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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Scene 1:
In a cage.LOCATION:
Little Whinging, Surrey – nightLOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - nightHARRY:
I can’t let you out, Hedwig. I’m not allowed to use magic outside ofschool. Besides, if Uncle VernonUNCLE
VERNON:
Harry Potter!HARRY:
Now you’ve done it.AUNT PETUNIA:
He’s in there. Vernon...UNCLE VERNON:
I’m warning you, if you can’t control that bloody bird it’llhave to go.
HARRY:
But she’s bored! If I could only let out for an hour or twoUNCLEVERNON:
Huh, huh! So you could send secret messages to you freakylittle friends. No, sir!
HARRY:
But I haven’t had any messages from any of my friends... not one...all summer.
DUDLEY:
Who’d want to be friends with you?UNCLE VERNON:
I should think you’d be a little more grateful. We’ve raisedyou since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you
have Dudley’s second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
AUNT PETUNIA:
Not now, Bopkins. For when the Masons arrive.UNCLE VERNON:
Which should be any minute! Ahem...Now let’s go over ourschedule once again, shall we? Petunia when the Masons arrive you will be...?
AUNT PETUNIA:
...in the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously into ourhome.
UNCLE VERNON:
Good! And- and Dudley, you will be...?DUDLEY:
I’ll be waiting to open the door!UNCLE VERNON:
Excellent! ...And you...?HARRY:
I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don’texist.
UNCLE VERNON:
Too right, you will. With any luck, this could well be the dayI make the biggest deal of my career. And you will not mess it up!
Scene 2:
Dobby’s warning.LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night(Ding-dong!)
UNCLE VERNON:
Mr. and Mrs. Mason! Do come in!DOBBY:
Ha- ha- ha! Ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha! Harry Potter! Such an honor itis!
HARRY:
Who are you?DOBBY:
Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf.HARRY:
Not to be to be rude or anything, but this isn’t a great time for meto have a house elf in my bedroom.
DOBBY:
Oh, oh yes, sir! Dobby understands! It’s just that, Dobby has come totell you- it is difficult, sir- Dobby wonders where to begin?
HARRY:
Why don’t you sit down?DOBBY:
S-sit down? S-sit- sit down? Oh, oh, ho. Oh, ho, ho... Oh, ho, ho.Ohh, ho, hoo...
HARRY:
Dobby, ssh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you, or anything.DOBBY:
Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but never has hebeen asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal.
HARRY:
You can’t have met many decent wizards then.DOBBY:
No, I haven’t. That was an awful thing to say. Bad Dobby!HARRY:
Stop, Dobby!DOBBY:
Bad Dobby!HARRY:
Dobby, shh!DOBBY:
Baaad Dobby!HARRY:
Dobby, please stop!LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - nightUNCLE VERNON:
Ohh, don’t mind that! It’s just the cat.LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - nightDOBBY:
Bad Dobby. Bad Dobby!HARRY:
Stop! Stop, Dobby. Please be quiet! Are you all right?DOBBY:
Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of hisfamily, sir.
HARRY:
Your family?DOBBY:
The wizard family Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve onefamily forever. If they ever knew Dobby was here...ooh... But Dobby had to
come. Dobby has to protect Harry Potter- to warn him. Harry Potter must not
go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year! There is a
plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.
HARRY:
What terrible things? Who’s plotting them?DOBBY:
Ooo... er... can’t... say... argh...HARRY:
Ok– I- understand. You can’t- say.DOBBY:
Don’t make me talk, I— Errr...HARRY:
Dobby! Dobby, put the lamp down.DOBBY:
Bad Dobby.LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - nightUNCLE VERNON:
So when they arrive at the ninth hole...LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s roomHARRY:
Give me the lamp! Dobby stop!DOBBY:
Let me go!HARRY:
Get in there, and keep quiet!UNCLE VERNON:
What the devil are you doing up here?HARRY:
I- I was just—UNCLE VERNON:
You just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke!HARRY:
Sorry.UNCLE VERNON:
One more sound, and you’ll wish you’d never been born, boy! Andfix that door!
HARRY:
Yes, sir... See why I’ve got to go back? I don’t belong here. I belongin your world, at Hogwarts. It’s the only place I’ve got friends!
DOBBY:
Friends who don’t even write to Harry Potter?HARRY:
Well, I expect they’ve... been- hang on- how do you know my friendshaven’t been writing to me?
DOBBY:
Harry Potter mustn’t be angry with Dobby. Heh- Dobby hoped, if HarryPotter thought his friends had forgotten him, Harry Potter might not want to
go back to school, sir.
HARRY:
Give me those, now!DOBBY:
No! Ahh! Ooh...LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Kitchen - nightHARRY:
Dobby, get back here!DOBBY:
(Snap!)HARRY:
Dobby, please, no!DOBBY:
Harry Potter must say he’s not going back to school!HARRY:
I can’t. Hogwarts is my home!DOBBY:
Then, Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter’s own good. (Snap!)LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Living Room - nightUNCLE VERNON:
...it spread as far as the eye could see, all over the floor ofthis vast building, and it was this deep. And one plumber said “Look at all
that water.” A-and the second plumber said, “Yes, and that’s just the top of
it!”
