Harper Page #4

You have such an advantage

in emotional scenes, Elaine,

being frigid.

Puss, puss, puss.

Did Allan brush you off again?

You simpy, primping, narcissistic...

Either I'm a narcissist or I'm frigid, p*ssy.

I can't very well be both.

Excuse me, ladies.

Oh, why are you leaving?

It's so attractive here.

I should think you'd be accustomed

to not being loved by now.

I love your wrinkles. I revel in them.

Puss, puss, puss.

I...

I just don't enjoy carrying

this kind of money around.

I'm a lawyer, not a financier.

Albert, you got any friends in the LA Police

from when you were DA up here?

I have some favors left uncollected, yes.

Get them to run a check

on every black limousine

rented or stolen in the last three days.

See if you can get them to put

somebody on a dive called The Piano.

Dwight Troy's place.

You mean Troy...

What do you know about him?

I had to take some papers to Las

Vegas once for Sampson to sign.

He and Troy were gambling.

I checked on Troy.

He seems elegant enough, but people

have a habit of dying around him.

I've tried telling Sampson, but...

Oh, thank heavens.

I was so nervous, bringing that here.

I got this out of mothballs.

You know, you always were the

most unlikely war hero I ever knew.

Still know how to use it?

I hope not.

Better get a cop up here to

keep an eye on that money.

You're not staying?

I'm getting buggy sitting around here.

It's about time I visited that

mountain that Sampson gave away.

Miranda? Hello, Miranda. Miranda's coming.

How are you?

- Suicidal.

- Oh.

I just had the nicest chat with stepmommy.

How do I get to that mountain, anyway?

Oh, here, I'll diagram it for you.

Don't bother. I'll take him. I've

just got to get out of this house.

Wait till I change.

Wow!

I expect you to behave in all

ways like a civilized human being.

First it's Taggert's boyish charm, and

now it's your indefinable something.

- Poor, nice Albert.

- I am nice.

Wouldn't you think she'd notice?

The bottom is loaded

with nice people, Albert.

Only cream and bastards rise.

Why so fast, Harper?

You trying to impress me?

You got a way of starting

conversations that ends conversation.

Why is your wife divorcing you?

You got a way of starting

conversations that ends conversation.

What do you do this kind

of crummy work for, anyway?

What, are you trying to be funny?

I do it because I believe

in the United Nations

and Southeast Asia and...

You think it's funny if your life depends

on what goes through the Panama Canal?

What about the English pound?

I'll tell you something, boy,

so long as there's a Siberia,

you'll find Lew Harper on the job.

- Are you putting me on?

- Jeez, I don't think so.

Hey, Harper, what do you think of me?

Well, I'd say you had nearly everything

and could develop into almost anything.

What's my big deficiency?

Your sideburns.

Come on.

Just that.

Stop acting like a b*tch in heat

every time anything

pretty in pants wanders by.

Oh, so we think we're pretty.

Well, what's your big deficiency?

I have none. I'm a bloody saint.

Yeah? What about that woman

last night at the restaurant?

Well, what could be more saintly?

Just feeding booze to an

alcoholic to get information.

All part of the job.

Well, when I'm bored, I drive fast.

I pretend I'm on my way to

meet something utterly new,

all naked and bright.

I've gone 105 along here.

Oh, what are you trying to do? Impress me?

Well, why don't you stand on it, old man?

You're just as stuffy as Albert.

The same Victorian hang-up.

You probably still think a

woman's place is in the home.

Not in my home.

Well, now, there's something

all naked and bright for you.

Have you come to seek salvation?

It's me, Claude, Miranda Sampson.

This is Mr. Harper.

We're looking for Daddy. Has he been here?

No.

To my sorrow, no.

I'm sorry.

You may not come onto holy

ground. You've not been purified.

I was once a lost and evil man,

blind-hearted and sinful.

Miranda here can tell you that.

But then the sword of the blessed sun

slew the black beast of the flesh

and I was purified at last.

Can't I just look around?

He'll be risking the wrath of the sun god.

I'm lionhearted.

Expecting disciples for supper?

Whoever comes to the Temple of the Clouds

may be sure of some warm beans and a bed.

- Where is the harm?

- Nowhere.

I know you think me a charlatan.

I can only say that if you were correct,

then death could not claim me too quickly.

You obviously have some strong

connection with the Sampsons.

Don't deride me to them, I beg you.

The gift of this temple was

the beginning of my life.

I know to you I look ridiculous,

but I only want to increase the

amount of love in this world.

Where is the harm?

Nowhere.

That in itself is a victory. Don't laugh.

Oh, I only laugh at what's funny.

What's that,

- the bedroom?

- It will be.

It's nice.

How many followers you got up here?

- It varies.

- With the climate?

You might say that.

Thanks for the tour.

- Walk with love.

- I'll try.

Yeah, I only laugh when it's funny.

My own stupidity, maybe.

- Mr. Graves here?

- He's in Santa Theresa.

But there's a deputy in the library.

What's going on?

- Nothing much. Kidnapping and extortion.

- Oh.

Fingerprints?

Now, I knew that. What's the matter with me?

- You got an evidence kit?

- Oh, yes, sir.

Right out in the car. Do you

want me to go get it for you?

Oh, no, no. I just want to stand here

for a couple of hours and hold this.

No, listen, though, I'll get it for you, sir.

Long arm of the law, good luck.

- Yes?

- Lew.

- Yeah.

- It's a kidnapping. I got the note.

"Deposit $500,000

"at 9:
00 tonight.

"Oil field, one mile south of Santa Theresa.

"Leave money at large oil

pump, end of double row.

"After drop, drive north and keep on going.

"Too bad for Sampson if you screw up. "

us three-and-a- half hours.

Better call the Sheriff

and have him pay me a visit.

Right.

- Anything on the limousine?

- Nothing yet, but we're checking.

Lew?

How do you suppose they

knew the money was ready?

I don't know. Either they're gambling

or they got somebody inside the castle.

- You think?

- I think.

Okay.

Hey!

What are you doing there?

- I was just...

- How many phones in the house?

- Five.

- Come on, quick!

Six! Three up, three down.

Too many.

Too damn many.

Since you phoned, I've

been pondering all this,

and it's my opinion we

give them the money clean

and hope they come through with Sampson.

Then if they don't, he'll hunt them down.

- You think?

- I think.

Oh, no, no. This note says to

drop the money and drive north.

Well, that means he'll be

making his getaway south.

I'll set up a roadblock down the highway.

You do that, you kiss goodbye to Sampson.

Well, whoever I catch, I

guarantee I'll make him talk.

You make it worse, you trip the money man.

We'll have the kidnapper in the county jail

but Sampson with his throat cut somewhere.

Who is this clown?

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