Hateship Loveship Page #2

terrible accident, right?

Terrible accident, right?

And then having her father go

and then having her father go

off to prison like that.

Off to prison like that.

Just...

Just...

It's none of my business.

It's none of my business.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll be home at 5:30.

I'll be home at 5:30.

Yes?

Yes?

My dad left this note for you

my dad left this note for you

in the letter he wrote me.

In the letter he wrote me.

Oh. Okay.

Thank you.

Stephen. S-t-e-p-h-e-n.

S-t-e-p-h-e-n.

Hateship, friendship, courtship,

hateship, friendship, courtship,

loveship, marriage, hateship...

loveship, marriage, hateship...

friendship!

Friendship!

Sh*t. It's friendship.

Sh*t. It's friendship.

This woman says she can reach

this woman says she can reach

orgasm just by shaking her leg.

Orgasm just by shaking her leg.

The only thing worse than

the only thing worse than

friendship is hateship.

Friendship is hateship.

Wait, this other woman

wait, this other woman

started masturbating when she

started masturbating when she

was 8 years old, rubbing up

was 8 years old, rubbing up

against some doll she slept

against some doll she slept

with.

With.

Do you think Stevie's ever

do you think Stevie's ever

had sex?

Had sex? I heard he screwed

I heard he screwed

Robin Simpson with his socks on.

Robin Simpson with his socks on.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

So, what do you think about?

So, what do you think about?

How do you do it?

How do you do it? Shut up.

Shut up.

What? It's totally normal.

What? It's totally normal.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, totally.

'Cause you're my best friend,

'cause you're my best friend,

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you.

My parents have a handheld

my parents have a handheld

shower in their bathroom, so

shower in their bathroom, so

whenever I'm alone in the

whenever I'm alone in the

house...

house... okay, thank you!

Okay, thank you! Tmi! No more.

Tmi! No more.

What? It's totally normal.

What? It's totally normal.

Everyone does it.

Everyone does it.

Totally normal.

Totally normal.

It is.

It is. Hold on a second!

Hold on a second!

Um, I don't know.

Um, I don't know.

Let me just...

let me just... get... get that.

Get... get that. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Just...

Just...

God, she's so annoying.

God, she's so annoying.

Do you think she heard?

Do you think she heard?

Come in!

Come in!

Go real hard

Go real hard

go hard, baby

Go hard, baby

you the best

You the best

the kings in the club like

the kings in the club like

we love chess

We love chess

my queens in the club 'cause

my queens in the club 'cause

I love chests

I love chests

I told grandpa I'd clean up

I told grandpa I'd clean up

later.

Later. Um, I need your father's

um, I need your father's

address.

Address. Why?

Why? I have a card for him.

I have a card for him. Why?

Why? I'm just responding to the

I'm just responding to the

note that he wrote me.

Note that he wrote me.

What you waiting for?

What you waiting for?

Drinkin' cocktails like...

Drinkin' cocktails like...

you know, I'm going right by

you know, I'm going right by

the post office.

The post office.

I can mail that for you.

I can mail that for you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, it's not a problem at

oh, it's not a problem at all.

All. I go right by there, so...

I go right by there, so...

There you go.

There you go.

Clubs and bars just for one

clubs and bars just for one

reason, tongue needing

Reason, tongue needing

coke and rum meetings, love

coke and rum meetings, love

squeezing, liquor by the

squeezing, liquor by the

bottle...

Bottle... see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. They buyin' drinks like

they buyin' drinks like

they buyin' minks

They buyin' minks

there's no time to dance

There's no time to dance

sex in the air, on the

sex in the air, on the

beach

Beach

what you waiting for?

What you waiting for?

Time to sip some more

Time to sip some more

did you have a good day?

Did you have a good day?

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Red margaritas

Red margaritas

f***ed-up senoritas

F***ed-up senoritas

oh, mama Mia

I waited for you to open it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

"Dear Mr. Ken gaudette, I just"

"dear Mr. Ken gaudette, I just

thought I would write and send"

thought I would write and send

my thanks to you for the nice

my thanks to you for the nice

things you said in your note, in

things you said in your note, in

which you included in your

"which you included in your

daughter's note..."

daughter's note..."

ever hear of grammar?

Ever hear of grammar?

"I'm grateful for you saying."

"I'm grateful for you saying

that since some people feel that"

that since some people feel that

a person like me that they do

a person like me that they do

not know the... the background

"not know the... the background

of is beyond the pale."

"Of is beyond the pale." What?

What? This doesn't make sense.

This doesn't make sense.

She capitalized "beyond the"

she capitalized "beyond the

pale."

Pale."

Isn't that... that means,

isn't that... that means,

like, the other side of the

like, the other side of the

tracks.

Tracks. Ah, ah.

Ah, ah.

"I was born in ames, but my."

"I was born in ames, but my

mother and my brother and me"

mother and my brother and me

moved to twin view heights when

"moved to twin view heights when

I was a girl."

"I was a girl." No.

No. Blah, blah.

Blah, blah. Pbht.

Pbht.

"Then I cared for Mrs. willits."

"Then I cared for Mrs. willits."

Blah, blah.

Blah, blah.

"I'm afraid I've bored you long.

Enough."

You can say that again.

You can say that again.

No kidding.

No kidding.

"Thank you for your good"

"thank you for your good

opinion and for taking me to the"

opinion and for taking me to the

restaurant.

Restaurant.

It was a pleasure to be

it was a pleasure to be

included.

"Included.

Your friend, johanna parry."

Your friend, johanna parry."

Say something about her

say something about her

beautiful hair.

Beautiful hair.

This has to be realistic.

This has to be realistic.

"I was so happy to see that you."

"I was so happy to see that you

underlined 'your friend.'"

underlined 'your friend.'

Someone like me, with a

someone like me, with a

checkered past, could use all

checkered past, could use all

the friends he can get.

The friends he can get.

Sometimes I think, 'who is my

sometimes I think, 'who is my

friend?'

"friend?'

Then comes your letter."

Then comes your letter."

That's boring.

That's boring.

Well, we can't just

well, we can't just

immediately write that he wants

immediately write that he wants

to suck her titties.

To suck her titties.

Okay, how about you say

okay, how about you say

something like, "you should wear"

something like, "you should wear

your hair back more often so the"

your hair back more often so the

world can see your pretty face"?

World can see your pretty face"?

How about that?

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