Happy Valley Page #7

Season #1 Episode #3

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KEVIN:

What...? News?

JUSTINE:

On the telly, this police woman.

KEVIN:

(dismissive, relieved)

Oh - !

(then trying to sound more

equanimious)

Yeah. Terrible.

JUSTINE:

She was only twenty-three, and it

was just up here! Just up above

Ripponden on Scammonden Road.

KEVIN:

(nodding, he tries to

reflect a concern he’s

too preoccupied to feel)

Yeah. Yeah.

JUSTINE:

We wondered about having a whip

round. For the family. D’you think

that’s appropriate? To ask people.

For money. Or not? Nevison’s not in

this morning, otherwise I’d ask

him.

KEVIN:

Isn’t he? Why?

JUSTINE:

(between you and me)

I think - Helen.

KEVIN:

Why? Is she...?

JUSTINE:

No, nothing new, just...

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 32.

KEVIN:

Okay.

JUSTINE:

So what d’you think?

KEVIN:

Sure.

He’s just not that interested. She smiles and leaves him to

it. KEVIN gets out his mobile and prods in a quick-dial

number. It rings.

JENNY:

(oov)

Hello.

KEVIN:

Hi. I erm... I don’t want to - I

can’t destroy it. I

(he knows it’s ridiculous

and impossible)

-want to give it back. To Nevison.

CUT TO:

40 INT. KEVIN’S HOUSE, KITCHEN. CONTINUOUS. DAY 8. 09.31 40

JENNY:

You can’t. How?

CUT TO:

41 INT. NGA, KEVIN’S OFFICE. DAY 8. 09.32 41

KEVIN:

I know I can’t. I know that. But I

can’t destroy it. It’s money.

JENNY:

What about...?

KEVIN:

What?

She barely dare suggest it, but

JENNY:

If we split it up. Into smaller

amounts. Just a few hundred each.

And put some in your bank account,

and some in mine, and - I don’t

know - then just... use it. To buy

things with. Small things. Over a

period of time.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 33.

KEVIN:

You mean...? Keep it?

JENNY can barely believe herself that she’s suggesting it.

JENNY:

We’d just have to be careful not to

look like we suddenly had a lot of

money to throw around.

KEVIN’s amazed that she’s suggesting it.

CUT TO:

42 EXT. ST.JOHN’S CLOSE, RISHWORTH. DAY 8. 11.00 42

A police car and a police van are parked outside a house on a

local housing estate. A little gang of three teenage lads are

fixing a car across the road from the house, where clearly

something is kicking off. A biggish Asian lad in his twenties

(KHALID) is brought out of the house in handcuffs, lead by

TWIGGY and CATHERINE, who look like they’ve had a tussle with

him. There’s another PC with them, who goes and opens the

back of the van (there’s also a social worker present, and

KHALID’s mother, who’s in tears, pleading with them not to

hurt him, even though she’s complicit in him being

sectioned). KHALID’s kicking off, struggling, upset and he’s

clearly either off his face on something, or just not all

there. Despite having to wrestle him to the van, they’re

trying not to be too heavy handed with him

TWIGGY:

Calm down, lad. You’re making it a

thousand times worse for yourself

than it need be.

KHALID shouts across the road at the lads. He’s genuine and

desperate

KHALID:

Ey - you’re witnesses! You’ve seen

this! You’re seeing what they’re

doing to me!

LAD 1

Yay!! It’s nutty Khalid.

LAD 2

Y’all right, nutty Khalid!?

KHALID:

If I’m never ever seen again - you

will know!

(MORE)

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 34.

KHALID (CONT'D)

(he’s struggling so much

he’s nearly wriggling out

of his clothes, falling

over so they have to

struggle to keep him

upright)

You will know I’ve been abducted! I

am being ABDUCTED! That’s what this

is!

CATHERINE:

Stand up. Khalid. Get up.

LAD 2

(answering KHALID, amused)

Yeah, really?

KHALID:

By t’government!

LAD 1

Course you are.

LAD 2

‘Cos government have nowt better to

do.

KHALID:

Because I know things! That’s why

they’ve been watching me! That is

why they’ve been spying on me! All

day, every day! For months! And

they think I don’t know!

(at CATHERINE)

Well I bloody do!

CATHERINE:

(struggling with him)

Get in, lad. In! Come on.

They have to force him in, but they have techniques.

LAD 1

Is that why you wrap yersen up in

tin foil, you nutty bugger?

LAD 2

Does he?

LAD 1

Yeah, and a pan on his head (

wiggling his fingers at

the side of his head)

-to stop the radio waves

penetratulating his brainium.

They piss themselves laughing. The other POLICE OFFICER shuts

KHALID in the back of the van.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 35.

KHALID continues to shout and bang and make a fuss. BRETT is

sitting in the car. A souped up 15-year-old banger.

BRETT:

Oy!

(he revs the engine and

sings - )

And another one - and another one -

and another bites the dust! And

another one down and another one

down, and another one bites the

dust!

The three police officers can’t believe what they’re hearing.

CATHERINE’s face is like thunder. She really cannot believe

it. She spends a few seconds considering the option of

ignoring it. But the lads just keep chortling and sniggering

and thinking it’s highly amusing as BRETT continues to rev

the engine. CATHERINE makes a decision and walks across the

road. TWIGGY and the other PC tense up. What’s she going to

do? LADS 1 & 2 instantly know they’ve made a big mistake, but

BRETT doesn’t realise until CATHERINE’s nearly on top of him.

BRETT (CONT’D)

What?

CATHERINE:

Get out of your vehicle.

BRETT:

Why?

CATHERINE:

Get out of the vehicle.

He’s not sure whether to comply or not. So she grabs him by

whatever’s handy and helps him out. She’s strong when she’s

wound up. She shoves him up against his car and gets right in

his face. She’s the same height as him. She has one hand

firmly round his throat.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)

What did you say?

BRETT:

Nothing, I

CATHERINE:

No, I heard you. You said

something. I’d like you to repeat

it.

BRETT:

I just - I said - I didn’t mean it,

I didn’t mean anyfin, I was just

sing[ing]

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 36.

CATHERINE:

What were you singing?

BRETT:

Nothing. I

She gets her baton out, still with her face right in his,

still with the other hand firmly on his throat.

CATHERINE:

Do you think it’s funny?

BRETT:

No.

CATHERINE:

‘Cos I got the distinct impression

that you thought it was funny.

BRETT:

I don’t know what you mean.

CATHERINE:

So you think I’m stupid?

BRETT:

No.

CATHERINE:

Do I look stupid?

BRETT:

No.

CATHERINE:

Turn round.

BRETT:

Why?

CATHERINE:

Turn around.

BRETT:

(terrified)

I haven’t done anything.

CATHERINE:

Yes you have

She grabs his wrist, and using her baton painfully twists his

arm up behind his back, so he’s forced to turn around and

bend forward so he’s doubled up and entirely unable to resist

what she’s doing to him. He exclaims in pain as she shoves

him up against his car.

HAPPY VALLEY. EPISODE THREE. BY SALLY WAINWRIGHT 37.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)

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