'm outside the pyramid, looking in.|- Of course you are.

Where are you? That is more to the point.|Where are you and your children?

- Where are we all, eh?|- The next left turn. Enrahah.

- Did you like school, Scott?|- I'm afraid it didn't agree with me.

Oh, that's a shame.

Let me tell you something|about the education system.

- Oh, go on, then.|- It produces left brain prisoners.

- Do you know what that means?|- I do.

Well, I'll tell you. Our brain has two sides.

The left brain and the right brain.|The left brain... Keep going, keep going.

The left brain is information, data. It's dead.

The right brain is individuality.|It's where the soul lies.

And the education system, it works like this -|"I will give you a world view.

And if you repeat my world view,|if you reconfirm my world view,

you will pass your exams and you will|go higher and higher and higher

and you will become a policeman, a magistrate,

a lawyer, a general, a politician,|and you will be happy and you will succeed.

But if you think for yourself,

if you think outside of the box,|then you will be unhappy and you will fail."

That's how the education system works.|Left turn. Enrahah. Signal. Enrahah.

Were you bullied at school, Scott?

We're going to do the next left turn. Enrahah.

Kids, they can be cruel, can't they, eh?

Nick!

Nick, what's going on? Eh?

Are you all right, Charlie?

Yeah, I could see that. What's going on, eh?

Venga, venga!

Don't bounce.

Keep pounding.

Facing front.

Look in front of us.

It's not salsa. Keep straight.

Venga, mtalo.

Uno, dos, tres. Uno, dos, tres.

Face the front. Don't look at me.|Uno, dos, tres. Keep it pounding.

Uno, dos, tres. Uno, dos, tres.|Uno, dos, tres. Uno, dos, tres.

Bravo, everybody.

I have to tell you, I am slightly impressed.

Much better than last week.|Though of course this is not difficult.

And still could improve.

But...it will do.

For now.

Be quiet. Get on with it.

What are you writing about? All about you?

That's lovely, Savannah.

Good girl. Married with a prince, yeah?

There we are. You carry on|with your work, there's a good...

Yeah, you carry on. You draw a picture now.

Hold on. What's going on?|Can you stop that, please?

What is happening? Are you hurting Ayotunde?

Are you all right? He hurt you hard?

He hit you? Come here.|We do not hurt our friends.

You come and sit over here.|Get on with your work.

You were hurting Ayotunde for no reason.|That's not very nice.

That's not what we do to our friends.

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