Head Over Heels Page #4

- We were in middle of wardrobe change.

- Was anybody else in the room?

I was in the room, yes.

Okay.

I think I've heard as much as I need.

Look, I don't think you're taking this very seriously.

Hey, to be honest, I don't believe any of this.

Bunch of bored models sitting around

sniffing a little nailpolish,

and then suddenly, bam, you think you see something.

Don't get all hysterical.

I'm stillgonna investigate it. It is myjob.

Nobody pays me $1,000 a day to sit on my duff

looking pretty.

Big surprise, Sparky.

You know, a serious crime has been committed,

and all you're doing is insulting me andmy friends.

I want your badge number.

Here it is.

That's if you can count this high.

Let's go.

Good evening, ladies.

Bye.

[DoorOpens]

- Hey.

- You guys just getting home? It's 7:00 in the morning.

- Yeah. The team had to fly to Atlanta.

- Yeah.

- So I guess Jim didn't do it.

- Why do you say that? Is it in the paper?

No. He's standing right there in his apartment.

What the--

No, I will not "buzz off" until you tell me why

Winston is still in his apartment.

Is he out on bail?

Do murderers usually get bail?

No, sometimes

we just release 'em for fun.

Look, no body, no crime.

Then how do you explain what I saw?

The woman, Megan O'Brien?

She tripped over a rug.

When you turned your back,

Mr. Winston picked her up.

- So he's not a killer.

- Actually, he seems like a great guy.

And this Megan woman, she's okay?

- I guess.

What do you mean you guess?

It's a yes-or-no question.

Look, we haven't talked to her yet.

She's out of town. We'll track her down.

When you talk to her, can you call me immediately?

This is very important to me.

Sure, Ms. Pierce.

I'll put your number in the precinct speed dial right now.

[Laughing]

Jackass.

Mmm?

Not one step further.

This place is filthy.

- Hey.

- Oh, Amanda, I was talking to my shrink this morning,

and she said that you were projecting.

What you thought you saw Jim do through the window...

was actually your own desire to kill all

your ex-boyfriends.

Why are you talking to your therapist about me?

She says I talk way too much about myself.

Amanda, we came down here because we decided you should

keep your date with Jim.

He's too cute to be a killer.

And you said the cops don't have anything on him, so--

Look, you guys, I appreciate the effort. Really, I do.

But guess what.

I am not going out with Mr. Psycho Killer, so go home.

- Please don't make them go home.

- Amanda, seriously.

- You really don't know what happened.

- That is not true.

- You guys didn't see what I saw.

- And you didn't see what we saw...

- when you were on the stairs with him.

- And what was that?

- That you're crazy sick in love.

- That is not true. I am 100% over him.

Yeah. That's why you spent the whole morning staring

at that drawing of his face.

So? Big deal. He has a good face.

And yeah, maybe there's some mysterious yet valid

explanation for what I saw.

But why should I go out with him when he's shaping up

to be a bigger liar than the rest?

So What?

All men lie. We know that.

Exactly. If you don't like what the police aren't doing,

start your own investigation.

- What are you--

- That way you can find out if he's nice or a slasher.

Or if he's lying about being married.

Don King fooled me on that one-- twice.

Look!

I don't care about him!

Amanda, ifyou don't sort this out,

you'll never have a good relationship

for the rest of your life.

You'll end up a pathetic, lonely old woman...

who makes her co-workers watch videos of her

cat's lame-ass birthday parties.

You say what you want about me, tramp,

but don't you go bad-mouthing Jane-cat!

Enough! Everyone shut up and listen to me!

All of you, young and old, gay and straight.

I'm a-gonna have red beans for dinner!

- And especially the deaf!

- Hmm?

I don't care about him.

I don't care about the baby-sitting or his eyes...

or the fact that he can do a zillion "pully-uppy"

things on that bar.

And I don't care about his sexy grin...

or the fact that he can make me laugh even when

his dog is trying to hump me.

And I really don't care...

that I fall asleep every night dreaming about him.

Because I am not crazy!

I saw him kill that girl, and I know it.

[Sobbing]

I'm a-gonna have red beans for dinner.

- Gladys!

- What?

I only caught about every fifth word, but that girl

is head over heels.

- I am not!

Look, fine. I will investigate him.

I will stalk his ass just to prove there is

something seriously off with this guy...

and all of you are just too stupid to see it.

Can I help you?

We were in apartment 403

last night, and we want to be...

discreet, you understand?

We left some clothes.

She means to say our...

black, French-cut

crotchless panties.

And the rest of the props from our act.

So you will help us, no?

Sure. I'll trade you his key for that dress.

Whoo!

Mitch, you are a nasty boy!

Look, don't blame me.

I didn 't break the elevator.

Mandy!

[ Gasping ]

Sorry.

What exactly are we looking for?

Evidence.

Anything that may indicate he's a cold-blooded killer.

Look. It's him with his grandparents.

That is very cute.

Look at him.

Hello. Hi. Girl who has a date with a potential

murderer in four days.

Could we get back to work, please?

Jim might be home any minute.

Relax. We called his office.

He's gonna be in a meeting all day.

Yeah, and Holly's waiting for a

phone call, so she's keeping lookout.

Yeah, I'm 17.

Uh-huh.

Year I was born?

- Look at this.

- What is it?

Dirty laundry. He's got a whole pile just

sitting on a chair in his bedroom.

- So?

- I hate that.

Look. It has a blood stain on it.

That's why I brought it out.

He didn't presoak.

That baby's set for life.

This is going into evidence.

Oh, yeah, good.

Now make love to the shirt. Good!

Love the shirt.

Make love to the shirt.

Now hate it. It hates you.

- Bad shirt!

There's a yellow stain right next to it.

It's probably--

It's ketchup.

That's amazing.

She's a bleedin' Sherlock Holmes.

Amanda, If you find 20-dollar bill on the floor

of somebody else's apartment,

is that the same as finding it on the street?

- No.

- Then I haven't found anything.

Oh, yes, you have.

Where did you find that? It's a box of knives.

- Not just knives. Daggers.

- Yeah.

Cheese daggers.

This gouda's not bad.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, sh*t!

Where the hell are they?

Hey, hey, hey!

What do I do? What do I do?

Oh, God!

- What are you all doing?

- This is where she fell.

- Couldn't the police be right?

What the hell was that?

A kiwi!

Oh!

What is she doing?

Charades?

I love charades.

Okay.

Sounds like--

No.

No props in charades.

No props and no clothes.

Uncle Pete's rules.

EW!

Okay, Candi.

No more stories from the dark farm.

Pretty please?

Hey.

What?

Jim's in the hallway?

- Everybody, hide!

I was here first.

You shh! Shh!

- Shut up!

Vince, it's me.

Yeah. Yeah, the breakfast meeting went well.

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