Has Anybody Seen My Gal

"I do declare this my last will

and testament in the manner following:

First, I bequeath

to Mr and Mrs Charles Blaisdell..."

- You spell it with a double "L".

- Yes, I've got that.

"...of Hilverton, Vermont,

my entire estate, which consists of..."

Never mind that.

I know what it consists of.

- Mr Fulton...

- Yes?

- Dr Wallace is here.

- Well, show him in.

- Hello, Doctor.

- Hello, Norton.

- Well, Sam, how are we this morning?

- You look all right, but I'm sick as a dog.

You'd feel better with some fresh air.

Don't open that window!

You'll blow me out of bed!

That's one way of getting you out of bed.

You're murdering me!

Is that will ready for my signature?

- Yes, Mr Fulton.

- Will?

Just don't eat roughage, don't drink liquor,

don't smoke and don't worry...

...and you'll outlive all your heirs.

Are these Blaisdells relatives?

You know I haven't a relative in the world.

- Then why name them your heirs?

- Sheer gratitude.

Mrs Blaisdell's mother

was responsible for my fortune.

I was in love with her when I was young.

It never occurred to me

you could have been in love.

- It didn't, eh?

- Normal. Just as I thought.

What's this? One, two, three...

Eight? You're only supposed

to smoke one cigar a day.

I'm six months ahead of schedule.

This was taken in front of the Hilverton

Library. First time I ever saw her.

- Well, she looks healthy.

- She's quite lovely, if I may say so.

If you may say so? You'd better say so.

She was an absolute vision of loveliness.

- Then why didn't you marry her?

- I tried to, but she turned me down.

Turned me down for a bookkeeper,

a man earning $30 a week.

You're leaving your estate to this woman's

family because she turned you down?

Exactly. If Millicent had said yes, I would

have remained in Hilverton all my life...

...plodding along on $30 or $40 a week.

But she said no, so I left,

went to Alaska for gold, Texas for oil...

...and thereby built up my fortune

to what it is today.

- Didn't you ever see her again?

- Never.

She died a few years ago,

shortly after her husband passed on.

She left a daughter, Harriet,

married to a man named Charles Blaisdell.

Shouldn't you have a look

at this family first?

Are you suggesting that I, a sick man,

go to Hilverton and investigate them?

Why not? Shave off your beard -

no one would recognise you.

Splendid idea.

Why don't you go away for a while?

Indulge in some mental therapy

like... Collecting wild flowers.

You're a fine doctor! You ought to know

that I'm allergic to flowers.

Then painting or writing or bricklaying -

just take your mind off your affairs.

If she'd said yes,

her family could've been your family.

I've often thought of that.

What if these Blaisdells

turn out to be drunkards or spendthrifts?

Nonsense.

- Well, it's your money.

- You're darn tootin' it is.

Millie's children drunkards,

spendthrifts! Bah!

Bye.

- Are you ready to sign this?

- Don't rush me, don't rush me.

You're not named in this will.

Get out.

- 40 years ago. Seems like yesterday.

- What does?

I was just thinking that's the last time

I took a book out - 40 years ago.

40 years ago? Wow. At two cents a day

overdue charges, you owe them a fortune!

Goodbye, Debbie.

- How are you, Fred?

- Just fine, Miss Blaisdell, just fine.

- Blaisdell?

- Uh-huh. Millie Blaisdell.

# Five foot two, eyes of blue

But, oh, what those five feet can do...

- # Has anybody seen my gal?

- Hi, Millie.

Hi, Dan.

# Turned-up nose, turned-down hose,

Never had no other beaus...

# Has anybody seen my gal?

# Now, if you run into a five-foot-two

all covered with fur...

# Diamond rings and all those things,

Bet your life it isn't her...

# Oh, could she love, could she woo,

could she, could she, could she coo...

# Has anybody seen my gal?

- Come on, gramps, shake a leg.

- If I do, it'll be against your derrire.

- Nice going, gramps.

- Where's my soda, Dan?

Freddie wants a chocolate malt

with vanilla ice cream.

No, Dan, a vanilla malt

with chocolate ice cream.

- Hey, what's with my Black Cow, Dan?

- One at a time, one at a time!

- Mr Blaisdell.

- Yes, Dan, be with you in a minute.

- I hope she feels better, Tom

- Thanks, Charlie.

There are a couple of packages

to wrap, Millie. Yes, sir?

- Box of aspirin, please.

- Headache?

No, but if I stay in this madhouse long

I'll have one.

I don't like it either, but that soda fountain

makes more money than the whole store.

Blaisdell's Pharmacy?

Oh, hello, Harriet.

Yes, she's here. Yes, I'll tell her.

- Mother?

- She wants you home right away.

- Will do. Goodbye, Daddy.

- Bye, Millie.

- Huh?

- That'll be 15 cents.

15 cents?

I can get this in New York for 14 cents!

If you want to spend $11 fare to New York

to get that for 14 cents, it's fine with me.

I've gotta go, Dan. See you tonight?

You bet. Eight o'clock. There's a good...

Yes, sir?

- Double bromo.

- One double bromo.

- There's a good movie at the Strand.

- What is it?

Bessie Love and Tom Moore

in Anybody Here Seen Kelly?

- Oh, that'll be the cat's pyjamas!

- Bye, Millie. See you at eight.

Hey, Dan? Where's my soda?

One double bromo.

What is this?

- That's the best bromo I ever had.

- Thank you, sir.

- Hey, mister!

- Huh?

10 cents. A double bromo.

10 cents. Wasn't worth it.

I wish to put an advertisement

in the late edition.

Ma, the paper's here.

- When did you say Dan's coming over?

- Eight o'clock. We're going to the Strand.

Anybody Here Seen Kelly?

I'll get it.

- Good evening, young lady.

- Good evening.

- May I ask who you are?

- You may. I'm Roberta. Who are you?

I am Mr Smith. Mr John Smith.

The John Smith

who was in love with Pocahontas?

My dear young lady, do I look 300 years

old? Don't answer that question.

- May I see your mother?

- Yes?

- Oh, are you Mrs Blaisdell?

- I am.

- I've come in answer to your advert.

- Our what?

You advertised for a boarder. Said you

had a pleasant room and excellent food.

There must be some mistake.

There's no mistake. Is that the Courier?

I'll show you.

There it is, in black and white.

"Boarder wanted. Pleasant room and

excellent food, $8 a week. 302 Maple St."

- That's our address all right, but...

- Maybe Poppa did it for extra money.

Daddy wouldn't do that without telling us.

- If you'll show me to my room...

- I have no intention of taking in a boarder.

Then why did you advertise for one?

Don't you realise that to advertise falsely

is blatant misrepresentation...

...for which you can

be held accountable in court?

- I did not advertise.

- Perhaps it's a joke.

Laugh if you wish -

after you've shown me to my room.

But we have no room.

Nonsense. In a big house like this

there must be a room somewhere.

How about that room next to the attic, the

one Grandma lived in after Grandpa died?

Sounds enchanting. I'll take it.

If you'll kindly lead the way...

- I'll take you up.

- Really, Mr Smith...

I'll give you a week's payment in advance.

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