Hard Luck

Some people say luck...

...ain't nothing

but karma in work clothes.

Cause and effect.

You'll get us killed, motherf***er.

You get the f*** out of my car.

This is my car. Hell, no!

What are you, on crack?

Stop the f***ing car!

Look, now get out and let me drive!

Get out!

Oh, yeah.

You have to go to a hospital.

Yeah, you're wondering,

how the f*** did I get here?

I made some bad choices.

If it hadn't been for prison,

I never would've met Philomene.

Knowledge is power.

I'm Cape Verdean.

Got me expanding my horizons.

Classic falling-for-your-caseworker,

you know.

Philomene wasn't having it or me.

All I could do was read

and watch movies.

Anything but gangster flicks.

This sh*t reminded me

too much of my past.

And I was determined

to make sure my past...

...would not be my future.

You know, I worked odd jobs...

...and Philomene finally

took me seriously.

And we put what we had together,

bought a nice little place down south.

And as luck would have it,

she couldn't have kids.

So we got a dog.

She wanted to name him Lucky,

after me.

I said, hell, no.

Give the mutt a chance.

We called him Scraps.

For a moment, I thought

my luck might have changed.

Now, ain't that a b*tch?

All the bullets I done caught over

the years and I get diverticulitis.

They said they had to

operate right away.

Maybe luck is a matter of timing.

When I woke up...

...seemed like

time had run out on all of us.

Anybody down here?

Sh*t. What the f*** is going on?

At first, I thought

the rapture had come and... and...

Like those end-of-the-days preachers

are always talking about.

And J.C., he had come down

and taken everybody except me.

Hello?

- Hey, come here, boy.

- I repeat:

- Come here.

- This has been a class-five hurricane.

- Yeah, Pops.

- Hurricane Katrina, class-five.

Authorities are

now urging everyone...

...to make their way immediately

to the Superdome.

Don't you trust them. Don't go.

Don't go.

We are told that the

National Guard is on its way.

But we have conflicting reports

as to when that will be.

Maybe Mother Nature...

...was trying to give us

one last wake-up call.

Or...

...maybe it's like my grandpa said:

"If it wasn't for bad luck,

I wouldn't have no luck at all."

Say, hi, Daddy.

No Philomene, no Scraps...

...no house.

Freeze.

Roger. Another looter.

Ninth ward, Sector 8.

Situation, Main and Parrish,

request backup.

I'm on it.

Two years ago,

Hurricane Katrina underscored...

...the deep economic and class

divide that still exists in this country.

I figured I could be another brother

waving for help from a rooftop...

...or take my ass back to New York.

It ain't easy being king of the city.

I've got that book.

Holiday cheer, right here.

I got what you need.

Look, a black reindeer.

I got that for you. I've got watches.

I've got your Kwanzaa needs.

I've got your Hanukkah needs.

I've got what you need.

I've got the ties. I've got the coats.

I've got some panties.

Anybody need panties?

- I've got panties.

- Ain't that what's-his-name?

Used to run 135th Street?

Hell, no, that ain't him right there,

man, you bugging.

- That's him, son.

- He died a while back.

He got popped for no telling.

- We out of here, man.

- You too.

Look at them,

I got the glasses for you now, baby.

You know what I'm saying?

You can see how it goes down.

All right, beautiful, right?

I've got them.

Two for 5. Two for 5.

- How's this?

- Better.

Oh, whoa, okay, hey, hey. Cass?

Would you watch it with the 1 K,

because you're flaring me out here?

Could you be a little louder?

I wanna go deaf, like Pete Townshend.

I told you not to point it

directly at the camera.

Pardon me if I'm not up to the

standards of your professionalism.

Okay. Just pan the 650

15 degrees to the left.

My left or camera left?

No, it's always left cam...

Camera left, Cass.

It's not really that hard to remember.

Stage right, camera left.

Okay.

So this is one of those days when

I can't do anything right.

Love is when you...

...and all the f***ed-up sh*t

you ever did in your life...

...and the f***ed-up sh*t that you're

probably gonna do in your life...

...and every little thing

that you could possibly think...

...that would embarrass the living sh*t

out of you on any day of the week...

...to any other person

on the face of the universe...

...but to this one special woman.

She takes it all.

And she kisses the feet

you walk on...

...without judgment,

without anything.

Someone that you know that

you can sh*t, f***, piss, crap, cry.

All of that, you know.

That's what love is, now.

You know, or kind of like going on

an odyssey. Know what I mean?

It's like a fantasy voyage or

something, you know?

And, like, I'm like James T. Kirk...

...and she's like Princess Leia

or something, I don't know.

And, like, we're going where

no couple has ever gone before.

Hey, Lucky. Hey, man, what's up?

Yo, open the door. I'm coming in.

- What's up, baby?

- What's up?

- Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

- What's up, dog?

Yo, man, when you gonna

teach your man to talk?

- All right, man.

- Yeah, he's all right.

You only saying that because

you're on his payroll.

What you got there?

Well, can't have my employee of the

month rolling up to my birthday party...

...wearing some

Swahili-Afro-boogie bullshit.

Sh*t. I'm not your employee.

My bad. My top associate.

Got to represent, you know?

Better not be that

fantasy pimp sh*t...

...that you like wearing.

- No, baby. Tasteful.

I got Sean John, a.k.a. P. Dizzle.

- It's nice.

- Well, can a brother get a thank-you?

"Well, yeah. Well, thank you,

my Hebrew homes."

Afro Hip Hop Youth Day?

What the f*** you do with

my printer?

Yo, well, just consider it like

your donation to the community.

Hey. Hey, the ink is expensive, man.

Yo, let's get to business.

All right. All right.

I got the latest

diamond-encrusted Rolex.

I got the new, gold, baller necklace.

Don't wear that too long.

Your neck will turn green.

I got some sunglasses, some Rays.

- I got everything in here, man.

- Sol.

- What's up?

- Why you do this sh*t, man?

- What do you mean?

- What I mean, your family got paper.

Your uncle owns the jewelry store.

You're robbing your uncle.

Why you do this?

What do you do this for?

Why did you do it?

I mean, you were one of

the biggest hustlers in Harlem, man.

Mr. Untouchable?

Hey, you was poisoning

your own people.

- Yo.

- Yo. No offense, bro.

I mean, it's the American way, right?

We all want more.

Even Donald f***ing Trump

wants more.

More... More power,

more money, more bling.

More punani.

Yo, listen, it's real important to me that

you be on time tonight, you know?

- I'll send the fellas.

- I want to talk about that.

- What's up?

- I'm not gonna be able to roll, man.

- What are you talking about, man?

- You know, that's your thing, man.

- I ain't...

- Oh, but it's my birthday party, man.

We'll have a crazy time, son.

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