Hemso Page #2

- So you say it works?

- What kind of a talk is that?

Let's say your pecker is called

Jabbar.

- Which pecker?

- That one.

Just pretend. Let's say

you take one of these.

Your Jabbar turns into

Kareem Abduljabbar.

- How much is this?

- This box...

...with 20 pills...

It costs 200 USD.

Whoa! Whoa!

- Are you trying to stuff me?

- When you take on of these...

- ... you're going to stuff people.

- You're sure?

- Yes.

- If it's that effective, here.

Buy one more if you have

another 200.

Let's give it a try first.

- Have a fine day.

- Get lost!

Hey, partner!

Is your head OK?

I'm sorry mate. I couldn't help you.

I had an urgent business.

Shut up! You let me down!

I don't talk to guys like you!

You're insulting me.

You don't know me.

I'm a fine guy.

I'm cool.

- Where are you from?

- None of your business.

Hey, partner. Just wait.

Why do you get upset? I only

asked where you're from.

- What do you want?

- What could I possibly want?

avu, we lost the charge unit,

could you fetch us one.

- Don't worry. I'll bring you one.

- Make it cheap.

Wait, brother. Who are you?

What are you doing?

I'm looking for someone.

A debt business.

- What sort of a debt?

- I'm here to settle the account.

That's easy.

- Is it?

- Of course it is.

We're the best in collecting

the money owed.

Come with me. You don't talk

such things in the street.

- Hold on there!

- Come. I know such things.

Partner, this place is where mostly

the indebted come.

They come here for relief.

Maybe your man is here too.

It could be that guy.

He isn't. None of them is. How many

places have we been to?

You're too hasty. This is Istanbul.

You can't find a debtor that easy.

Be patient. For instance,

look at that sucker in the back.

Are you pulling my leg? How are you

supposed to find anyone like this?

- I'll find him on my own.

- Sit. Where do you think you're going?

You saved my life, do you think

I'd let you go that easy?

You'll be my guest tonight.

We'll wine and dine.

Come on. It will happen this time,

you'll see.

Let go. It should've happened

a million times by now.

I'm telling you, it's going to happen.

You see these miracle pills...

...it will happen thanks to them.

Let's just wait for it to effect.

It's time already.

Hamit, my man.

- Thanks partner.

- Don't mention it.

I left my vallet at home.

Next time you are on me.

Money comes and goes.

It's just a piece of paper.

- What is it?

- A piece of paper.

You talk like a book. Next time

remind me to write it down.

- If only we'd found the guy.

- Don't worry, we will.

- How much does he owe you?

- Very much.

- Where are we going?

- To my place.

I owe you. Let's go to my place,

you'll have a shower.

And we'll get up early

and find that infidel.

Repent! It's evil

to call someone infidel.

Alright, then we'll find

a believer.

- Stop it! It doesn't work.

- It will, it has to.

What do you mean

"It doesn't work. "

You'll see.

This is our mansion.

- avu! Is that you?

- Yes, honey! I'm home.

- That's my popsy-wopsy.

- Your what?

- My lover.

- I should leave then.

Stay. Sit down.

You're no stranger.

Whoa, partner!

You've wandered off.

This is my lover, Tatiana.

Tatiana, come.

And this is...

What was your name?

- Cebrail.

- I'm helping Cebrail...

- to collect his money.

- You're into trouble again.

What trouble? I'll just help him

get his money.

- I should go now.

- Stop talking about leaving.

We'll get up early in the morning

and find that scoundrel.

I have to go.

- How much do you charge?

- You both?

- Yes.

- 200$.

That's too much. Just a minute

How much Turkish Lira is 200$?

That's a lot but never mind, come.

That's too much, we work hard

for the money. We're workers.

- We have 100 million. Would that do?

- Alright then.

Calm down partner.

I'm just covering you.

- Thanks.

- Have a nice sleep.

Come here, you animal.

Stop! For heavens sake!

What's with you?

Tell me the truth. You sold

Hamit those pills, right?

- Kiss my corpse if you lie!

- Why? I'm not a necrophile.

- They were fake, right?

- You think I'd give him real ones?

How could I taste you then, ha?

- Brother Hamit?

- Yes?

Can I have the keys of the car. I'm

going to park it in the backstreet.

Here you are. What's this outfit?

All in red.

Are you a joker or taxi driver.

Get a hair cut.

- I will, brother.

- Don't answer back. Move!

Takoz! Take the empy glasses.

Greetings folks! And as a promotion,

my regards!

Your family's smuggler avu

is at your service.

Oh, pops!

Are you still alive?

Many kisses.

Look at that nose!

- Oh, brother Hamit.

- What's up avu? Are you OK?

- You look like you just got laid.

- Yes, bro. You see it instantly.

I've found a chick. You can't imagine

how horny she is.

Just ask her if she'd

take it on with me once.

Of course she would.

Do you think she'd prefer Clinton?

Such a strong, mighty,

handsome guy.

Has your willy

become Kareem Abduljabbar?

Keep it down!

Everyone's going to hear it.

There's your dupe.

You rip him off, don't you?

Brother, shame on you. Leave my dupe

alone, take care of your Jabbar.

- Wellcome partner.

- Greetings.

Come, sit down.

Why did you leave so early?

There's this Fevzi, my mother's

relative. I was looking for him.

What did your mother's relative

Fevzi say to you?

I've looked for him but in vain.

You keep telling me...

that you'll find the guy

but you're just doing sh*t.

I gave you my word.

I will surely find him.

First have a coffee.

There's no need to hurry.

Takoz, two medium coffee. You drink

medium, don't you? Anyway.

Hi folks.

What's up?

Hi. Sit down.

Your fantasy girl walks around

again in a fantastic way.

- Is she here?

- Yes.

- Is there a problem avu?

- No, everything is fine.

- Who's the guy?

- He's here to settle an account.

- Just give me that.

- The jacket?

- What are you going to do?

- Never mind. The dicky bow too.

- What are you up to?

- Don't bother. Take care of my friend.

- Don't worry.

- Will be back in a minute.

What would you like to drink?

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

While you're seated, would you

like to eat our special?

- What kind of special?

- It's in the kitchen.

- I could show it to you personally.

- Right now.

- Goodbye waiter.

- Goodbye.

Where have you been?

What did you do?

What do you think? I just knocked

her off and got the money.

- With someone else' wife?

- Yes.

Partner! Hey!

- Why are you so pissed off?

- It's a disgrace.

- What is?

- Why do you cheat on Tatiana?

It's against the code.

- avu!

- What's up Arab?

You bad hat!

How dare you to swindle me?

What kind of a girl did you sell me?

You said she was a virgin?

What are you talking about?

She wasn't a virgin?!

I swear she was virgin,

no man did touch her.

Many doctors and engineers wanted

her but I didn't give her away.

- Don't lie! She wasn't a virgin.

- That's not possible.

Don't bullshit me. You said

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