Heaven Can Wait Page #2

my body back.

Where's my body?

Oh, dear.

Cremated. I see.

I'm starting against Dallas

on Sunday.

The body you occupied

on Earth has been cremated.

Uncremate me! You must be able

to do something right.

Do the words "not being a good sport"

mean anything to you?

We can put you

into another man's body,

provided his death

has not yet been discovered.

Are you kidding? Put me

into the body of another man?

I just got my body back in shape.

Joe, the only way you can return to

life is in the body of another man.

I shall have to take charge

of this case personally.

Incredibly graceful. He's about

your age and in perfect condition.

He's too short.

He'd never see over the line.

You know what kind of shape you gotta

be in to get to the Super Bowl?

Yes, Joe. I understand.

- He's not talking English.

- I told you he was German.

Hey, you talk any English?

We can't be seen or heard, Joe.

Well, I don't want to talk German.

- I gotta call plays in English.

- Joe, if you could not so much lower

but broaden your standards.

We've seen many bodies

and the choices are becoming limited.

- Julia, I beg of you.

- I want a drink.

- There's plenty...

- I've got to have a drink.

Mr Farnsworth loathes

cold cucumber soup.

Hey, this is some house.

Who lives here?

Leo Farnsworth,

a man of enormous power.

...later this afternoon.

Thank you, Sisk.

Just leave the door open

as you leave, Sisk.

Thank you very much.

The more servants who see us,

the better.

- You're kidding?

- That's not Farnsworth.

- Give me a drink.

- No.

Who are they?

His wife and confidential secretary.

You hate me.

- Don't be ridiculous. I love you.

- I want a drink! Tony...

It would be better

if you didn't drink.

How long will it be

before they find him?

I don't know, darling. Not long.

- I'm glad we did it.

- We couldn't help it.

It would be better

if you'd try not to unravel now.

Thank you, Julia.

- Is Farnsworth dead yet?

- Not yet.

What's the matter with him?

He can't keep his eyes open.

He's been drugged by those two

downstairs. This is a murder.

You see how he's slowly

sliding into the water?

Hey, somebody, get...!

Hey, get a doctor.

There's a guy...

Get a doctor. You got a guy

drowning in the bathtub.

- You left a pot on the carpet.

- I can't hold everything at once.

Mrs Farnsworth would kill you,

if she saw that.

Hey, somebody! You got, uh...

- Give me a drink!

- Please.

- Don't go overboard.

- Look, everyone wanted him dead.

I should be canonised!

Perhaps one drink.

- Where can he be?

- I'm sorry.

What harm can that do him?

He deserves to be dead.

They didn't? No kidding?

They're murderers.

- What's going on?

- I'm sorry, sir. It's Miss Logan,

- to see Mr Farnsworth.

- Show her in.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, my God...

No. It's the perfect alibi.

She insists on seeing him.

Let's find another body.

A servant will find him.

Excuse yourself and keep Sisk

with you at all times...

Let's get out of here.

Miss Logan, sir.

Oh, Miss Logan. I'm Tony Abbott.

This is the library.

That's Mrs Farnsworth.

Hello. I'm going

into the living room.

- Want to come, Sisk?

- Oh, certainly, madam.

I'm Mr Farnsworth's personal

and private executive secretary.

I didn't know whether you knew that.

- I'm sorry he's not down yet.

- That's all right. I'll wait.

- Would you take a seat?

- No, thank you.

Perhaps you'd like

to tell me what it's about.

Mr Farnsworth has been sent

hundreds of letters

from Pagglesham in England.

The people who live there -

1,600, including my father -

are to be evicted from their homes

to make way for the proposed

Exo-Grey refinery.

Hundreds of families

will be forced to find other homes.

The few who remain

will have their health endangered

by poisoning of their air and water,

the evidence for which I have here,

along with a petition signed

by the 1,673 citizens of that area.

This is what I'm here

to see Mr Farnsworth about.

Mr Farnsworth conducts business

at his office.

I've been to his office.

He refused to see me.

I seriously doubt he'd see you here.

He'll have to, I'm not leaving.

I'm sorry?

I'm not leaving.

I've come 8,000 miles

to do something

about a terrible injustice

that this man has perpetrated

on hundreds of defenceless people.

- Somebody ought to help her.

- You can help her.

You can be Farnsworth.

If Mr Farnsworth doesn't see me,

I don't know what I'll do.

Is that a threat?

Yes.

I'd like to help

but not as Farnsworth.

The decision is yours.

You give me no choice, Sisk!

If I had to be Farnsworth,

could we do it temporary?

Yes.

We could arrange that if you wish it.

Sisk, please tell Mr Farnsworth Miss

Logan is here and refuses to leave.

Yes, sir.

If you really want to help her,

you'd better hurry.

- Well, it's only temporary, right?

- That's correct.

Only Farnsworth can help her.

Once the body's discovered,

it'll be too late.

Hey.

That's me.

I haven't changed.

It's just me.

Mr Farnsworth?

Now what do we do?

Are you there, sir?

I'll never get away with this.

What will we do now?

Are you all right?

- Answer him.

- People can hear me now?

- Of course.

- But he knows the other guy's voice.

Mr Farnsworth,

is everything all right?

Answer him.

Will you take it easy?

I'll be out in a minute.

Very good, sir.

It works.

Of course. You haven't changed.

You're still Joe Pendleton.

That's what you and I see.

But outwardly, you're Leo Farnsworth,

and that's what everyone else sees.

Miss Betty Logan is downstairs, sir.

She insists on seeing you.

Will you dress?

Oh, sure, sure.

Very good, sir.

You mean I sound like this guy,

no matter what I talk like?

I beg your pardon, Mr Farnsworth?

You see?

Well...

Julia, Julia, please, please, dear.

- Please, dear, not now. Not now.

- I want a sip.

You're sorry you have me, aren't you?

You wish he were alive.

- Julia, please.

- Why don't you say it's not true?

- You didn't say it's not true.

- It's not true.

- Say it again.

- Darling, it's not true.

I don't hate you. I love you.

- There, sir.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Your helmet, sir.

Your polo helmet, sir.

Oh, thanks. Thanks. Do I play polo?

- Oh, not really, sir.

- Sir?

Thank you. Thank you.

- This Logan girl is a godsend.

- What's taking so long?

Pretend you're reading.

- All right.

- You go up.

Miss Logan, sir.

Hi. How you doing?

I'm not leaving until you've

heard what I have to say.

Uh, oh, yeah. Well, good.

Mr Farnsworth, you've been sent

hundreds of letters from Pagglesham.

- I know about that.

- Have you read the letters?

Well... Er...

- Well, no.

- No. I suspected as much.

That's why I've flown over here.

I and the 1,673 people I represent

and whose names are on this petition

will not have their futures

determined by bureaucrats

at the beck and call

of certain industrialists

for whom the elderly and children

are just figures in a ledger.

- Do I make myself clear?

- Yeah, but...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes