Head Over Heels Page #2

And not in a good way.

Here.

Take mine.

I wore it once before anyway.

What are you going to wear?

I'll just take hers.

- Say what?

- She wants to try on your top. Give it.

What's going on here?

Hey. Did you know there are two guys

just waiting in the hall for you?

Only two?

The longer we wait, the more money they'll spend.

On dinner.

Okay, let's back it up, boys.

See if there's anything you like, Amanda.

Oh, no, no.

I'm not really interested in men right now.

Oh, but they seem like great guys.

Yeah, they all seem like great guys when they

know you're watching.

- You gotta learn to look past what they want you to see.

- Huh.

That guy right there--

Suit's Hugo Boss, but it's straight off the rack.

Tie's a Gucci knockoff,

and those shoes--

Girl, that's between him and Payless.

But check this guy.

See that bulge in hispants?

That's either a necklace box from Tiffany's or--

Oh, hell.

I'll take him either way.

So you pick relationships based on clothing and gifts.

No, we pick them based on personality.

- Now pick a guy so we can go.

- Oh, I don't think I can afford to go out with you guys.

Actually, I know that I can't.

We don't pay.

We're models.

What does someone like you do?

I'm a paintings conservator at the Met,

specializing in Renaissance art.

Oh.

Right now I'm restoring this one painting--

- Titian's Bacchanal.

- Yeah.

Uh, and-and one of the faces is blank,

and there's absolutely no historical

record of what it looked like,

so it's up to me to complete it.

Yeah, we should definitely talk more about that later.

Okay.

Hi, Candi with an "I."

Oh, hi, Mandy.

Facial-Flex?

Oh, no, I'm--

I'm good, thanks.

Wow. You have a really symmetrical nose.

Thank you.

So why aren't you going out with them?

Oh, I can't go out in public yet.

The agency made me get an operation.

My earlobes were uneven.

You know, Candi, some ofthe really great faces

aren't necessarily symmetrical.

Yeah, the beauty's often in the flaws.

You're an odd bird, you know that?

Wow. We have quite a view here.

Yeah.

- No way. It's him.

- What?

- It's who?

- That guy--

Mr. Fish Tank?

Oh, his name's Jim Winston.

But his head doesn 't normally look that big.

- It's the water that makes it look that way.

- How do you know?

Oh, I know alot about water.

Australia's an island, you know.

I mean, how do you know his name is Jim Winston?

Oh.

He's a fashion executive.

The girls tell me he's the hottest

young guy in the business.

So you want him, eh?

Why do you say that?

That look on your face.

I used to see it all the time when I'd catch me

Uncle Pete lookin' at me.

There's no look.

I was just shocked because I recognized someone.

Besides, I never go out with guys like that,

even if I were going out, which I'm not, so--

- You want me to find out where he works?

- No.

I just told you, I don't care

if I ever see him again.

Hamlet!

Get off her.

It's you.

Again.

Hamlet definitely seems to like you.

You mean, he doesn't just tackle anybody?

No.

He tackles everybody, but he only drools

on his favorites.

Well, I'm flattered.

You're funny.

Whoop!

Oh!

You really should have somebody take

a look at those knees.

You know, they've never done this before.

I'm gonna have to see a psychiatrist.

I mean, a leg doctor, because obviously

it's a leg problem.

At least let me buy you another latte.

Ah, no, thanks, Jim.

How do you know my name?

I don't remember introducing myself.

But you did, Jim. Remember?

I'm Amanda and that's Hamlet.

Jim, Amanda, Hamlet.

I think I'd remember a beautiful name like Amanda.

But you didn't.

Anyway, sorry.

I can't go out with you.

For coffee.

I didn't mean go out with you,

just go out with you for coffee.

Not even to replace this one,

Which I can't.

I got the runs. I mean, I gotta run.

Okay, gotta go.

Oh, God.

I got the runs?

So why didn't you have coffee with him?

Because that's what I would normally do.

What?

I'd have coffee with him,

I'd move in...

and find myself alone on a beach in Waikiki...

while he's off with the slut that runs

the pearl-diving concession.

Oh, yeah, it happened.

- Is that the new C.K. girl?

- Uh-huh.

- She's cute.

- You know, I heard they gave her 11 million dollars.

She looks 14, though.

Hello.

She's 12.

Question. If these guys are your dates, why do you

make them stand over there?

Have you ever spent an entire evening

with one of these guys?

It's all, "You're beautiful in that dress."

"You look beautiful in this light."

"Come marry me and be the queen of my country."

So Holly worked out the "You sit over there" system.

It works.

- You know, she turned down a full ride at Stanford.

- Yeah.

Really? Why'd you do that?

Sweetheart, look at me.

What do I need Stanford for?

Mm-hmm.

- That's $120. I don't--

- It's 1,200.

- Twelve hundred dollars?

- Relax.

Ladies, may I have the honor of taking you to dinner?

Thank you.

That's so sweet.

It's nothing.

If you say you're not interested in him,

why are you watching him?

I'm not.

Well, I am, but only to prove to you

that he has some huge flaw.

How do you know that?

Because I'm attracted to him.

What a cute little bunny.

Look.

Okay, there's the flaw.

He has a love child.

Who's that woman that just walked in?

He can't have a love child without a lover.

And that scumbag invited me out for coffee.

Then how do you explain the husband-looking guy

with the baby pouch?

A little menage a trois action. Yeah.

I bet they don't even know which one the father is.

Eww!

Ah, schoolgirls.

That's sweet.

Yeah. Seems sweet.

Unfortunately, what we're about to find out is

they're underage prostitutes...

dressedas Catholic girls.

See that?

He's giving them money.

I think the money's probably for all

those candy bars he's buying.

Those little whores are good.

They even bring the props.

Twenty-one!

Whoo!

Twenty-two!

Twenty-three.

Twenty-four.

Oh, 25!

Okay, pace yourself.

Twenty-six.

Oh-ho.

Stop it.

Now, I am looking very hard, okay,

and I can't see any flaws.

He's like Mr. Perfect.

A little too perfect, maybe?

Gay perfect?

He wears boxers, and there are no framed

portraits of his mother.

Trust me, that man is not gay.

I can't decide whether he looks better

with clothes on or off.

- These are great pictures, Jade.

- I know.

Let me see,

let me see-- Oh.

Candi, your eyes--

your whole face is beautiful.

- Why do they keep making you get work done?

- Bulk discount.

Look, Amanda, he's having a party.

It's the best time for you to talk to him.

Yeah, except that I'm not invited.

So what? We crash.

That's a really great way

to talk to someone--

getting turned away

from his party.

- Who would keep models away from a party?

- Hello.

Every man there is gonna be saying, "I wish

more models would show up at this party."

- No, thanks, anyway.

- Stop the pose.

You know you're into him.

I am not.

Um, excuse me?

Busted.

So? He just happens to have a Renaissance

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes