Happy Valley Page #7

Season #1 Episode #1

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(a pause. He knows this’ll

go down badly)

Ten percent.

KEVIN:

Ten - ? But. No. Look. This -

ASHLEY:

We’re talking fifty grand, Kevin.

It’s enough to put the kiddy

through school, more or less,

that’s what y’wanted, isn’t it?

KEVIN:

I want half.

ASHLEY:

I can’t justify half, Kevin. I’m

the fella taking the risks here.

You’re not. Let’s be honest,

essentially, when the fun kicks in,

you’ll be doing sod all.

KEVIN:

I gave you information!

ASHLEY:

You did, but the reality is me and

the lads could turn the whole job

round without you. Now. Couldn’t

we? Eh? So in fact you’re lucky I’m

offering you anything at all.

KEVIN’s appalled.

KEVIN:

You - you can’t do that. I - I - I

could

ASHLEY:

What? What could you do? Tell the

police about my sand? What sand?

(KEVIN realises that the

endless bags of sand have

gone. He’s amazed. How

the hell did ASHLEY do

that?)

I don’t wanna fall out with you,

Kevin. I want you to put Melissa

through this nice school. It’s what

she deserves, it’s what you

deserve. Come on, I’m not even

expecting you to get your hands

dirty.

(MORE)

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE ONE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 35.

ASHLEY (CONT'D)

You’ll be fifty grand better off,

and you won’t even know the thing’s

happened.

KEVIN:

A hundred. A hundred grand. I want

Catriona to be able to go too when

the time comes.

ASHLEY takes his time. Is he going to get cross? Is he going

to slap KEVIN one for pushing his luck? No. Not ASHLEY. He’s

too clever.

ASHLEY:

Right. Fine. Hundred.

KEVIN’s unsettled. That was too readily agreed to, and this

is mad. And he’s also realising how slippery ASHLEY is.

KEVIN:

When - when - when’re you...?

ASHLEY:

The less you know, Kev.

(a moment)

Tomorrow, probably. Or Tuesday.

(KEVIN’s worried,

disturbed. He’d have

liked more time to get

used to the idea)

You’re a dark horse, you. Aren’t

you? Eh?

(for a second, there’s

something almost

resembling respect that

fleets across his face)

So. What’s their address? Where do

they live?

CUT TO:

27 EXT. NO.64, REGAL HOUSE, SOWERBY BRIDGE. DAY 4. 09.00 27

Monday morning. Scuzzy flats that stink of piss (we can tell

this just by looking at them). CATHERINE - once more kitted

out with all the gadgetry - is with another one of her PCs.

25-year-old SHAFIQ SHAH, who (like KIRSTEN) looks like he’s

in his teens, but in fact has seven years’ experience under

his belt. He always looks happy, like he’s just having the

greatest day ever. They head along an external corridor

towards a flat where the glass is bust in the door and some

rudimentary attempt to board the place up has been made.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE ONE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 36.

A group of three skulking hoodies with their underpants

hanging out of their jailing arses move along uninvited when

they see CATHERINE coming. It’s an effortless effect she has.

SHAFIQ:

(as they skulk off, SHAFIQ

winks at them)

Y’all right, lads!

CATHERINE gets her baton out and raps on the door with it. A

distant voice from within goes: “F*** off”. SHAFIQ reckons to

cock his ear.

SHAFIQ (CONT’D)

I think that was - “Come in”. Sarg.

In Swahili.

CATHERINE:

If I’d said that it’d be racist.

SHAFIQ:

(smiling, amused)

Nah...

CATHERINE tries the door. It’s secured by a very loose-

fitting Yale lock, and the door itself looks like it’s made

of damp balsa wood. CATHERINE puts her shoulder to it, and

gives it a good hard sharp nudge. It looks effortless and

practised, and the doors fall open first time.

CUT TO:

28

INT. NO.64, REGAL HOUSE, SOWERBY BRIDGE. CONTINUOUS. 28

DAY 4. 09.01.

CATHERINE and SHAFIQ come into the flat. It’s a sh*t-hole. It

looks like a rubbish tip, full of black bags, most of them

spilling their contents. Stuff everywhere - probably all at

floor level. Garbage everywhere. CATHERINE puts her baton

away and heads through to the next room. We go with her. On

the floor, under a grubby duvet, on a grubby mattress, a BOY

and a GIRL (both white) in their early twenties, both spaced

out and off their heads on something, so they both appear to

be not quite with us. Empty vodka bottles everywhere. The

only decent things in the room are a telly and a games

console.

BOY:

Oy. Oy. Where’s yer warrant?

CATHERINE:

I haven’t got one, I don’t need

one.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE ONE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 37.

SHAFIQ:

Somebody rang three nines and said

they’d heard screaming coming from

this flat.

GIRL:

Oh - it were me.

BOY:

It were her.

GIRL:

He smacked me on the head.

She does indeed appear to have a tiny contusion on her

forehead.

BOY:

It were an accident.

GIRL:

With the thing.

(she means the games

console)

BOY:

It were an accident.

GIRL:

It wor an accident.

CATHERINE’s just pulled some latex gloves on.

CATHERINE:

What’s your name? You. Lad. I’m

talking to you.

BOY:

Jason Tindall. You can call me

Tinner if y’want.

CATHERINE:

Right, well can you pull that

syringe out of your foot. For me.

Please.

We see what CATHERINE’s seen: he’s got a syringe sticking out

between the toes on one of his grubby feet where he’s been

injecting himself. TINNER groans.

CUT TO:

29 EXT. REGAL CLOSE, SOWERBY BRIDGE. DAY 4. 09.15 29

CATHERINE and SHAFIQ have arrested JASON TINDALL and walk to

get into their patrol car.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE ONE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 38.

CATHERINE:

Would you like to hear some jokes?

SHAFIQ:

If you’re confident I can handle

‘em.

CATHERINE:

Liam Hughes. Is threatening to

press charges against me for

assault.

SHAFIQ:

Assault by foam. Yep - that’s -

yeah. That’s good, that’s funny.

CATHERINE:

And. Steady on, brace yourself. The

Newsagent I borrowed the fire

extinguisher off. Has invoiced me.

Personally. For seventy-five quid.

To replace his fire extinguisher.

The one he didn’t even know he had.

SHAFIQ:

Nice! Nice one. I like them,

they’re both good.

CUT TO:

30 INT. NGA, KEVIN’S OFFICE. DAY 4. 14.45 30

KEVIN’s in his office. He’s in a permanent state of anxiety,

given what he’s set in motion. JUSTINE appears at the door.

JUSTINE:

Kevin. Hiya. Nevison wants to see

you.

KEVIN’s horrified. Does NEVISON know something? He hides his

terror as best he can.

KEVIN:

Now? What for?

JUSTINE:

(smile)

Dunno.

KEVIN gathers his mental resources and heads off.

CUT TO:

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE ONE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 39.

31 INT. NGA, NEVISON’S OFFICE. DAY 4. 14.46 31

NEVISON’s busy at his computer when KEVIN taps at his open

door.

NEVISON:

Kevin. Come in, sit down, shut

door.

He does.

KEVIN:

Is something wrong?

NEVISON:

No.

(beat)

Well. We’ll come onto that. The

good news is. I can’t review your

salary, not just at the minute, but

what I will do. And I really don’t

want this bandying about because I

genuinely can’t do it for

everyone... I’ll pay their school

fees. Both of ‘em.

KEVIN’s stunned.

KEVIN:

But... you said [no]

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