Helen Page #4

Isn't that worth fighting for?

Helen? Isn't it?

Julie's better off without me.

This is insane.

I'm taking you home.

I'm not going.

You don't know what you're saying.

Okay, let's go.

No! I'm not coming with you!

Let go of her.

Let go of her!

-Get out of my way.

-No!

Who the f*** do you think

you are, huh?

You really think I'll let you

get away with this?!

You're f***ing nuts! Huh?

I want you to go!

God, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

What makes her so special, hmm?

She doesn't ask me how I feel. . .

She knows.

You know, you're right.

I don't have a clue how you feel.

I don't even dare to imagine.

But I know how I feel.

You're my life, Helen.

Without you and JuIie,

the world means nothing to me.

And nothing is going

to change that -- ever.

I hope you'll remember that one day.

lf l had no place to fall

And l needed to

Oh, could l count on you

To lay me down?

Let's get out of here.

l'll never tell you no lies

l don't believe it's wise

You've got pretty eyes

Oh, won't you spin me 'round?

l ain't much of a lover, it's true

l'm here, and l'm gone

And l'm forever blue

Oh, but l'm sure. . .

Whose house is this?

It's my house.

The sky's full of silver and gold

Try and hide the sun

Oh, but it can't be done

At least not for long

Are you cold?

No.

Good. Let's go for a walk.

While the light of day

Shines down our way

You're not going to make it

go away, you know.

Oh, then we can't go wrong

I never said I would.

Oh, but time,

she's a fast old train

She's here, and she's gone

And she won't come again

Oh, won't you take my hand?

lf l had no place to fall

And l needed to

Oh, could l count on you

She was sick for as long

as l can remember.

To lay me down?

Then one morning she got up,

and she made breakfast.

And after she cleared the table

and sent me to my room,

she hung herself.

And she left her eight-year-old

daughter with that goddamn house.

So what do you think?

Should I keep it?

Or should I insure it really well

and pay someone to burn it down?

I want you to know me, Helen.

I've never wanted that from anybody.

Helen!

Helen?

Death comes so close.

And with such promise.

Nice hit, Julie!

Good job, Julie.

Thanks.

Hey, you.

That was beautiful.

How are you?

Did something happen to Mom?

No, no, no, sweetie.

That's not --

That's not why I'm here. I'm sorry.

Come here. Come here.

Oh, God, I miss you.

Oh!

I wanted to visit her

in the hospital.

But Dad didn't think

that was a good idea.

He is such a wuss!

Did you just call him a wuss?

Yes, I did.

You think we'll ever be

together again?

Like we used to be?

Straight answer?

Straight answer.

I don't know.

We may not.

But I hope so, you know.

l reaIIy do.

Do you know where she is?

Julie?

Are you Mathilda?

I was-- I'm looking for my Mom.

Is she here?

Helen?

Leave me alone, please.

Mom?

My poor darling.

I'm sorry I left, Mom.

No. . . no.

Don't say that.

No, darling,

I'm the one who's sorry.

I am so sorry.

My dear child.

No matter how long the journey

or how deep the descent. . .

. . .in the end, all it takes

is one last step.

One step. . .

Between me and madness.

Between pain and nothing.

One single small step.

What I do remember

is a sense that reaIity is thin.

I think it is thin, you know.

Thin as lake ice after a thaw.

And we fill our lives with noise

and light and motion

to hide that thinness

from ourselves.

How's it going?

Good.

I. . . .

Do we know each other?

Absolutely not.

You'd like to change that?

Helen.

Stop!

Ow!

Stop!

Mathilda?

Jesus.

What are you doing here?

Well, you weren't at the hospital.

No, no. Tomorrow.

l thought you were

getting out tomorrow, no?

No, today.

I was gonna pick you up.

I know.

I -- I thought --

I thought -- I thought it was --

I thought it was tomorrow.

What am I doing?

Hi.

Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

The day's all mixed up.

I'm sorry about the mess.

I was gonna get it

all fixed up for you.

It was a stupid idea, I guess.

F*** it.

You want a drink?

Let me get you a drink.

Don't look at me like that.

I see you met Macho.

Yeah. Where did you get him?

I found him.

Look, Helen.

I, um -- I'm really sorry.

I thought it was tomorrow, I did.

Did I wake you?

Bad dreams.

They say that's normaI.

They'll go away after a while.

So now that you have this new life,

what are you going to do with it?

I don't want a new life.

I miss my old one too much.

l don't know if there's

anything left of it, though.

You'll find out, I guess.

Mathilda.

What are you doing?

I'm not like you, Helen.

I get -- I get tired

of turning down the volume

all the time.

Sometimes I just -- I want to hear

the music loud and clear,

do you know what I mean?

I wish I did.

David Leonard's office, please.

Do you know where he works now?

Thank you.

Hey! How was your appointment?

Fine.

Listen, I'm gonna run out

for some groceries.

I'll be back soon.

All right. Thank you very much.

See you.

You look good.

You always were a lousy liar, David.

You look terrible.

But. . . you look good.

Different.

It was hell.

I lost part of my memory,

and l don't know if it's aII

ever going to come back.

I'm still on medication,

but that's no guarantee

that l won't reIapse.

And I am constantly terrified

of the idea. . .

And I hate myself for it.

I hate myself for what I've done

to Julie and you.

I hate this illness.

Sometimes l stiII feeI

like I can't take it anymore.

But I am grateful to be alive.

Come home, Helen.

I'll never be the same.

Maybe. . .

But you'll always be the one.

Hi, Macho.

No, stay, stay.

Oh, my God!

Mathilda?

There's no air.

Oh! Come here!

It's okay.

You want to go back, don't you?

I'm trying to remember who I was.

I miss my family.

I miss my daughter.

Yeah.

I understand that.

We can't hide out here forever.

I know.

But I don't want to leave you,

Mathilda.

Never.

You know that, don't you?

I know.

I'm sorry I scared you.

Mathilda?

Mathilda!

Hey.

What are you doing up here?

Thinking.

About what?

Just. . . stuff.

Oh, Jesus.

Why's it so f***ing cold?

I'm f***ing freezing.

Come on, let's go back inside.

No.

Let's just sit here

for a little while, okay?

Just for a little while.

How can I say good-bye to you?

Huh?

-It's cold. I'm really cold.

-Let's go downstairs.

I'm so relieved, you know?

Everything's gonna be okay.

Yes.

I am right here.

I know.

But you don't belong here, Helen.

Come on, let's go. You're cold.

-I'll get him.

-Okay.

Macho!

l was prepared to fight.

l wasn't prepared to lose.

Macho!

Come here! Come here!

Macho!

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