Harvey

After you.

Is this 348?

Yes, it is.

I've got a special delivery

here. That sounds interesting.

It's for Dowd. Dowd's my name. Elwood P.

Here, sir. Let me give you one of my cards.

That won't be necessary.

Just sign right here. Uh-huh.

Beautiful day. Every day's a beautiful day.

Thank you.

He was a nice man.

Come on.

Thank heavens

he's gone!

Oh, Myrtle, it's

a wonderful feeling...

to have your relative out of the

house before the company comes.

You're sure Uncle Elwood won't

come back and spoil everything?

Of course not, dear. Your uncle

always spends the afternoon...

downtown at those filthy bars

and taverns, you know that.

I'll go tell the cateress

to get started.

Why, Miss Johnson, what

are you doing? Leaving.

Miss Johnson, you were hired

to serve as well as cater.

Our guests will be here any

minute. Now, Miss Johnson...

Myrtle, let me handle this,

dear. Miss Johnson, what's wrong?

There was a man here a minute ago

and he stopped and he spoke to me.

You didn't tell him anything about our

party, did you? I didn't tell him nothin'!

He gave me his card. Here. And

then he introduced me to somebody.

To whom? Do you think I'd

stay in this house after that?

Um, well...

Oh!

People get run over by trucks every day.

Why can't that happen to Uncle Elwood?

Myrtle Mae Simmons,

I'm ashamed of you!

Even if people do call your uncle

peculiar, he is still my baby brother...

and this is not his

fault. Whose fault is it?

We'll get the cook to do the

serving. Come and lend me a hand.

We haven't got much time.

Elvira!

If it isn't his fault,

whose fault is it?

I know whose fault it is, but I'm

not telling. You're not telling?

Elvira?

Elvira, you can bring

those things in now.

Mother, why can't we live

like other people?

Do I have

to keep reminding you...

your Uncle Elwood is not living

with us, we're living with him?

Living with him and his pal! You promised!

- His pal Harvey!

- Oh, you said that name.

You promised you wouldn't say

that name and you said it!

Mother, why did grandmother leave

all her property to Uncle Elwood?

I suppose it was because

she died in his arms.

People are sentimental

about things like that.

You always say that

and it doesn't make sense.

She couldn't make out a will after

she died, could she? Don't be didactic.

It's not becoming in a young

girl. Besides, men loathe it.

Men! A fine chance

I've got!

Dear, the whole idea of this

party this afternoon is to...

Is to get you started socially, so

that you can meet some nice young men.

What's the use?

Myrtle Mae Simmons,

her uncle, Elwood P. Dowd,

is the biggest screw...

Screwball in town!

Who'd want me?

Myrtle, dear, you're sweet

and you have so much to offer.

I don't care what anyone says, there's

something sweet about every young girl.

And a man takes that sweetness

and look what he does with it!

Oh, show some poise, dear. I

want you to charm Mrs. Chauvenet.

She has a grandson

just about your age.

A lot of good that'll do if Uncle Elwood

comes home. Uncle Elwood won't be home.

Or will he? I'm going to telephone

Judge Gaffney. We can't take any chances.

Mother,

you better hurry!

Mrs. Halsey and Miss

Tewksbury are here already.

Oh, dear.

Yes, dear, I am hurrying.

Hurry, Mother. They're

getting out of the car.

Oh...

Judge Gaffney, please.

Mrs. Veta Simmons calling.

Yes?

Oh, put her on.

Veta, my girl,

this is a pleasure.

Judge, we haven't got

a moment to lose.

I'm having the Wednesday Forum over

for a program tea for Ethel Chauvenet.

Elwood has just gone out, but

I'm so afraid he may come back.

You can understand why.

Oh!

Hello, Miss Tewksbury,

Mrs. Halsey.

Go right into the drawing room.

Myrtle, take their things.

Yes, you've got to help me,

Judge.

You've got to help me.

I can't...

Speak up, Veta!

What? I can't make out...

Is that so?

Oh, yoo-hoo, Mrs. Streickelberger.

Hello, Mrs. Simmons.

Oh, no, no, no.

Yes, that'll be all right.

You can depend on me.

All right.

Minninger, in a few minutes, a

man will be crossing the square.

He'll be wearing a hat and coat and

carrying another one over his arms.

I want you to follow him. If necessary,

even confront him, quietly, of course.

But at all events, I want you to

prevent him from returning to his house.

His sister is giving a party. He wouldn't

fit in. His name is Elwood P. Dowd.

Elwood Dowd, sir! Couldn't

you get someone else?

Kratke maybe or Beck?

They're bigger than I am.

You'll be able to hide better. Hurry and

stick with him all afternoon. Quickly, boy.

Yes, sir.

Oh, elevator!

Come in.

Yes?

Who is it?

Oh! The doctor

will see you in a minute.

Good afternoon, Mr. Dowd. Howdy do?

We must be

more careful.

After you.

How do, Mr. Dowd? Afternoon, Mr. Cracker.

Excuse me.

How is he? Oh, he's just

fine, fine. How are you?

Oh, can't complain.

That's good.

Is this all right?

You sure, hmm?

Well, all right. Give you a hand

there. Whoop, don't slip! There.

You sure this is all right? You

wouldn't rather sit in a booth?

Well, all right. Would he prefer a booth?

Thank you, Mr. Cracker. He

seems to prefer the bar today.

Good afternoon

to you, sir.

Mr. Meegles is back. Oh!

Well!

You...

Excuse me a minute.

Mr. Meegles, this is a

pleasure! We've missed you.

How are you, Mr. Dowd? Fine.

And how is he? Oh, he's

splendid, thank you. Splendid.

He decided he wanted to come over

here this afternoon, so here we are.

Sit down. Oh, thank you. You've been away.

For 90 days. Been doin' a job for

the state. Makin' license plates.

Oh, is that so?

Interesting work?

I can take it or leave it alone. Oh, I see.

I did a job for 'em last year

too. Helpin' 'em build a road.

Oh. Well, Mr. Meegles, we'll just

have to do something about your return.

Would you like to come to

my house for dinner tonight?

Oh, thanks, Mr. Dowd,

but I couldn't make it tonight.

Ah, tomorrow night?

Would that suit you?

Yes, yes! But you know,

the last time I was there...

I kinda got the impression your sister held

it against me because I did a little time.

Oh, no. My sister loves to

entertain. She's very social.

Yes, I see by the papers. You know

I never miss the society column.

You don't? No. She's giving

a clambake this afternoon.

This afternoon?

Yeah.

"Reception, program and tea,"

it says here,

"for the members of the Wednesday Afternoon

Forum," for that rich Mrs. "Shuvanut."

Cheva... Yes,

that's Aunt Ethel.

Is this today's paper?

Veta didn't tell me anything about

this. Must've slipped her mind.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow

night at 7:
00, Mr. Meegles, huh?

Thanks, Mr. Dowd. Very glad

to have seen you. Good-bye.

Harvey,

I just found out...

Now, what can I do for you?

What did you have in mind?

What's your order?

Two martinis.

Two martinis.

Harvey, it seems that Veta is

having a party this afternoon.

And l...

Hmm? Oh, you knew?

Well, I just thought she might

be offended if we weren't there.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote