Hellphone Page #2

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met anyone prettier. "

No, that's not it.

Your eyes are rubies

lighting my nights.

Unless her eyes are brown.

I can't remember.

Have you been to Italy?

No?

Neither have I.

Angie, you're hot.

You're too hot. I'm hard.

Thinking of you gets me hard.

You're hot.

Hello?

Sid?

Angie? How long

have you been on the line?

In fact... rubies are red...

As for Italy...

I wasn't talking to you...

I take Swedish experimental

class theater.

I mean theater class.

Experimental porn?

No. Swedish.

- It's Swedish.

- Is it?

Invite me to the opening.

No.

I mean yes. Okay.

Why did you call?

No reason. Just to say hi.

Okay. So hi.

Hi.

Okay, so bye.

How embarrassing.

Dialed Numbers

Margot.

You're still here? You'll be late!

So long, honey.

I'm in Math.

I'll call you later.

So so sorry

Screw U!

My cell was in my bag.

I never touched it.

So she called you.

- It was a Dialed Number.

- So your cell dialed it alone?

I'm too hot!

- But it called Angie.

- You hit the wrong button.

- I don't know her number.

- Lay off the chicken.

- Soupir!

- Yes?

Zero for talking.

Lower your average a bit.

But...

Bastard.

Stand up.

I asked you a question.

You heard it, I assume.

Sure.

And the answer is...

e to 1 minus 3x

over 1 plus e to minus 3x.

I said... no calculators.

I don't have one, I swear!

Pass that up.

They do advanced math now?

I'm sick of these cell phones.

I warned you.

That's illegal!

Two hours detention.

Six hours in one week!

See? You're finally

getting good at Math.

I brought your chalk back.

Sorry!

Give me that.

He's crazy. Is it trashed?

- Not a scratch.

- Can I see?

It showed the answer.

Maybe someone sent it by SMS.

Not them.

Their six IQs combined is 2.

How about a weekend in Venice?

Why not? I love Italians.

Someone's making fun of us.

Happy Birthday, Sid

Hello, ma'am. Is Pierre in?

Bonjour, Servus, hello, Sid.

He's in his Zimmer,

in his room, in the chambre.

Yeah, here I am!

I thought you had no cours,

no Schule,

no class this morning.

We have to go to the library.

To work on our Physics.

Thank you, Sid.

What would he do without you?

Beats me.

I pray for you and your mom.

Save it for my report card.

See you later!

Strudel!

- It knew it was your birthday?

- God knows how...

Get rid of it, Sid.

Take it back. Trade it in.

No way.

This phone is special.

Hitler was special too.

I'll give you 30 euros

to throw it away.

It gave me a free number,

called Angie alone,

answered in Math,

and wished me "Happy Birthday. "

That's what scares me.

Hand it over.

It's Sid's birthday today.

Six hours of detention totally sucks.

Can you help us out?

Please?

I was freaking.

I was up all night.

Hello?

Mr. Tamalet's office.

Principal's Office

Miss Fleury!

I can't hang up!

Hello. This is Sid Soupir.

Hello, Mr. Tamalet.

No, it's Sid Soupir.

I recognized you, Mr. Tamalet.

She thinks I'm Tamalet.

Vanessa, listen up.

I decided to cancel

the boys' detention.

Yes, sir. I'll call downstairs.

Anything else?

Yes, I decided to change

the cafeteria menu.

From now on, McDonald's Party!

Big Macs, fries and Coke for lunch.

Real Coke.

- You mean for the students?

- That's right!

And...

stop wearing underwear!

- This is so wild!

- You're telling me?

- Come on...

- Where to?

This is Aladdin's lamp!

What are you doing?

In case we only have 3 wishes.

Hey phone, can you organize

a little trip for me?

Cut it out!

Calling A Travel Experience

Go for Hawaii!

Mr. Mazeau?

Chewbacca.

Squirrel.

Hamster.

Raccoon.

Guinea pig.

It was a pig from New Guinea.

It was...

a Guinea pig.

You're dynamite!

Come back...

Chinchilla alert!

They destroy eggs

by dropping them to the floor.

Anything else?

Aladdin would kill

for these sandals.

Yo bro,

we're the kings of the world!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Go on, swallow...

Go on.

It's so good.

This is so good!

Again.

- I need to ask a favor.

- Whatever you want.

Tomorrow I'm seeing

my dad and his twat.

Can I use your phone

to get my parents to make up?

No.

What?

- I need it.

- What for?

I don't know. To try stuff.

I get it.

No, Tiger!

I know it sounds weird...

but I think I should stay with it.

It's like it chose me.

Don't stare like that.

It's my cell, bro.

Okay, take it.

Thanks.

Anti-Redhead Activated

It really is in love with you.

Are you crazy?

I told you.

It's all mine.

- How are you?

- Okay...

D'Harcourt,

say hi to mom.

A**holes!

Very funny, guys...

Let me go!

Close your eyes.

It's PG-13.

Help! Her Macintosh iPod!

Help us!

Sh*t! Get moving, guys!

My bag!

Wait! My bag!

- You okay?

- Careful!

Go on, get them!

Beat their faces in!

Follow me!

I know the way!

- There they are!

- Bastards!

They're dead meat!

We've got them!

Hello, Sid! Hello, Sid!

- You did tai-chi?

- Catechism.

- Choirboy?

- I'm a lousy singer.

She's crazy!

They stole her iPod.

- Arrest them.

- Let me go!

Thanks.

This belongs to me.

Get going.

And keep her on a leash.

I wish.

You're some skateboarder!

Actually I forgot a lot.

What can I do to thank you?

Nothing, honestly.

I do this every day.

If you're free,

we can go have dinner.

Sorry...

I need to study for the History test.

I haven't begun.

Want the topic?

Why do guys

always show off with me?

I'm not Virgil.

Come with me.

- Virgil is the phone's 2nd victim.

- So?

Throw it away! In the garbage.

Or drown it.

Finito, terminada, kaputt.

And the History topic?

It's going too far.

Tiger, relax.

It's not like anyone's dead.

Call Fouque.

Go on, angel.

Think about it, Sid.

This is serious.

- Hello?

- Mr. Fouque?

Is that you, Soupir?

He recognized you.

He hears you! Hang up!

Can I have the topic

for tomorrow's test?

Of course, Soupir.

"The French Empire

from the 1850's to 1960".

Thanks, sir.

Colonization?

The bastard said

not to study that!

Is that all?

No, I have an idea.

Out with it, boy.

Really? You think so?

I'll think about it.

- It's awesome!

- Do we give it another chance?

- What about the victims?

- They asked for it.

We have a bald bimbo

and a one-armed bully.

Get rid of that cell phone!

For my birthday,

a Mexican porn movie!

Let me go!

Hitting on my babe?

She's not yours.

I'll tell you once, Soupir.

Forget about her.

Dream on!

What's happening?

Did you just hit puberty?

- Hair starting to grow?

- I'm not scared.

Sh*t.

Hold on, don't move.

I'll help you, okay?

Virgil!

You're playing with your life.

You hear?

Feeling better?

I'll make you sorry.

Hurt you real bad.

Sid, don't!

Go right ahead. Be my guest.

No, Sid!

- He busted my car and my arm.

- How will you jerk off?

I have no idea what happened!

Strike.

No, Sid!

Hellll-o, Virg...

Are you retarded or what?

You know what, guys?

Sid promised Angie

the topic for tomorrow's test.

You know the topic

and don't tell your friends?

He hates the new color

of your car.

Touch him again

and you'll regret it.

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