DOBBY:
(Snap!)UNCLE VERNON:
I’m so sorry! It’s my nephew- he’s very disturbed. Meetingstrangers upsets him. That’s why I kept him upstairs!
Scene 3:
Car rescue.LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – exterior - daytimeUNCLE VERNON:
You’re never going back to that school. You’re never going tosee those freaky friends of yours again. Never!
LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - nightRON:
Hiya, Harry!HARRY:
Ron! Fred. George. What are you all doing here?RON:
Rescuing you, of course. Now, come on. Get your trunk!...RON:
You’d better stand back. Let’s go!LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Mr. And Mrs. Dursley’s room - nightAUNT PETUNIA:
Oh!UNCLE VERNON:
Now, what the hell’s he doing? Potter!LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Upstairs hall - nightDUDLEY:
Dad! What’s going on?LOCATION:
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – outside Harry’s room - nightGEORGE:
Go, go, go, go!DUDLEY:
Dad, hurry up!RON:
Come on.FRED:
Come on.RON:
Come on, Harry! Hurry up!UNCLE VERNON:
Petunia, he’s escaping!HARRY:
Ahh- ahh!RON:
I’ve got you Harry!UNCLE VERNON:
Come here!HARRY:
Let go of me!UNCLE VERNON:
Oh no, boy! You and that bloody pigeon aren’t going anywhere!HARRY:
Get off!RON:
Drive!FRED:
Right.GEORGE:
Right!UNCLE VERNON:
No! No! No! No! Aaaah!AUNT PETUNIA & DUDLEY: Aaah!
DUDLEY:
Dad!UNCLE VERNON:
Oh... Damn.LOCATION:
Flying car - over Little Whinging, Surrey - nightRON:
By the way, Harry, Happy Birthday!Scene 4:
The Burrow.LOCATION:
The Burrow – exterior - morningLOCATION:
The Burrow – Kitchen - morningFRED:
Come on. Okay, come on. Shh! Shh! Ok, come on. Shh! Come on.RON:
Do you think it’d be all right if we had some of this?GEORGE:
Yeah, Mum would never know.RON:
It’s not much, but it’s home.HARRY:
I think it’s brilliantMRS. WEASLEY:
Where have you been? Harry, how wonderful to see you dear. Bedsempty! No note! Car gone! You could have died! You could have been seen! Of
course, I don’t blame you, Harry dear.
RON:
They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window!MRS. WEASLEY:
Well, you’d best hope that I don’t put bars on your window,Ronald Weasley! Come on Harry, time for a spot of breakfast. Here we are
Harry. Now tuck in! That’s it. There we go.
GINNY:
Mum- Mummy, have you seen my jumper?MRS. WEASLEY:
Yes dear. It was on the cat.HARRY:
Hello. W-what did I do?RON:
Ginny. She’s been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying really.ARTHUR WEASLEY:
Morning, Weasleys.FRED, GEORGE, RON: Morning, Dad.
MRS. WEASLEY:
Morning Arthur!ARTHUR WEASLEY:
What a night. Nine raids. Nine!HARRY:
Raids?RON:
Dad works in the Ministry of Magic, in the Misuse of Muggle ArtifactsOffice. Dad loves Muggles, thinks they’re fascinating.
ARTHUR WEASLEY:
Well now. Aah! And who are you?HARRY:
Oh, sorry sir. I’m Harry, sir, Harry Potter.ARTHUR WEASLEY:
Good Lord! Are you really? Well, Ron’s told us all about you,of course. When did he get here?
MRS. WEASLEY:
This morning. Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours toSurrey and back last night.
ARTHUR WEASLEY:
Did you really? How’d it go? Did you—FRED, GEORGE, RON, HARRY: Oh, it...
MRS. WEASLEY:
Arthur!ARTHUR WEASLEY:
I mean...that was very wrong, indeed, boys. Very wrong ofyou. Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what exactly is
the function of a rubber duck?
HARRY:
Oh, umm...MRS. WEASLEY:
Well, that’ll be Errol with the post. Oh, fetch it will youPercy, please?
PERCY:
Errol...PERCY:
Oh look, it’s our Hogwarts letters. And they’ve sent us Harry’s aswell.
ARTHUR WEASLEY:
Dumbledore must know you’re here, Harry. Doesn’t miss atrick, that man.
MRS. WEASLEY:
Oh, no.FRED:
This lot won’t come cheap, Mum. The spell books alone are veryexpensive.
MRS. WEASLEY:
We’ll manage. There’s only one place we’re going to get all ofthis. Diagon Alley.
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"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/harry_potter_and_the_chamber_of_secrets_123>.
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