Heaven Can Wait Page #9

There you go again.

It's the 25th of October.

Many happy returns.

Thank you, Martha...

but it's something much more important

than my birthday.

It's our anniversary.

Ten years ago today, I was almost

as much in love with you as I am right now.

It's very difficult for a woman to send

her husband away on their 10th anniversary...

especially when he speaks

as beautifully as you do.

But I must do it.

All right, darling.

I know it's all over.

I'm sure you'll find someone else

who will be... really worthy of you.

But let's pretend...

just for a minute.

Happy anniversary.

Do you like it?

I'd say it cost at least $10,000.

For that money,

it's a very good purchase.

Why, Martha,

how can you talk like that?

If you'd only forgotten

to give me this bracelet...

I probably would have been foolish enough

to be in your arms right now.

You've no idea

what a mistake you made.

The magician

played one trick too many.

The other day I was having

a new photograph made ofJackie and me.

I wanted to have it the right size

to fit into your wallet.

So I slipped into your room.

This fell out of your wallet.

And I don't ever remember having received

any bracelet from you on or about May 2.

Oh, so that's what it's all about.

And to think that you went through all this

just because the jeweler made a mistake.

And that what the whole thing is - a mistake.

Naturally, I didn't buy a bracelet for $500.

Has Cartier ever made a mistake

in any of our bills before?

Darling, I love you. I think you're the most

beautiful, adorable thing in all the world.

Do you really believe there's any woman

good enough to take me away from you?

And if there were such a woman, do you think

she'd be worth only a $500 bracelet?

- Henry, I -

- Darling, I'll make you a bet.

If Cartier doesn't admit that

this whole thing is a terrible mistake -

- Then you won't buy there anymore.

- Henry, it won't work.

- Grandpa!

- Martha, my darling.

Come on, come on.

Let's get started. Let's pack.

- Grandpa, what do you mean?

- Naturally, you're going back with us to New York.

What are you standing there for?

You're making a pretty bad job of it.

Come on, sweep her off her feet,

or we'll miss the next train.

- If I can't make her happy, then I don't want her to come back.

- Yeah, that's better.

- No, I mean this seriously.

- That's why it's good.

Look, Martha, let's face it.

- You want a divorce.

- I see no other way.

- What aboutJackie?

- Naturally, I want him.

I think you're right.

I think he should get away from me.

- I didn't mean it that way.

- But I did.

I adore the boy, and therefore

I think he shouldn't be with me.

Well, I don't think a child

should be deprived of his father.

Do you want him to grow up

to be another Henry Van Cleve...

and on his 36th birthday make his wife

as unhappy as I've made you?

- Are the rest of your things in the closet?

- Yes.

For instance, do you know

what our littleJackie did the other day?

- What?

- He bought some ice cream for a little girl.

What's wrong about that?

I think it's charming.

But the girl he bought the ice cream for

was not the girl he should have bought it for.

- It wasn't?

- No.

Little devil.

And when the one little girl

found out that the other girl -

Well, that boy got himself

into such a mess.

Oh, if I only could have been there.

You should have seen our littleJackie

trying to get himself out of that situation.

- Did he?

- Yes.

Little girl likes him better than before.

Good. What a child.

- Believe me, he is a problem.

- I suppose so.

But when he makes up his little stories -

And you know they're just little stories,

but he wants you to believe them so badly...

that you wish you could...

and finally what can you do but -

Happy anniversary.

I'm still too confused.

I've got to collect myself.

- Give her time to make up her mind.

- She can do that on the train.

- But what am I going to say to my parents?

- Send 'em a telegram.

- Sneak out of the house in the middle of the night?

- Exactly.

- Like burglars?

- Like thieves.

- We did it once before.

- Why shouldn't we do it again?

- How many people are lucky enough to have the thrill of eloping twice in one marriage?

- That's it! That's it!

- How many women love their husbands enough to forgive them and start all over again?

- Good! Good!

And how many men love their wives enough to lie

and say they're guilty when they've done nothing?

- Careful, Henry, careful.

- At least nothing that amounts to very much.

I wouldn't go any further into that.

We'd better get started.

I'll see if the coast is clear.

- Jasper. Jasper?

- Yes?

- Everything ready?

- Yes, sir. Right out in front.

All my life I've wanted

to run away with a woman.

- Jasper, it's happening!

- Thank you, sir.

All right, come on.

- Bye, Jasper.

- Good-bye, Miss Martha. Good-bye.

Albert!

Come!

And so, farewell, dear E.F. Strable!

We'll take Martha!

You keep Mabel!

Yippee!

Then one birthday began following another...

faster and faster.

Each year there were

more and more candles...

and less and less-

Yes, I became 45.

Then came 46...

47...

and I stopped counting.

On one of these birthdays...

Martha and I, just the two of us,

went to the Follies.

I'm the sheikh

Of Araby

Yes, indeed, he's the sheikh of Araby

Your love belongs to me

We're in love

We're in love, as you can see

At night, when you're asleep

Late at night

when the moon is shining bright

Into your tent I'll creep

I'll be creepin' when we are asleep

The stars that shine above

Way up high in the sky up above

Will light our way to love

Will light our way to love

You'll rule this land with me

Oh, how happy we will always be

The sheikh of Araby

Suddenly I noticed...

a very attractive girl

coming down the staircase.

To me she was

just another attractive girl...

but, I must admit, attractive.

Anyway, a few weeks later...

I happened to fiind out

that her name was Peggy Nash...

and I happened to hear things about her

which made me very eager to meet Miss Nash.

- Yes?

- A Mr. Jones to see you.

I'll be out in a minute.

- Will you come in, please, Mr. Jones?

- Thank you.

- Miss Nash will be with you in just a minute.

- Thank you.

- How do you do, Mr. Jones?

- How do you do, Miss Nash?

- Won't you sit down?

- Thank you.

Thank you so much

for those beautiful, beautiful roses.

When I saw you the other evening at the Follies

coming down that stairway, I said to myself-

"That's the girl of my dreams"?

Uh, that's right.

- You see, Miss Nash -

- Call me Peggy.

Well, this is delightful.

- Hello, Peggy.

- Hello, Jonesy.

Well, Jonesy, let me tell you,

that note that came with your flowers -

- You liked it?

- Who wouldn't?

It was so full of charm.

It was so sweet.

It had all the quaintness

of bygone days.

Really?

Yes. You know, men don't

write that way anymore.

Why are there so few of you left?

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