Head Office Page #2

Synopsis: Upon graduation from college with a business degree, John Issel is promptly hired by Helmes's company I.N.C. At INC, the one who gets ahead, does it by kissing ass, or over someone else's dead body. John keeps getting promotions, but cant figure out why. Actually management doesn't care about him, they hope that having hired him, his father, Senator Issel, will vote the way they like.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ken Finkleman
Production: HBO Video
 
IMDB:
5.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
0%
PG-13
Year:
1985
90 min
371 Views


about Stedman's loyalty, and, uh, he wants him

out by lunch. Look there. Art Grisham. Chairman,

Petradyne International. Oh, God. I love it up here! Dantley! Dantley! Get out! We have most INC management

women with us, Jane. We certainly hope

you're behind us. God, yes,

absolutely, 100%. We have to go in

united as women. Oh, I agree

absolutely. It's women 120%. United we stand. Divided we fall. Frank! Frank, this Latin American

move's really gonna shake things up. You know I'm ripe

for a division head. Just help me

make my move. I can't talk

about that now! Oh, over drinks

tonight, then. A drink, fine.

I'll need one later. Great, how's my place,

8:
00? They're going to dump me

over this Allenville stock deal. What are you

talking about? I'm dead!

Finished! Jesus, you're serious. Dead serious. We'll talk tonight

at your place. I might need your help. Damn it--I-I don't know

what's the matter with me. I-I've got racquetball

tonight and tomorrow night--

Racquetball? We'll have to reschedule. Call!

Racquetball? You can count on me! I can count on you? [sighs heavily] No one trusts me, Mike. Oh, Al, trust me.

They trust you. I'm too honest for them. You're not that honest. Everyone thinks

I'm an a**hole. No, not everyone. Name one person who hasn't

called me an a**hole. Just one!

Stedman. Stedman?

That a**hole! Name someone with clout! Al, pull yourself

together. Mike, don't sh*t me. Don't sh*t a dead man. You're looking

at an insect husk, a whacked-up,

burned-out body shell-- a dead person! Al, it's only Monday. You're talking like

it's already Friday. [sniffing] [helicopter engine noise] Scott Dantley. Colonel Frank Tolliver. Apollo 6, Apollo 16-- and now national sales rep

for Daisy Fresh Toilet Tissue. You've always been a hero, sir. Colonel Tolliver's

going to speak to the prayer breakfast

on God and space. So, uh, what would you say

are the, uh--the, uh-- slap! What are the implications

of the tests, Dr. Hirsch? [buzzing] I only have--

slap! You mean I only have

eight months to live? [buzzing]

Well, are you absolutely-- Is that a certainty?

slap! Okay, thank you. [buzzing] [phone dropping hard] slap! clunk! [loud buzzing] [panting] What the hell are you doing? (Frank)

Put it back! Put it all back down! Down, down, down, down! Down, down! All I know is

what's on the work order. Why are you doing this? Who told you to do this to me? Someone said the guy

who was in here died. Died? Died? Do I look dead, huh? What the hell do you mean,

"died"? Do I? Uh, not to me, sir. This is Jack Issel, sir. Out of my friggin' way! Morning, Frank. thud Jack Issel. Max Landsberger. How you doing? Hi. There's been

a slight screw-up. You won't be starting

with Stedman this morning. I thought I caught him

at a bad time. No problem. Lesson number one:

beware of the furniture movers. When the ax falls, they're

always the first to know. People see them coming,

and they sh*t. I thought Mr. Stedman

didn't seem too happy. Hell, no,

he just got fired. (Max)

Listen, I got you set up

in P.R. with Howard Gross. Gross is the kind of guy

who really knows how to handle the pressure. This is Howard Gross! I'm 35 years old! I'm the head of this division! I'm not the head of this

division because I'm a moron! I got the head of this division

because I-I-I'm not a moron! Listen, my neck is

on the line here. I'm the one

who's going to determine what is brilliant

or not brilliant! And I'm telling you it's crap! Look, I'm telling-- Listen, listen

to me for a second! I'm not trying

to sell panty hose! It's on my head! I got to convince them

that killing 100,000 jobs and closing down a plant

and moving it to Latin America is not unpatriotic! I got to sell this as being

patriotic as goddamn apple pie! If anybody up there sees this,

I'm going to die. They're going to kill me. [phone buzzing] I got--I got--

the phone's going here! I got to hold!

I got to put you on hold! 35 lines going here! 35 lines

and 35 people looking for me! Hang on for a second!

What? Mr. Yonge's on three. He's just seen the campaign.

He sounds upset. Tell him to hold! Mr. Rayback's on four. He's also seen the campaign. He also sounds upset. Tell Rayback to hold! Your wife's on five

from the hospital. Her father just passed away. Tell my wife to hold. Your mechanic's on six. He wants to talk to you

about your Mercedes. Hey, how you doing, Harv, yeah? Fine, no, I'm great. You guys--you guys are great. You guys are great.

Are you kidding? So is it going

to be ready or what? (Harv)

More than the oil leak-- I'm afraid we'll have to fix

the transmission--$2,500. No, no, no, just the oil.

I just wanted oil. We're talking

maybe $4,000 even. No, no, wait, wait, wait! No, no, I-I-I--you want to come

over and see my driveway? I got no oil in my driveway. What are you talking

about a leak? You guys know of any of this? You bring in car;

you put a little leak in it. The car's got a warranty. [frantic music] They're doing it. They're doing it. (man)

Hi, Frank. I got to see Dantley! He's on his way

to the prayer breakfast. Jesus Christ! You guys are gutless! You guys are--you guys

think you have a monopoly on the whole thing you've got

that dealership there? I bring it in at 15!

I bring it in at 25! I bring it in at 35

for a goddamn oil change! That's under warranty,

that transmission! I'm 35 years old,

a head of a division! I'm going to have

a heart attack trying to pay for this car! Lesson number two: never

volunteer, never confront, never talk to anyone

you can possibly avoid. Hello, Max.

Morning, Bob. Lousy thing

about Stedman. We're doing everything

in our power to save his neck. Let me show you where

your office is, Jack. Excuse me. Stedman's out. I want Xerox copies

of his personal files. Hudson, that's

your first job. Art, I want a list

of his contracts and Rolodex. Rich, I want

his underground parking spot. Get maintenance

to paint my name on it before somebody else

grabs it. Sir--

Anything else? You're late

for your prayer breakfast, sir. I think you've got God in space

this morning, sir. [all laugh] I believe in the Lord God,

mister. If more people

in this company had my faith, we'd not only be

the biggest; we'd also be the best. Amen, sir. Through business and industry-- [man coughing] the Lord God can once again

become a real force in America. American industry is

the cornerstone of moral order. spiritual vitality, and national defense. When I stepped

into your building this morning, I could feel

the spirit of the Lord flowing through these halls. thud! [breathing harshly] (Howard)

What do you want me to say? I've got 35 guys on hold;

I've got too many-- Look, what do you

want me to say? Your father is dead. There's no point in him

being in semi-private. He could be in Yankee Stadium! He doesn't have to be

in semi-private! The man is dead! Of course, the company's

got a policy! That doesn't mean

I'm going to cover for it! I've got 35 lines here!

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Ken Finkleman

Ken Finkleman is a Canadian television and film writer, producer and actor. Finkleman was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba. more…

All Ken Finkleman scripts | Ken Finkleman Scripts

1 fan

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Head Office" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/head_office_9737>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    Who played the character "James Bond" in "Casino Royale"?
    A Sean Connery
    B Roger Moore
    C Daniel Craig
    D Pierce Brosnan