Hell Ride Page #2

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You know... I'm talking about Four B's.

Bikes, Beer, Booty and Big Bucks, man!

That's actually f***ing 5 B's. Right there.

Listen, there's a lot of dough to be had out there.

All right? Deuce. the Six-Six-Six'ers.

They're the f***ing future.

Pistolero... He's the ou

All I know.

Is I'd battle Satan for Pistol.

A little f***ing redundant don't you think?

- You know what? F*** you.

F*** you.

F*** me?

Hey, f*** both you guys man.

I'm headed in there right now

And f***ing wrestling those b*tches.

Hey! Ape sh*t!

Well, f*** it. If I have to help him

I have to help that sweet little Devil.

Come on

text 242

Come on in.

Oh man.

- Sh*t.

Hey, hey!

- Yeah

That was some good sh*t.

- You see me...

Where's all them oily pussies at anyway man?

The oily bird gets the worm.

Meet me at Tuscon tomorrow, at 6 o'clock.

Dani's Inferno.

Ladies are not welcome, except on Ladies' Night.

I got a sit-down with the Sixers.

Well...

The f***ing Sixers ain't here.

This better not be one long f***ing ride

for nothing, man.

Well, I gotta take a piss.

Where's your head?

Well, the Ladies' room is closed,

'cept for Ladies' Night.

Now you got a .38

pointed at your head.

You give me your colors, you little pisser.

Or there's gonna be one unvictorious Victor.

What are you gonna do...

With these eight other little pissers, when I don't.

Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wine 'em and dine 'em.

I'm gonna, show 'em Paris.

You oughta see how I'm gonna buy them off.

You know.

You have to accept the fact that...

The Brotherhood of Bikers is bullshit.

The Three B's:
Bikers, Brotherhood, Bullshit.

You ever do anything but yak?

You half-witty piss-poor shitwit nitwit?

Take us, to the f***ing Sixers!

Sure thing, man.

Come on. No probleme.

How long do you have that bike.

Since 1976.

Follow me if you can!

He's f***ing with us man!

Relax.

I know this desert like the back of my hand.

You just keep me in sight.

This guy's a f***ing clown.

Listen to me, we catch that old motherf***er?

Let's whack that Indian motherf***er too.

We don't need him no more.

And I know who's side I'm on. The Deuce.

F***ing copasetic by me.

I'm with you man.

The Deuce. The Six-Six-Sixers. Billy Wings!

Ladies you shouldn't ride Indians.

Except on Ladies' Night.

Now...

Put your balls on ice.

Get some info out of him first.

Before we send him to the

happy hunting grounds.

muttering

I hope you got insurance old man.

Be cool sonny boy.

Greetings from Pistolero.

Hehe

Noone said nothing to me about

Nobody pissing on my boots.

And I'm gonna tell Johnny Pissed-Off

That I'm lots more pissed off than him.

Comanche,

Meet Eddie Zero.

Now give me hand with this.

'Cause I got things to go and places to do.

Come on.

Perfect.

Don't say that.

The day that it's perfect,

Is your last day on Earth.

Hell is gonna get a hell of a lot worse.

I think I finally found Cherokee Kisum's boy.

The ones who killed Cherokee Kisum...

Killed St. Louie too.

The Gent.

- That's me.

Pistolero would like to chat

with you and Comanche.

Well thanks for the latest breaking

news there, Wolf Blitzer

Dani's Inferno at 6 o'clock.

Stay off the main highways

The Sixers are cruising around.

Listen, it's dangerous as hell out here.

How are you doing - weaponry-wise?

What are you some kind of...

Bike-to-bike salesman?

I'm Eddie Zero, man...

I thought Eddie Zero got killed in a

big rig crash in '86.

Yeah... I wish.

Well them him, Pistolero...

That I need to have a chat with him

Before the other chat.

About this a**hole habit of him.

Concealing sh*t from me.

Tell him your-f***ing-self, man.

My p*ssy's on fire.

Your thoughtfulness has given me the burning rush.

I'd like to have the fire marshal arrive on the scene.

Extinguish the fire, Mr. Fire Chief.

How about we get that firehose out?

Fire drill...

Fire-buck me.

First the Fire Chief takes a ride into the desert

Then I put out the fire.

What kind of Fire Department is this?

Fire-resistant.

-Fire-retardent if you ask me.

You ain't the only fire truck in town you know.

Maybe I'll go fire insurance.

That kind of talk won't get you anywhere with me.

I'm fire-proof.

Did you bring the Peyote?

I got some thinking to do.

Here's a little reading material.

That's a lot of trees, baby.

Six hundred and sixty-six pages.

Maybe when I get back...

Your fire boy might just do a little

professional fire-eating.

Now you're talking Mr. Fire Boy.

I know you'll keep your word, baby.

Safekeep the treasure. For my boy.

Portable Pistolero!

Your a**hole behaviour looks good all written down.

It's extential, but sexy.

It's sexistential!

And it's not just the Peyote talking.

Lets get the fireworks started.

I got to be moving on.

It's done. Finito.

Do whatever you want with it when I'm dead.

It's your annuity.

I want you to drop those pants.

Sit back and relax.

And watch my tongue fight fire with fire.

Can we have a little fire-side chat

after you're done tongueing me?

How's about we have a little fire-side chat

while I'm tongueing you?

We'll kill two birds with one tongue?

Are you 86'ing me?

You're not a p*ssy-eater.

You never ate my p*ssy. Not once.

Why, all of a sudden?

Nobody dumps me.

I'm the one that does the 86'ing!

You f***ing need to get that Cherokee Kisum out of your gut.

Once and for all!

Oh!

Jesus!

Puta Madre!

Bury me near St. Louie.

At the cactus flower.

Safekeep the treasure. For the boy.

Can I get you anything Deuce?

text 389

You must be The Gent?

What tipped you off?

The outfit?

I'm known as Dani around these parts.

I'm a friend of Pistolero's

Is that a fact?

Kind of a dangerous thing to be nowadays isn't it?

What's your pleasure?

Booze-wise?

What's your nationality?

Born in the US of A.

I'm part Irish, part Italian, ..

text 402

I must say, God bless America.

And Goddammit, I'll have an American beer.

You got it.

What a country.

Thank you. What should we drink to?

Christopher Columbus!

- To Amerigo Vespucci.

Hey!

Why'd you fly the coup?

That wasn't part of the f***ing plan.

We were supposed to talk to Pistolero together.

After... He got done f***ing.

It'd be a whole lot easier to explain if

you didn't have that gun pointed at my face.

My life used to be a...

Bike & Booty epic.

Because of you and Pistolero it's turned into a whopper.

Of a Chopper Opera.

Well, if you'd like

I could turn your life into an Operetta.

Why'd you hit me with that bottle.

How many of these do you got?

Just one.

And I just used it up.

Yes, you did son.

Order a beer.

Well, what do you got?

- What do you want?

Around here, we drink...

American beer!

American it is then.

I want to make a suggestion where you

can stick all your sticks.

Nobody's gonna stop you.

- What the f***!

Implementing a plan to safe the day?!

All you've been doing is running around

collecting girls' phone numbers.

Come on, f***er!

Go easy.

Apache uprising.

Medicine woman saved my life after she almost killed me.

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