Here Comes Mr. Jordan Page #3

- Quite.

- Played polo a while back.

- That sounds all right.

- Is he dead?

- No.

Gonna die, though?

- Sick, huh?

- No, not really.

He has a slightly rundown condition.

I get it. Playboy type.

Wine, women, and song. Ruins his health.

Fine body you want to make me

a present of.

- Guy drinks himself into an early grave.

- No, he didn't.

He's just slightly rundown.

He's going to die, that's all.

He's being murdered, Joe.

Murdered?

- Is it going on right now?

- Yes.

Right here in this house?

Who's doing it?

His wife and the man she's in love with,

Farnsworth's confidential secretary.

Nice people you want me to meet.

- How are they killing him?

- They're drowning him in the bathtub.

Holy cow.

Come on, let's scram out of here.

I'm going to keep my nose clean.

- I'm in enough trouble anyway.

- Wait, Joe.

Look here, Mr. Jordan, you don't think

I'm crazy enough to change places...

with a guy who's got a wife like that

hanging around?

- I ain't punch-drunk yet.

- We'll have to wait here until I collect him.

It's my job.

How can you sit there

when there's a guy being killed?

Why don't we call the police?

I'm afraid they wouldn't pay much attention

to us, Joe.

Yeah, that's right.

It's all over, Joe.

You mean, he's dead?

Those are the two that did it, huh?

Yes, Mrs. Farnsworth

and the secretary, Tony Abbott.

Gee, to look at her,

you wouldn't think she'd...

Tony, I'm frightened.

Get ahold of yourself, Julia.

Tony, I don't know what's come over me.

I have a feeling I can't shake off.

That there's something weird...

something hanging over us, watching us.

You said it, sister.

Come now, stop it, Julia.

What could be more natural?

A glass of warm milk,

a sleeping tablet or two...

and a very tired, dissipated young man

unfortunately drowses off in his bath.

I've had enough of this.

I need some fresh air.

- Wait, Joe. Don't go yet.

- I don't want any more of this mob.

- Miss Bette Logan to see Mr. Farnsworth.

- Wait, Joe.

- I can't talk to her now.

- Of course you can. Show her in.

- Yes, sir.

- It's quite simple.

Just be sympathetic. I'll be in the study.

If she becomes difficult, bring her in to me.

Who's this Logan?

Somebody else mixed up with this murder?

You judge for yourself, Joe.

Miss Logan.

How do you do, Miss Logan?

I'm Mrs. Farnsworth.

May I see Mr. Farnsworth, please?

I've got to see him.

Why, yes. He'll be right down.

Be right down? She knows he's dead.

Mrs. Farnsworth...

- my father's been arrested.

- Yes, I know. I'm sorry.

He's sick, Mrs. Farnsworth.

This will kill him...

and he's not guilty of anything.

It was about some worthless securities

he sold, wasn't it?

That Mr. Farnsworth sold

under my father's name.

- That's a pretty serious charge, isn't it?

- I believe my father.

Well, what do you expect

Mr. Farnsworth to do?

I don't know. I came here to ask him to...

- He can't send an innocent man to jail.

- Well, I don't know about that.

Mr. Abbott has all the facts in the case

and he's in the study.

- Would you care to see him?

- Yes, if I could, please.

Mr. Jordan, I've never seen anything

as beautiful as that, not even in heaven.

She's in a tough spot.

Got a lot of courage to come all the way

up here alone to fight for her father.

She worships him.

She's no match for those buzzards.

She needs help.

She's in trouble. You better go to work.

Farnsworth is the only one

who can help her, Joe.

- And he's dead.

- But you can be Farnsworth.

- What do you mean? I don't get it.

- It's quite simple.

You mean, you want me to be Farnsworth

and have a swell girl like that hate me?

But you'd make a very different Farnsworth.

Spiritually, there'd be no change in you.

Yeah, but I wouldn't be myself.

A guy's no good if he isn't himself.

Joe, you'll always be yourself.

You'd merely be using

Farnsworth's physical covering...

like donning a new overcoat.

Better be a pretty good overcoat.

Gotta last me for 50 years.

But inside that coat,

you'd still be Joe Pendleton...

thinking and acting and feeling.

Yeah, but that overcoat,

that'll be Farnsworth.

That's what she'll see.

- He's a rat. She'll think I'm a rat.

- Maybe at first.

But eventually,

she'd see the soul of Joe Pendleton...

because that is never lost.

That will always shine through, Joe.

No matter what overcoat you put on.

Yeah, but that rundown overcoat,

that playboy Farnsworth...

I'd have to give up everything.

Crack at the title and...

No, I couldn't do it, Mr. Jordan.

- I'd like to help, but not that way.

- There is no other way.

Do you think it's fair

to put me in a spot like this?

This is the evidence against your father,

Miss Logan.

These stocks were issued by his company.

Look at them.

Those stocks were issued

while my father was in Europe.

He had nothing to do with them.

Please let me see Mr. Farnsworth.

Mr. Abbott, have Sisk announce

Miss Logan to Mr. Farnsworth.

What's the idea? She knows he's dead.

Why send for him?

Very convenient, Sisk discovering the body.

You haven't much time to decide.

- Mr. Jordan, I don't want to be Farnsworth.

- Miss Logan, you're a stupid child.

What would Bruce Farnsworth do for you

or anyone?

Perhaps you think

he'll reach into his pocket...

and pay out $5 million

to redeem those securities...

just to make you happy

and get your father out of jail.

Why, he'd see you both starving first,

and enjoy it.

- You hear that?

- You want to help her...

- don't you, Joe?

- Sure, I want to help, only...

- You rang, madam?

- Yes.

Tell Mr. Farnsworth

Miss Logan is here to see him.

Yes, madam.

- He's going up there.

- Hurry, Joe.

Don't rush me.

Before I take a step like this,

I gotta do some figuring.

- Make up your mind.

- Look, what if I did it? Only temporary.

Suppose I was Farnsworth

just for a little while...

until after I help that kid out.

- Could I do that?

- If you wish it.

And after you've got me

out of Farnsworth's body...

you'd have to get me a body

that would suit me.

- Is that clear?

- Quite clear.

Okay, that's a deal.

Come on, Mr. Jordan. We better hurry.

It's still me. I haven't changed.

Look.

We can't get away with this.

I still look like me.

- Isn't that Joe Pendleton, or am I nuts?

- Inwardly, you haven't changed.

You're still Joe Pendleton,

and that's what we will see.

Outwardly, you're Bruce Farnsworth,

and that's what they'll see and hear.

Mr. Farnsworth? Are you there?

- Answer him, Joe.

- Answer him?

You mean, people can hear me now?

Yeah, but I still talk like me.

- He knows that other guy's voice.

- That is exactly what he'll hear.

- Mr. Farnsworth!

- He will?

To everyone else, you'll seem to be talking

like Bruce Farnsworth.

Mr. Farnsworth! Is anything wrong?

- Oh, please answer me, sir.

- Go ahead, Joe.

Okay, I'll be out in a minute.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

There. Now, what he heard

was the voice of Farnsworth.

It was, eh?

And when you open that door,

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