Headspace Page #5

you speak English?

To perfection!

- Where did you learn?

- High school.

- You went to high school?

- Till eighth grade.

Go on.

Stop.

- Was it good?

- Fine.

I think you'd better keep that.

Aldo can't speak English,

but he has a good accent.

Paris traffic is bad,

but so is New York's.

"I speak fluent English. "

- Fluent!

- I do!

- We get to choose?

- Of course!

You're heartwarming

in that skirt. It suits you well.

- Do you have a magazine?

- Right away, sir.

You're overdoing it.

My glasses.

One second.

Fluent!

- Where were we?

- We stopped there.

Relax, Charlot.

Next job in English...

...we send Jacques and Aldo.

- It went fine.

- We'll see in a little while.

I've seen some

good-looking broads.

"Ate Daze"?

Not listed.

Nothing.

Jacques said

it was all here.

No "Ate Daze,"

no "Wick. "

I'll take care of it.

Let's sit down.

- What'd you say?

- I asked if we could wait.

You're sure you said that?

I'm sure.

We're waiting, aren't we?

Fine.

How's my hat?

My hat.

The hat's fine,

but the rest...

Y'know, you really

are heartwarming.

- Oh, hello.

- It's gloomy up here.

Downstairs is gay and lively,

but here it's gloomy.

You're right.

Would you like a drink?

- Champagne!

- I'll get it for you.

I make 71,000 francs

a month.

- Interesting!

- Belgian francs.

You're Belgian?

I work soil and beasts.

- You work what?

- Soil and beasts.

- I'm an agricult!

- Agriculturist.

I'd like five glasses

of champagne.

- All for you?

- For a small celebration.

Where are the men

who fly the plane?

The pilots?

Over there.

Over there?

We can't go see them?

No visitors allowed

because of the hijackings.

The fifth glass.

Better be safe than sorry!

With all these imbeciles...

Anything can happen.

So they're over there, you say.

- Aren't they bored?

- Who gets these?

I'll show you.

Make sure no one

hijacks the champagne!

- What is it?

- A passenger's treat.

Evening, Captain.

Thanks for your help.

Don't you panic.

We're used to it.

- So are we. Altitude?

- 8,000.

Go up to 12,000

and keep circling to the left.

Contact the president

of the airline's insurance company.

He has an urgent appointment...

...with Mr. Smith

and Mr. Wesson.

You speak French?

Great!

Put that away!

Well, now...

...we've just heard

that one of the planes you insure...

...a 747, to be exact,

has been hijacked.

It so happens,

quite by incidentally...

...that we specialize

in rescuing such planes.

Two what?

- Two million.

- In what?

Dollars, naturally.

- 10% of what?

- Of the price of the plane.

What if, unfortunately,

they were to blow it up?

you'd owe the airline.

And you want

these two million in cash.

Naturally.

- And at once.

- Yes, that, too!

And where do I find

that much at this hour?

That's your problem.

You're the insurer!

This lady next to me

kept pestering me.

"How do they fly at night

and not get lost?"

I said we'd ask the captain.

So he told her,

because I already knew.

He said,

"See the little green light...

...on the tip of the left wing?

And you see

the little red light...

...on the tip of the right wing?

Well, we just fly between them!"

Suppose I accept?

Then it's all arranged.

Don't worry.

An hour from now,

if we're not followed...

...we'll phone you a password

to transmit to the pilot.

And the plane will go beddy-bye

in New York tonight.

"Ginette's striptease

isn't as good as Julie's. "

Perfect!

And now please,

turn off your radio.

Say nothing

and take me to Montreal.

If you like, you can then go

beddy-bye in New York.

Are we rich?

We're rich, you know.

How'll you spend it?

I can't believe...

I was a car thief,

and now I've got billions!

Millions!

Maybe I don't have the build...

...but I have a right to dream...

...to have lofty thoughts

sometimes.

I always love

other men's wives.

- How do you get rid of them?

- Get rid of them?

It's easy.

You tell them to go,

and they go?

Once I tell them, that's it.

I can't fall in love.

I can't.

Do you know

how much a girl costs?

We've got money now!

You never know

what can happen.

You've got to stay focused!

He's going to hurt somebody!

Lunge, Lino!

Good.

Ad out! Ad out.

Be courteous, gentlemen,

or I'll stop the match.

Carrying anything?

A little. 38, why?

I've got a fun job.

Here?

The casino cash-box

leaves in 10 minutes.

There'll be a driver and a guard.

Let's have some fun.

Just us two?

Maybe our friend

needs a laugh, too.

Doing all right?

"Our nature must

always come out. "

What're you talking about?

What was the point

of starting a new career?

You're going

to blow off our vacation...

...for a lousy $20,000!

It's not for money,

it's to have some fun!

To kill time, Simon!

Can't you just relax

and do nothing?

There goes

our society of leisure!

- You call this fun?

- You're challenging the whole theory!

Take Aldo and Charlot.

They're enjoying themselves.

Yours, mademoiselle?

Want to knock over

the casino cash-box?

F*** you! We're on vacation!

Let me pick up the girl!

Sure, this is how

we'll pick up girls!

Look at that fool!

Looks like a train starting.

That's walking!

- Come on, you too!

- Who walks like that?

I always walk like that

for the girls.

Watch the way I move.

Not like that, Simon!

- The leg like that.

- Smoother!

You have to see it

to believe it!

That really does

something for you!

Terrific!

That's how you pick up girls.

- He's riding a bike!

- Style and class!

- Not like that!

- Yes, like that!

I taught him!

I'll show you.

- Italian-style!

- Not like that!

Like this!

Smooth!

Simon, watch!

Let yourself go!

Lino, how do you

want the pasta?

- What'd he say?

- Tomato sauce.

Show me where we are.

We're there.

- Where are we going?

- There, to Haknan-Hwahwa.

Is there an airport?

At Haknan-Hwahwa?

A small one.

So, to Hakna-whatever.

Aldo, the dog and I

will take the plane.

Because I can't stand

any more vacation!

But why stop

at Haknan-Hwahwa?

Just look at

what's become of us!

And look at him!

He's sick!

No, no!

Paris, Paris, Paris!

Lino, the tanning lotion!

Charlot, give me a hand!

You must've caught a whale!

Easy!

You nut, I was sunbathing!

A Michelin 42/12.

A Michelin 42/12,

a very good snow-tire!

- You've had too much sun!

- It's not the sun. I know tires.

Why did we rent a sailboat?

If we had a boat with a motor...

...there'd be five girls here.

Why a boat with sails?

What's that?

A friend of mine,

a leftwinger...

...runs a summer holiday camp.

He gives suntanning lessons.

He told me

there's a triangle right there...

...that nobody thinks about.

Jacques, ever study suntanning?

When do we turn in the boat?

Are you being funny?

I told you, Paris!

Aldo! The girls!

What'd I tell you

about those girls?

- What'd I tell you?

- "Something's fishy. "

And here we are...

going where?

I know one thing:

They're not cops.

It's not the way

they do things!

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