Happy Valley Page #2

Season #1 Episode #2

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Dries up.

CATHERINE:

What?

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 5.

CLARE keeps it low-key, light; she gives a shrug as she selfconsciously

admits

CLARE:

I worry about you. Getting yourself

all upset and obsessed with it all

over again.

CATHERINE:

That subhuman piece of rotting

excrement. Should be on the Sex

Offenders’ Register. And he isn’t.

I think that’s something worth

getting obsessed with and upset

about. Don’t you?

In some ways CLARE does: she hates this man for what he did

to her niece. But

CLARE:

You’re never going to be able to

approach this objectively, you’re

just going to make yourself ill

again.

That gives CATHERINE brief pause for thought. She dismisses

it

CATHERINE:

He’s on my patch. You think I’m

going to ignore it? Sooner or

later, unless someone marks his

card for him - big style - he’s

going to hurt someone else.

CLARE:

Is that what you’re going to do?

Mark his card for him?

CATHERINE:

It’s my job.

CLARE:

How? How y’gonna do it?

CATHERINE:

The less you know, Clare.

CLARE:

You see... that - saying something

like that - that just makes me even

more worried that you’re not...

Dries up.

CATHERINE:

Not what.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 6.

CLARE:

Not going to deal with it

rationally.

CATHERINE:

Rationally? I’ve got no intentions

of dealing with it rationally. I’m

amazed you think anybody’d expect

me to.

CLARE’s about to react again when she realises

CLARE:

You’re just winding me up.

CATHERINE:

My intention. Is to deal with it

effectively.

So now CLARE doesn’t know if she’s winding her up or if she

really means it.

CLARE:

Right, well you’ve heard what I’m

saying. You worry about me. Staying

on the...

(self-conscious, doesn’t

like saying it)

Wagon. I worry about you. Okay?

(adding as bluntly and

unsentimentally as she

can - )

You’re the only sister I’ve got.

CUT TO:

5

INT. NORLAND ROAD POLICE STATION, CATHERINE’S OFFICE. 5

DAY 5. 13.30.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 7.

CATHERINE’s busy at her computer when JOYCE sticks her head

round the door.

JOYCE:

Catherine.

CATHERINE:

Joyce.

JOYCE:

Mrs. Godley from Turnpike Street in

Elland rang on the desk line to say

“Them lads in that ice cream van

are at it again”.

CATHERINE:

(her eyes light up: she’s

thrilled)

Right now?

JOYCE:

Right now.

CATHERINE chucks her reading glasses down and dives out of

her office and through to the main office, shouting

CATHERINE:

Job on, boys and girls! I need

everybody.

CUT TO:

6 INT. NORLAND ROAD POLICE STATION, MAIN OFFICE. DAY 5. 6

13.31

KIRSTEN and another PC (plus a bloke in civvies) are all busy

at computers as CATHERINE (immediately continuous from above)

comes in and tells them

CATHERINE:

The ice-cream man cometh! Let’s go

go go and get him.

(to KIRSTEN; swift, fond

and motherly - )

And you make sure you’re tooled up

properly this time, lady.

(KIRSTEN and the other PC

are already grabbing

their utility belts, stab-

proof vests, helmets.

They head out, buzzing

just like CATHERINE.

CATHERINE’s on her radio

now, talking to her

shoulder - )

Four-five to nine-two-four-two.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 8.

CATHERINE pulls on her utility belt, her stab-proof vest, her

helmet, and heads out after the other two.

SHAFIQ:

Nine-two-four-two, go ahead.

We’re right with CATHERINE as she follows KIRSTEN and the

other PC through the little kitchen at the back of the nick

(grabbing car keys from hooks on the wall as they go)

CATHERINE:

What’s your location, Shaf? One of

us’ll pick y’up, it’s all hands on

deck.

SHAFIQ:

(oov)

We’re just on by t’wharf.

-and through the outer back door.

CUT TO:

7 EXT. NORLAND ROAD POLICE STATION, BACK YARD. DAY 5. 13.32 7

Continuous

CATHERINE:

Is Jonno with you?

SHAFIQ:

(oov)

Yep, he’s here.

CATHERINE:

Two minutes. Bravo November Four-

five to Control.

CATHERINE dives into one patrol car as KIRSTEN and the other

PC dive into another. We stick with Catherine.

CONTROL:

Go ahead four-five.

CATHERINE:

Have we a mobile unit - double

crewed - I need ‘em for a back-up

job on Turnpike Street in Elland.

Silent approach, rendezvous on

Cemetery Road.

CUT TO:

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 9.

8 EXT. TURNPIKE STREET, ELLAND. DAY 5. 13.50 8

Just above Turnpike Street is a little grassed area with a

small children’s playground. There’s an ice cream van parked

right next to it, with an unusual number of customers, most

of them low-life and hoodies. There’s a few toddlers with

mums too, but they’re outnumbered.

Inside the van we glimpse close-up as one of two lads serving

ice-cream drops a wrap of dope into the bottom of a cone,

pulls a swirl of ice cream on top, and hands it over the

counter to a lad offering a tenner. The other lad inside the

van takes the tenner and pockets it (and obviously gives no

change). The next hoodie appears at the window, and asks the

lad for “two o’ them what he had”, and proffers a couple of

tenners.

Just then a patrol car and a traffic car appear from one end

of the street, and a second patrol car from the other. At

speed. They’ve got the blue lights flashing, but no sirens.

People start shouting “Feds!” “Pigs!” ”Bastard police!” etc,

whilst the two boys in the van are going, “Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!”

The boy who was collecting the cash jumps into the driver’s

seat and starts trying to turn the engine over, but it’s no

use:
one patrol car’s pulled up right in front, one right

behind, whilst the traffic car’s boxed him in at the side.

Which obliges the lad to say “Sh*t!” again.

The clientele are all dispersing - fast. CATHERINE, KIRSTEN,

SHAFIQ, TWIGGY (a PC) and the other PC, plus the two TRAFFIC

COPS, all dive out of their vehicles. The two dope-sellers

come flying out of the ice-cream van window, one after the

other, and race off. Because some of the clients are running

off too, there’s some confusion about who’s who. Six of the

seven police officers grab who they can, whilst one of them

secures the ice cream van. One of the dope-sellers is grabbed

and floored and cuffed (by KIRSTEN and TWIGGY), but

CATHERINE’s got her eye on the other one, who’s legging it.

CATHERINE:

(at SHAFIQ)

THAT ONE!

SHAFIQ diverts from the one he’s after to join CATHERINE

racing after this one. CATHERINE gets close enough, then

rugby tackles him to the ground, but it’s messy, and he

manages to free one of his legs and boots her in the eye.

SHAFIQ dives on top. CATHERINE grabs one of the lad’s arms,

pushes it up behind his back and slips the cuffs on

CATHERINE (CONT’D)

Stop wriggling, you’re not going

anywhere.

Considering she’s just been kicked in the eye, she’s

remarkably calm.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 10.

SHAFIQ:

What’s in your pockets?

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