Heinrich Page #4

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they didn't lack any obelisks, triumphal arches, decorations,

illuminations, fireworks and aerial balls and cannonades

on the contrary

but none of those efforts

reminded one of the principal idea.

the intention to distract the people's minds

through a nauseating series of pleasures

was predominating

and if the Government had the impudence

to oblige a man of honour to attend,

through the mts de cocagne, the jeux de caroussels,

the thatres forains, the escamoteurs, the danseurs de corde,

to be reminded of the gods' sacred gifts

of freedom and peace,

this would be more insulting

than to hit him in his face with a fist.

c'est bon, la fte, la libert,

regagner de la paix

nous allons vous interprter pour la dernire fois

l'histoire difiante de notre grand Consul

Napolon Bonaparte

la France est enfin enceinte

Ajaccio, une jeune femme ???

et qui sert de ???

met au monde un bel enfant

qui reoit le nom de Napolon

dj l'enfant Napolon est trois personnes

orgeilleux et rvolt

il ne daigne s'associer aux jeux de ses compagnons

que pour ordonner de batailles

la ville de Toulons est occupe par les Anglais

la jeune Rpublique Franaise est en danger

Bonaparte, jeune officier

prend le commandement de l'artillerie

et investit Toulons

il n'a que 24 ans, il est nomm Gnral de Brigade

venu de si lointain

une belle Crole

un produit de Barnabass ???

elle ??? la vie de notre grand soldat

c'est Josphine de Beauharnais

vos papiers, Messieurs

c'est mon frre

son nom est inscrit sur le papier

about Heinrich's and my stay in Paris

I can't say anything but

that we were staying at La Place

and that I accompanied him in male attire

nobody in Paris except the blind flute player

recognized my female sex

and addressed me as Madame

vour jouez comme un dieu

vous tes un veritable artiste,

Monsieur

merci, Madame

c'est pas une dame

c'est un Monsieur

c'est une dame.

I'm as good as a man

there's no great thing in the world

Ulrike wouldn't be capable of

[letter to Adolfine von Werdeck, 29 July 1801]

a noble, wise, generous girl

the soul of a hero

in a woman's body

and I would have no part of all this

if I didn't feel this intensely.

but a person can possess much,

give much

still, one cannot always, as Goethe says,

rest at his bosom.

she's a girl who writes and acts

orthographically,

plays and thinks according to measure,

a being who has nothing feminine

but the hips,

and she never felt

how sweet a handshake can be.

there is no being in the world

I honour as much as my sister,

but what mistake did nature commit

by forming a being who is neither man nor woman,

and like an amphibian

is tossed between the species.

what is remarkable in this creature

is the conflict between the will and the force.

but let's keep silent about it,

it almost sounds like an admonishment,

and even the slightest remark

sounds too bitter for a being

who has no fault but this one:

to be too great for her sex.

Heinrich

if you were a man

then I could talk to you

couldn't you pretend that I am a man?

c'est bien, la maison est pleine

s'il vous plat, vous venez la voir,

c'est celle l-bas

sometimes I walk through the city with open eyes

and see a lot that is ridiculous

[letter to Adolfine von Werdeck, 29 July 1801]

and even more disgusting

and from time to time something beautiful

I walk the long, narrow streets,

covered with excrement and dust,

passing the narrow but high buildings

carrying six floors, as if multiplying space

I wriggle through a crowd of people

who scream, run, push and turn each other,

without taking offense

on my way back I pass through the Palais Royal

where one can meet all Paris

with all its gruesome pleasures

here, every sensual need

can be satisfied to a nauseating degree

every virtue is mocked with abandon

all infamies are committed as if on principle

then it's evening

and I feel a burning desire

to get away from all this

from all those roofs and chimneys

and from all those disgusting things

and to see nothing but the sky all around

but is there a place in this city

where one doesn't see them?

vive la Nation

# vive la vie

# vive l'amour

my dear little Ulrike,

I am worried when I think of your lonely voyage

[letter to Ulrike, 16 Dec. 1801]

perhaps you're writing to me at this moment

that you forgive me everything

because it's your unconquered virtue,

I know, Ulrike,

how unhappy this voyage had to end

which never gave you much pleasure

depuis le temps que tu passes par ici,

regarde, qu'est-ce que c'est que a

et a, qu'est-ce que c'est que a?

- veux-tu me donner le journal que te le demande?

- je ne te donnerais pas, de toute faon, je ne l'ai pas

is he dead?

yes

did Heinrich write?

yes

from Paris?

yes, but he isn't there anymore

he wants to become a farmer

and you a farmer's wife?

yes, that's what he writes

do you want that?

ah

oh you whom I still love above all

[letter to Pfuel, 1 Jan. 1805]

how we flew into each other's arms a year ago

how the world opened up for us,

unlimited

like a race course, trembling

with the desire for the contest on our minds

and now we lie on top of each other

our glances reaching out to the race's finish

which never seemed so brilliant to us

as now

wrapped in the dust of our fall

that you're here!

and I have nothing further to say to you?

[letter to Lohse, 29 Dec. 1801]

ah yes, there is something

but don't worry,

you shall never hear me complain

I want to say farewell to you,

for ever

and while doing this I feel so peaceful

and full of love, like in an hour close to death

I ask for your forgiveness

I know that there is guilt upon my soul too

not an ugly one

but one, this one,

that I didn't honour your goodness according to its dignity

because it wasn't the best

oh forgive me

it's my foolish exalted character

who can never enjoy what's there,

but only what's not there

don't say that God shall pardon me

you pardon me,

it will suit you divinely

I forgive you everything

oh, everything

I don't love you?

how could you ever convince another

that I don't love you!

what else have we been looking for,

on our beautiful path!

wasn't it repose before the passion?

why did it have to be you? why you?

everything in the world was so indifferent to me

even the highest things, so indifferent

how could it happen,

that often I sat down and occupied myself with nonentities

as if my life were at stake

oh, it's disgusting, disgusting

again I feel so bitter, so hostile, so ugly

and yet, you could have enticed all the noble notes

from the instrument which you just tore apart

you know ...

what the old men do

after they have been courting for riches

and lucrative posts for 50 years

they settle down onto a hearth

and cultivate a field

tell me

couldn't one be wiser

and go earlier to that place

where in the end one is bound to go

but that's what we're doing right now

among the Persian magicians

there was a religious law

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