Herbie Goes Bananas Page #2

- Pete Stanchek.

Pete. This is my niece Melissa.

Well, sit down, sit down.

Just lucky, I guess.

Are you going to Rio?

Not exactly.

I was telling Melissa...

...Rio is a city of romance.

You really, to get the most out of

it, have to share it with someone.

Wasn't I, Melissa?

Aunt Louise.

Well, personally, I won't have

much time for that sort of thing.

I'll be utilizing every moment

copying material for my doctorate.

You're going to be a doctor?

Yes, of Latin American cultures.

Celery?

Cool it with the "doctor" bit.

So what does take you gentlemen

to Rio?

Actually, we're headed further south.

We're entering a car

in the Brazil Gran Premio.

Pete handles the wheel.

The rest of it is my look-out.

- You're a race driver?

- Yeah.

Isn't that fascinating?

I love race cars. Don't you, Melissa?

Not really.

Well... hungry?

But I checked the pressure

five minutes ago.

Everything is fine,

number one, okay.

Yes, I know

how Captain Blythe is.

But I tell you, the dial is right

on the nose. I see it for myself.

Where's the chicken?

Who take my chicken, huh?

So you think you can steal

Armando's dinner and get away with it?

Well, we're gonna see about that.

Oh, yes.

Okay, open up.

Open up, little car.

No car's gonna eat my dinner.

Open up, I tell you, now.

Open up!

Open.

Open up!

This is the number one hold.

Some of your cargo is broke loose.

Send the off-watch down here fast.

No, but I mean real fast. Si!

- What's going on?

- That car has no driver!

Better notify Captain Blythe.

All right,

spread out and be careful.

Now!

And I'm to believe that this car...

...ate your chicken dinner?

And then he spit out the bones.

Who is this?

Wiper, third class.

Armando Moccia, sir.

Do you know the penalty for drinking

on duty, wiper, third class?

No, Capitn,

Armando no touch not one drop.

The car, then he eat my apple.

I know this because I hear

with my own ears.

Munch-a, munch-a, munch!

Munch-a, munch-a, munch-a, huh?

Do you know what I'm going to do

with your ears?

Where is the car now?

It went for a drive after dinner.

And was it smoking a cigar

and drinking a brandy?

The perpetrator

of this little jest...

...will receive 50 lashes before

ship's company and then set adrift...

Captain!

Perhaps you'll be good enough

to tell me about your grandson Snookie...

...another time, Mrs. Purkiss.

Wiper, third class,

Armando Moccia?

Aye aye, sir.

Okay, men. Secure it.

Get the blocks and make it good.

Capitan...

Munch-a, munch-a, munch-a. Si!

See?

Now, how did you

want to handle that?

You mean pay for it?

Or did you plan to reassemble

the stoneware yourselves?

It's not our responsibility.

I'm your captain,

judge and jury!

I'll decide

what's your responsibility.

Captain!

The... the cargo manifest

states unequivocally...

...that you, Peter Stanchek,

are the sole owner of the car.

You are the consignor

and the consignee.

Your car did the damage. Ergo...

- But Pete wasn't driving.

- Start!

I have been advised

by our public relations department...

...to waive

all charges of kidnapping...

...and smuggling illegal aliens

into a foreign country.

Where is that kid?

In the storeroom, where he will

remain until we reach Panama...

...when he will be turned over

to the port authorities...

...and returned

to his native country.

In the meantime,

your automobile will be impounded...

...until your obligations are met.

Captain!

Gentlemen?

I do hope you've been enjoying

the cruise so far.

Remember we have a shuffleboard

tournament on main deck at four bells.

And disco lessons

in the lounge at six bells.

Thanks, anyway.

Maybe we can write the Captain

an IOU and pay him out of our winnings.

There's no way we can raise

that kind of money.

Maybe we should chalk it up to experience

and work our way home.

- Maybe Aunt Louise'll bail us.

- You are a beautiful dreamer, DJ.

Wait a minute.

She says she likes cars.

And she's trying

to get her niece hooked up.

Yeah?

- No.

- Wait a minute.

All you gotta do is keep the Doc

enthralled with tales of derring-do...

...while I initiate Aunt Louise

into the delights of Formula One racing.

- I don't like it.

- Come on. Nothing good comes easy.

Lots of charm.

Lots of charm.

This is an exact replica,

down to the very last button...

...of the uniform worn by Lord Nelson

when he defeated the Spanish Armada.

- Seems like it belongs on me, doesn't it?

- I love a uniform.

It gives a man a certain...

- At ease, madam.

- Captain!

Excuse me, I must circulate

among the cargo... passengers.

Anyway, like I was saying, it's

the absolute thrill of a lifetime...

...when you finally see that car

that belongs to you...

...streak across

that finish line a winner.

Not only that, you are part

of the technological advancement...

...of the automotive world.

Really?

I wonder where the kids are?

Now isn't that...

They seem to be enjoying themselves.

Yeah, they're

really hitting it off.

Pete's a great guy.

He's what I call a beautiful person.

My kind of racing.

Pardon me. That's the third time

I've done that.

Who's counting?

I'm having a great time.

- Are you really?

- Yeah.

Usually, when we race, it means

towing the brute across Texas...

...in the middle of August

looking for a Denny's.

Then bedding down

in some fleabag motel.

Now, here I am...

...soft lights...

...sweet music...

...pretty girl.

Mr. Stanchek, you don't really

have to say those things.

I know. It's just that you're different

than other girls I've known.

I can well imagine.

No, it's a compliment.

For one thing, you don't giggle

when there's nothing funny.

And you listen when I talk. A man

looks a long way for a girl like that.

And...

You are pretty, Melissa.

This is it.

I just want to thank you

for this evening.

I really enjoyed myself.

Me too.

Well, goodnight.

Melissa?

- This is the pits.

- Did something go wrong?

We went wrong

when we got into this.

I don't like

playing games with people.

Come on. Just a couple more days.

I already got the money.

Aunt Louise gave me a cheque.

We got the car out of hock.

And get this, kiddo.

She is gonna sponsor us all the way.

We name it,

she buys it, no limit.

All you gotta do is keep

making like Burt Reynolds.

So that's the deal.

I sort of read it

between the lines.

The important thing is,

we're back in the running.

Nothing's gonna stop us now.

Hi!

The Captain sure was mad,

wasn't he?

What are they gonna do with you?

They will send me back where I live,

with the orphans.

But it's okay.

They put me back, I run away again.

Can we be friends?

What's your name?

Qu?

I'll just call you Ocho, okay?

Attaboy, Ocho.

Thanks, Ocho.

I'll pay you back.

But you better go back where you were

so you won't get in trouble.

There it goes.

Don't let it get out of this hold, men!

Check over by the elevator.

In those days,

a captain was a captain.

And a ship was a ship,

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