Heller in Pink Tights Page #2

he can deliver the third right quick.

Get ready the money

you're going to owe him for the job.

I sure wouldn't mind

some of what he's gonna get.

You will never be a businessman, Goober.

You part with money much too easily.

To owe is one thing, to pay is quite another.

Giddap.

What's he mean by that?

I ain't sure, but I'm glad I ain't Mabry.

You look lovely, honey.

Lorna, aren't you two ready yet?

- Yes, Tom.

- You're holding up the rehearsal, baby.

You know, you still look pretty good.

Honey, get ready.

We're rehearsing. Come on. Music.

I fear you not and laugh at your anger.

For I have proved my courage in battle.

- A vile seducer outrages...

- What's that?

- What's what?

- What did he just say?

"A vile seducer. "

That's what I thought he said.

What kind of a show

are you giving here, anyway?

This is a comic opera, Mr. Pierce.

La Belle Hlne.

You know, the story of Helen of Troy?

It's one of our big, big successes.

You see, in this I play Paris.

He's a son of the king of Troy, and he's...

- The handsomest man in the world.

- Him?

- Yes.

- Of course, I wear heavy makeup.

What part do you play?

I play Hlne. The most beautiful woman.

That I can believe.

And this is my husband.

- You married?

- No. In the play.

But I'm not in love with my husband.

I am, how do you say, flighty?

And besides, he is much older than I am.

Always wanting me to behave myself

and to do what he thinks is good for me.

But I'm young and very beautiful,

and do only what I enjoy.

Nope. It won't go in Cheyenne.

- No?

- But this is a classic, Mr. Pierce.

What's so classy about her running around

with you instead of her husband?

But he is so much nicer,

and he lets me do what I want.

Last month, the mayor's wife started

running around with a young stud like him...

and the mayor shot him stone dead.

There wasn't a man in town...

that didn't shake his hand for doing it,

even the sheriff.

No, Healy, you can't get away with

making fun out of marriage in Cheyenne.

But it's all right to kill people in Cheyenne?

Mr. Pierce, why don't you wait

until you see the show...

with the pretty costumes

and the orchestra playing...

And the customers leaving?

Chew up a little scenery...

that's what they want around here:

Blood and thunder.

If all you got is this fiddle-faddle,

you can pack up and keep going.

I don't want you.

You're losing your charm, baby.

Well, Doc?

All right, we'll rehearse later.

Tom?

- Hi, Angie. Look.

- What?

That's what goes here in Cheyenne,

cheap acrobats.

Since we can't do La Belle Hlne,

we should do...

Mazeppa.

That has a lot of blood and thunder,

and a man on a wild horse.

- You mean a dummy filled with straw.

- The horse is real.

But they see real horses out here

all the time.

We should do Mazeppa...

but I'll do the ride.

- You play a man?

- I play a man.

- Come on, it's dangerous.

- Why?

They'd have to tie you on the horse,

he might throw you.

- We would be a big success.

- Not if you were hurt.

You worry too much.

About me, about the show...

Somebody has to worry.

You know, the wolves are at our door.

We don't satisfy Pierce, we don't eat.

We'll eat the wolves.

Pierce is a big fool.

- But he owns the theater.

- He should own a stable.

You should own this theater.

It should be the Healy Theater.

The Healy Company and the Healy Theater.

That's a lot of Healy.

You'd put on all the best plays.

You'd be very successful.

- And what would you be?

- The star.

And people would come all the way

from San Francisco to see me do...

the wild horse ride from Mazeppa.

Tom, I was just trying to help, you know.

That helps.

You know, Angie,

I've been knocking around for a long time.

It'd be nice to settle down...

and maybe you and me...

Tom, you're getting too serious now.

Well, now, you...

You come out here

and you say you want to help.

You know how I feel.

A little help here, a little help there...

and right away we are married.

Look, you haven't been asked yet.

Why are you so angry?

Because I tell you the truth?

Listen, you do so much for me.

No one has ever done so much.

- And now that I want to help you...

- Look, you want to help?

- Of course I do.

- Go and put on a kimono.

You get me so mixed up,

I don't know which one to put on.

The red one.

Sometimes I don't know what you want.

I want everything.

You want too much.

Angie, why don't you go

and get some sleep?

We have a big day tomorrow,

trying to decide what to do.

You might have to start practicing

on that horse.

Love and honor unite around my wishes.

Still, the extraordinary emotion

of Olinska haunt me...

her disturbed looks,

her eyes moist with tears.

For what is her hand without her heart?

Who art thou?

Thy rival.

What is thy will, thou brash intruder?

- Thy death.

- Coward.

If our arms were equal...

They are so. Behold, I wear no armor.

Aim at my heart.

It has now no defense but courage.

And this good sword.

Have at thee now.

I yield.

- I am revenged.

- Guard.

Great Heavens! The Palatine assassinated.

My rival.

Vengeance!

You shall obtain it,

and whoever the murderer may prove...

it will be terrible.

That is my assassin.

Remove the mantle that conceals the wretch.

No.

Mazeppa, Prince of Tartary!

Kill him!

No!

Stand back! Back, Olinska.

He shall suffer the penalty

inflicted on rebel slaves.

Bring forth the fiery, untamed horse.

Tie that vile Tartar on his back

and turn him loose.

Strip him of his clothes.

Then, let the murderer

be borne through sands...

and rocks and wilds...

till thirst and hunger, and scorching suns...

kill him piecemeal!

Where is the fiery, untamed steed?

Oh, my father!

Pardon for him who loves your daughter!

Unworthy girl. All the power on earth

cannot assuage my vengeance!

Dearest father.

- Dearest child, thou canst do nothing.

- In mercy, hear me.

Plead not for me, Olinska. Perish as I may...

it is sufficient glory that I die for thee!

Now launch the traitor forth!

And let the story of his fate

strike terror throughout Poland!

Down!

Angie, are you all right?

You were more scared than I was.

I was scared for the horse.

Listen to them. They like it.

Like it? They love it! Come on, let's go!

Look, everybody. Change quick.

We'll start the second act in 10 minutes.

There they are.

It's Hodges.

Thought you got away, didn't you?

Slap that plaster on them, Sheriff.

- Stop that woman.

- Sorry, I got a writ of attachment.

- It's not legal here.

- It's legal, all right.

I got it right here in Cheyenne.

- Will you please go and change?

- No, you're not getting out of my sight.

They're just going to the hotel, Mr. Hodges.

Now, Angie.

Excuse me.

A man claims you actors ordered a load

of dresses and skipped without paying.

- They ain't actors, they're crooks.

- What are you?

If I'd come to your room,

you would've given me the dresses free.

Mr. Pierce, thank goodness you are here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes