Harry and the Hendersons Page #5

This is the first time my dad ever wanted

me to draw anything and what is it?

A target for a bunch of

blood-thirsty crackpots.

Come to bed.

No, really, it's the same old story.

One Christmas, when I was a kid,

I begged him all fall

for a set of paints.

He ends up giving me a BB gun.

Like you got Ernie.

Yeah.

Come to bed.

No.

Honey, I can't.

I gotta finish this.

What's the problem?

If I make him look

mean and vicious,

people are gonna shoot first and

then worry about the consequences.

It's like drawing a "wanted"

poster of your best friend.

But if I make him look peaceful,

the way Harry really is...

Well, that's just not

what my father wants.

George, I'm so proud of you.

You don't know what to do.

If your father wants a Bigfoot,

give him a Bigfoot.

I wanted King Kong, you brought

me a goddamn giant gerbil.

I told you exactly what to do.

You didn't even come close.

Well, maybe it's right on the nose.

I mean, how do we know?

Maybe it's not vicious at all.

Maybe it's gentle,

even has feelings.

Where did you dream up that sh*t?

Go stick a pin in Queen Anne's Hill,

we just got another sighting.

Should have got a real artist.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

MAN:
I need one of those

Clint Eastwood magnums.

You got an M-16?

Anything that'll go

fully automatic?

Fully automatic is illegal and it

takes seven days to clear a handgun.

I'm afraid if you want a gun right now

it'll have to be a rifle or a shotgun.

Anything with a night-scope.

Give me the biggest one you got!

Well, we've got some big guns

and some big, big guns,

but I'm afraid we're all out

of big, big ammo! Who's next?

Look, pal, they just spotted that

thing not three blocks from my house.

Where do you live?

What for?

It's for the gun.

Where do you live?

11484 Devon Drive.

Where was the sighting?

On the corner of Maple and Ogilvy.

What the hell's

that got to do with it?

Where you going?

MAN:
Son of a b*tch!

(PEOPLE GRUMBLING)

See? You're not

the only artist in the family.

How's that for

an arthritic old shooter, huh?

What the hell did you do that for?

It was my drawing!

Why did you change it?

Hey, George. Cool down.

It's just a piece of cardboard.

Not to me!

It means something to me!

Can't you see that?

He means something to me!

What the hell are you talking about?

The hell with it! I quit!

Over this? You can't quit!

We've never been so busy!

What the hell's

the matter with you?

(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)

Harry.

Yeah.

Sorry, thought

you were someone else.

MAN:
It was huge.

It was bigger than you are!

Twice as big as you. Gigantic!

Biggest thing I ever saw.

Excuse me,

when did all this happen?

Do you mind? I'm trying

to take a statement.

It was huge. Gigantic.

A monster like an ape with rabies, only

bigger than a regular ape with rabies.

Now just calm down and

tell me what happened.

Okay. I'm okay.

I brought my poor ten-speed

to a complete stop

like I always do at stop signs.

When out of nowhere

this humungous hairy thing

is standing right

in front of me! Growling.

With these enormous fangs and these

giant hands, and he grabs me.

And he picks me up,

bike and all, over his head

then he smashes me down on the

cement and now he's all over me.

And he's snarling with saliva

dripping off his pointed teeth.

So I grab my Mace...

What? Mace? You idiot!

COP:
Stand back.

I didn't really Mace him.

I was about to be eaten!

Eaten? By a vegetarian?

All right, that's it. Officers!

No, now look...

I have no doubt that you saw him,

but what really happened is

when you saw him,

you were so scared shitless that you

crashed your precious ten speed

into the stop sign,

bumped your head on the curb

and probably scared him

half to death in the process!

I'm right, aren't I? That's

what really happened, isn't it?

Isn't it?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Yes. Yes.

How did you know this?

Did you witness it happen?

What's your name, sir?

My name?

My name is George Hen...

George, George what?

George Hen...

George what?

I'm sorry.

I really have to go.

(ALL CLAMORING)

MAN 1 ON TV:

...the dreaded name of Bigfoot

reverberated through newsrooms...

MAN 2:
They are usually

restricted to remote areas...

Today's report of the

legendary beast attacking...

Other news, there has been yet

another sighting of the creature

that some people are now

calling the legendary Bigfoot.

As a matter of fact an eyewitness is

now claiming to have been attacked

by the legendary beast

known as Bigfoot.

He quickly changed

his story, however...

Update, Bigfoot right here

in the city.

When this mystery man known to us as,

George Hen, appeared on the scene...

I have no doubt

that you saw him,

but when you saw him,

you were so scared...

knowledge of the Bigfoot's

habits, vanished before...

GEORGE ON TV:
and bumped

your head on the curb...

crashed your precious

ten-speed into the stop sign,

bumped your head on the curb

and probably scared him

half to death in the process!

WOMAN 2:
What's your name, sir?

My name?

My name is George Hen...

George, George what?

George Hen...

My name?

My name is George Hen...

George, George what?

George Hen...

WOMAN 2:

How did you know this?

MAN:
Did you witness it happen?

What's your name, sir?

My name?

My name is George Hen.

WOMAN 1:
Listening to

our reporter talk about it,

you'd think Mr. Hen

had a personal...

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

MAN 3:
Did I catch the fact

that he actually...

(WOMAN 1 LAUGHING)

Quite possible.

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

MAN 4:
Anybody who knows the

whereabouts of the elusive Mr. Hen

or the hairy visitor, should call

this station and report Bigfoot.

What the hell is that?

(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)

(MAN TALKING ON TV)

I said get out of here now!

(WHISPERING) Harry!

Harry!

(GROWLING)

I want this quadrant air tight.

Nothing gets out! Nothing!

And no force except

in self-defense!

I don't want some prankster

in a monkey suit

bleeding all over the streets.

(MEN CHATTERING)

WOMAN ON RADIO:
We have

civilians with weapons.

All units in the vicinity of Broadway

and Torrance please respond.

Repeat, we have civilians

with weapons.

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

OFFICER:
Hey, you! Halt!

Freeze! Move out!

Drop it!

What, are you crazy? Do you know

how much I paid for this gun?

Get this guy. Come on,

move it! Move it!

(GROWLING)

(MEN SHOUTING)

(BANGING)

(ROARING)

(GUN FIRES)

My God! Harry?

(HOWLING)

Harry, are you hurt?

Where are you?

(BANGING)

Harry.

Thank God, you're okay!

Come on down!

Stay right there!

Don't move.

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Hang on, Harry.

Follow that garbage truck!

(CLICKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Harry! Harry,

come on down.

There. Quick! This way!

GEORGE:
We did it!

(GUNS COCKING)

GEORGE:
(WHISPERING) Nancy.

Honey.

Look who's here.

Harry?

Harry!

BOTH:
Harry.

I knew it was you. I could smell

you all the way upstairs.

Wow! Let's celebrate!

Let's take a picture!

I'll get the camera.

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