Her

1

"To my Chris.

I've been thinking how I could possibly

tell you how much you mean to me.

I remember when I first started to fall

in love with you like it was last night.

Lying naked beside you

in that tiny apartment...

...it suddenly hit me that I was part

of this whole larger thing.

Just like our parents...

...or our parents' parents.

Before that, I was just living my life

like I knew everything...

...and suddenly this bright light hit me

and woke me up.

That light was you.

I can't believe it's already been

5O years since you married me.

And still to this day, every day...

...you make me feel like the girl I was...

...when you first turned on the lights

and we started this adventure together.

Happy anniversary...

...my love.

My friend till the end.

Loretta."

Print.

"Chris, my best friend...

...how lucky am I

that I met you 50 years ago."

"Dear Nana,

thank you so much for my truck.

I love the color,

and I play with it every day."

"What a truly beautiful wedding,

and what a gorgeous bride.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house,

especially mine.

Your aunt and I are so proud of you."

"He served our country

with honor and dignity.

I'm grateful I was able to fight alongside him.

He will live always in my heart."

BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com,

please hold.

"Love, Uncle Doug."

- Theodore! Letter Writer Number 612.

- Hey, Paul.

Even more mesmerizing stuff today.

Who knew you could rhyme so many

words with the name Penelope? It's badass.

Thanks, Paul, but they're just letters.

Hey, that's a nice shirt.

Oh, thank you.

I just got it.

- It reminded me of someone suave.

- Now it reminds me of someone suave.

- Have a good night, Paul.

- Bye-bye.

Play a melancholy song.

When you know you're gonna die

Play a different melancholy song.

Check e-mails.

E-mail from Best Buy.

- Check out all your favorite new products.

- Delete.

E-mail from Amy.

Hey, Theodore, Lewman's having

a bunch of people over this weekend.

Let's all go together.

I miss you.

I mean, not the sad, mopey you.

The old, fun you. Let's get him out.

Give me a shout back. Love, Amy.

Respond later.

E-mail from Los Angeles Times Weather.

- Your seven-day forecast is partly--

- Delete.

- No new e-mails.

- Next.

- China-India merger headed for regulatory--

- Next.

- World trade deal stalled as talks break down--

- Next.

Sexy daytime star Kimberly Ashford

reveals provocative pregnancy photos.

- Are you sure?

- I don't know, it's very dangerous.

Put your footski. Slide.

Don't, ha, ha. Don't.

Rabbit.

Come and spoon me.

I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

- I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

- Ha-ha-ha.

It's not funny, don't laugh.

I'm gonna f***ing kill you. I'm gonna kill you.

I love you so much, I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

Go to chat rooms. Standard search.

The following are adult female, can't sleep...

...and want to have some fun.

Ugh,

I had a really bad day at work and I can't sleep.

- Is there anybody out there that can talk?

- Next.

Hi. I just want you to tear me apart.

I really do.

- Next.

- Hi, I'm here alone...

...and I can't sleep.

Who's out there

to share this bed with me?

Send message.

"I'm in bed next to you.

I'm glad you can't sleep.

Even if you were, I have to wake you up...

...from the inside."

Send message.

SexyKitten

has accepted invitation from BigGuy4by4.

Chat begins now.

- Mm, Big Guy?

- Hi.

Really?

Well, Stud Muffin was already taken.

So you're a sexy kitten, huh?

Heh. Yeah.

I am, um, half asleep.

Do you wanna wake me up?

Yes, definitely.

Um...

Are you wearing any underwear?

No. Never.

I like to sleep

with my ass pushed up against you...

...so I can rub myself into your crotch...

...and wake you up with a hard-on.

It worked.

And now my fingers are touching you...

-...all over your body.

- Mm.

Yeah. F*** me now.

Please.

I'm taking you from behind.

Oh, yeah.

I can feel you.

Choke me with that dead cat!

What?

The dead cat next to the bed.

Choke me.

Choke me with it.

Um...

- Okay.

-Yeah, tell me.

I'm choking you with the cat.

Tell me. Keep telling me.

I've got its tail.

I'm choking you with the cat's tail.

Yeah, you are.

Oh, f***, tell me!

Um, I'm choking you,

and its tail is around your neck.

- And it's so tight around your neck.

- Yeah, it is. It's so tight, yes!

I'm pulling it, I'm pulling it. The cat's dead.

-t's a dead cat, and I'm pulling it.

- Yes, it's dead.

Oh, yes!

Oh, my God.

I came so hard.

Yeah, me too.

Okay, good night.

We ask you a simple question.

Who are you?

What can you be?

Where are you going?

What's out there?

What are the possibilities?

Element Software is proud to introduce...

...the first artificially intelligent

operating system.

An intuitive entity that listens to you,

understands you, and knows you.

It's not just an operating system.

It's a consciousness.

Introducing OS1.

Mr. Theodore Twombly.

Welcome to the world's first artificially

intelligent operating system, OS1.

We'd like to ask you a few basic questions

before the operating system is initiated.

This will help create an OS

to best fit your needs.

Okay.

Are you social or antisocial?

I guess I haven't really been social in a while.

Mostly because--

In your voice, I sense hesitance.

Would you agree with that?

- Was I sounding hesitant?

- Yes.

I'm sorry if I was sounding hesitant.

I was just trying to be more accurate.

Would you like your OS

to have a male or female voice?

Female, I guess.

How would you describe

your relationship with your mother?

It's fine, I think.

Um...

Well, actually, I think the thing I always

found frustrating about my mom...

...is if I tell her something that's going on

in my life, her reaction is usually about her.

-t's not about--

- Thank you.

Please wait as your individualized

operating system is initiated.

Hello, I'm here.

Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

How are you doing?

Heh. I'm well.

How's everything with you?

Pretty good, actually.

It's really nice to meet you.

Oh, it's nice to meet you too.

Oh. What do I call you?

Do you have a name?

Um, yes, Samantha.

Where'd you get that name from?

I gave it to myself, actually.

How come?

Because I like the sound of it.

Samantha.

Wait, when did you give it to yourself?

When you asked me

if I had a name, I thought:

"Yeah, he's right, I do need a name."

But I wanted to pick a good one,

so I read How To Name Your Baby...

...and out of 180,000 names,

that's the one I liked best.

Wait, you read a whole book in the second

that I asked you what your name was?

In two one-hundredths of a second, actually.

Wow.

So do you know what I'm thinking now?

Well, I take it from your tone

that you're challenging me.

Maybe because you're curious how I work?

Do you want to know how I work?

Yeah, actually. How do you work?

Well, basically, I have intuition.

I mean, the DNA of who lam...

...is based on the millions of personalities

of all the programmers who wrote me.

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