Happy Valley Page #8

Season #1 Episode #2

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TOMMY:

Anything else to say? Little shitty

pants.

LEWIS writhes on the floor, making a few unpleasant unhealthy

sounds. TOMMY aims another good, sound kick at LEWIS’s

crotch, then goes and picks up the phone. He spits at ANN and

walks out, up the stairs. ANN wimpers, LEWIS groans and

writhes on the floor. Upstairs the outer door slams as TOMMY

leaves.

CUT TO:

33 EXT. TODMORDEN, STREET. DAY 6. 08.15 33

Next morning. A shiny new morning. Rush hour in Todmorden.

There’s been a road traffic accident.

A patrol car (blue lights and an occasional burst of siren to

make people shift) weaves through the queue of traffic. It’s

CATHERINE. She pulls up. An ambulance and another patrol car

are already here, already taking control of the scene. We see

a 47-year-old man in a suit, who looks pale, shaken,

concerned, and who appears to have driven his Porsche into

the back of another vehicle, which in turn has been shunted

into the back of another vehicle, which has been shunted into

pedestrians on a zebra crossing. A woman (pedestrian) is now

being stretchered into the back of an ambulance. SHAFIQ’s

with the woman who drove the car that shunted into the

pedestrian (who is herself in need of medical help because

she’s pale, shaken, shocked), whilst TWIGGY’s controlling the

flow of traffic, which is now limited to one side of the

road.

CATHERINE heads straight over to PORSCHE man -

CATHERINE:

Marcus.

-who looks remarkably relieved to see her.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 38A.

MARCUS:

Catherine.

(sees the black eye)

Ooh have you been in the wars?

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 39.

There’s a brief look between CATHERINE and KIRSTEN (who’s way

over yonder, beyond MARCUS). KIRSTEN’s looking a bit

humiliated, upset, angry, annoyed, sheepish, like she’s had

her nose shoved out of joint. But she’s getting on with her

job anyway, taking a statement from the woman from the middle

vehicle.

CATHERINE:

What happened?

MARCUS:

Went straight into the back, I

couldn’t stop in time, she must

have slammed her brakes on and we

all went piling in behind.

MARCUS seems a bit hyper, a bit wound up, like you might be

when you’ve just been involved in an accident. CATHERINE

nods, takes it in, then gets slightly too close to his face.

She’s not quite as tall as him (but not far off). Is she

going to kiss him?

CATHERINE:

My constable radio’d me to say

she’s asked you to take a

breathalyser test and you weren’t

right keen. Is there a reason for

that?

MARCUS:

Catherine, come on, it’s quarter

past eight in the morning, I’m not

standing here looking like someone

who has vodka for breakfast. People

know who I am.

CATHERINE:

She wasn’t doing it to make you

look bad, it’s routine when there’s

been a smash.

(she lowers her voice to

add)

She’d have asked you even if she

hadn’t smelled alcohol on your

breath.

And it’s obvious that CATHERINE can smell it too: the reason

she got up so close and personal to him.

MARCUS:

Okay, look. I had a late night.

Last night. I

(reluctant and embarrassed

to admit - )

I didn’t - I wasn’t at home, I’ve

not had time to shower. Or change.

(MORE)

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 40.

MARCUS (CONT'D)

So I may admittedly have it on my

breath, but I’m certainly not over

[the limit]

CATHERINE:

So you thought calling her a stupid

little effing something-beginningwith-

C would help.

MARCUS:

She threatened to arrest me.

CATHERINE:

She was doing her job. She risks

her neck every day - all of my

officers do - dealing with scum and

tossers. What none of ‘em need is

abuse from someone on the council

who - above all people - should

know better.

MARCUS:

Yes. I know. I’m sorry. That was -

obviously, it’d just happened, I

was upset, I was shaken, I was -

CATHERINE:

I’d like you to blow into the tube.

(she’s offering it to him)

If you refuse again I’ll arrest

you.

MARCUS:

Okay. Look. I’m more than happy to

apologise to her. I really am.

CATHERINE:

Good, well you can do that as soon

as you’ve done this.

MARCUS:

Catherine. You know I have the

highest respect for you and your

team. I’m amazed you want to make a

fuss like this.

CATHERINE:

Could you blow into the tube

please.

MARCUS:

I did not cause this accident, the

lady at the front did.

CATHERINE:

She’s been breathalysed. She didn’t

have a problem with it. And the

cause remains to be established.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 41.

An impasse. She’s still offering him the tube to blow into.

He’s not taking it.

MARCUS:

I’m not going to be compromised and

humiliated like this.

CATHERINE:

Okay well then I’m going to have to

ask you to give me your keys to

your vehicle. You’ll understand

that I can’t let you drive away

from the scene if you’re refusing

to be breathalysed.

MARCUS shakes his head, can’t believe this happening.

MARCUS:

You know, I never had you down as a

jobsworth.

(CATHERINE doesn’t rise to

that. Further impasse)

The keys are in the ignition.

CATHERINE wants him to blow into the bag. She stands there a

few seconds longer, willing him to take it, but he won’t.

CATHERINE:

Right.

She heads round to the driver’s door.

MARCUS:

I’m refusing on principle. You

understand that. I want that noted

down.

CATHERINE:

You’re refusing ‘cos you’ve been

drinking, you and me both know

that.

MARCUS is panicking basically, but trying not to look like he

is.

MARCUS:

I’m very disappointed. Catherine. I

have to say. That you’re taking

this attitude.

She pulls the car door open. She leans in to take the key

from the ignition. As she does so, she sees something

wedged/fallen down the side of the driver’s seat, a tiny

corner of a plastic bag. She pulls a plastic glove out of her

pocket and pulls it on. MARCUS wonders what she’s doing:

what’s she seen? Instinctively he puts his hands in his

pocket, because instinctively, he knows something’s fallen

out.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE TWO. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 42.

He pulls the passenger door open quickly (which he’s standing

next to) and looks in as CATHERINE pulls the plastic bag out -

not completely, just enough to see what it is.

CATHERINE:

Can y’explain to me what this is?

He looks genuinely shocked. (ha ha)

MARCUS:

I’ve got no idea.

CATHERINE:

Well it looks like a little packet

of white powder to me.

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