Here Comes Mr. Jordan Page #6

Synopsis: Boxer Joe Pendleton, flying to his next fight, crashes...because a Heavenly Messenger, new on the job, snatched Joe's spirit prematurely from his body. Before the matter can be rectified, Joe's body is cremated; so the celestial Mr. Jordan grants him the use of the body of wealthy Bruce Farnsworth, who's just been murdered by his wife. Joe tries to remake Farnsworth's unworthy life in his own clean-cut image, but then falls in love; and what about that murderous wife?
Director(s): Alexander Hall
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
  Won 2 Oscars. Another 3 wins & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.7
Rotten Tomatoes:
100%
NOT RATED
Year:
1941
94 min
332 Views


- Yes.

Look, Mr. Jordan,

this Farnsworth was about my age.

He had a pretty good body once.

You said he played polo.

Why couldn't I build him up physically

like I did me?

- Why not?

- Yes.

- Exercise, plain food, plenty of fresh air.

- I'm sure you'd do wonders with him.

Yeah, with my knowledge of fighting,

sure I would.

I could get that body in the pink

in no time at all...

and lick Murdock with it.

Then I got the title and I got her, too.

- Mr. Pendleton, is this final?

- You bet it's final.

I'm gonna stay like I am. As Farnsworth.

If you really are, Joe,

you've got a lot of work to do...

- so you better get started.

- Yeah. Thanks, Mr. Jordan.

So long.

Goodbye, you.

I won't have to see you again.

- Thank goodness.

- Ditto.

- Well, that's off my hand.

- In a case like this, you can never be sure.

Oh, dear.

Come on, over your head.

Get it up over your head. That's it.

Get it up over your head. That's a boy.

Come on, once more now. That's it.

Bruce!

- What's the matter?

- What's the matter?

Great heavens, your blood pressure

can't stand this sort of thing.

My blood pressure is perfect.

- Oh, Sisk, look at you.

- I can quite imagine, madam.

- He's doing fine.

- Get back to your work.

I'm very grateful, madam.

I'll take you for a jog in the morning.

It'll do you good.

Mr. Farnsworth, I must tell you, sir,

the board is frantic at your absence.

They've got to have your decision

on Herr Carbide...

and something has to be done

about the P and L debentures.

Yeah, I'll take care of that.

We're going to dump a lot of that stuff.

We got too many fingers in too many pies.

We're gonna do one thing and do it right.

- But, Mr. Farnsworth...

- Can't you see I'm busy?

Tony, I tell you, he's gone mad.

- Mr. Farnsworth?

- No.

- Who is this gentleman, Sisk?

- Corkle's the name. Max Corkle.

He said he has an appointment

with Mr. Farnsworth.

- Yeah.

- There must be some mistake.

I'm Mr. Farnsworth's secretary.

You couldn't have an appointment

unless I had given it to you.

- Well, you don't need to get fancy about it.

- Do you mind stating your business?

Look, I don't know what this is all about.

All I know is

I got a telegram from Bruce Farnsworth...

- telling me to come to this address.

- Why?

I don't know why.

Outside of having seen the guy's picture

in the paper...

- I wouldn't know him from Adam.

- Mr. Corkle?

Oh, Mr. Farnsworth, this man says

he has an appointment with you.

Yeah, would you mind stepping in here

a minute, Mr. Corkle?

- In here.

- Yes, sir.

Max, you old son of a gun,

I'm glad to see you. How are you?

- You know me?

- Certainly, I know you, you dumb ox.

Well, look, Mr. Farnsworth,

I got this telegram...

Yeah, I know about that.

Take a good look, Max.

Do you know me?

Sure, I know you.

Everybody knows you, Mr. Farnsworth.

What's the matter with your eyes,

you big sap?

I'm not Farnsworth.

I'm Joe Pendleton. Your Joe.

- You're nuts, Mr. Farnsworth.

- Wait a minute now, Max.

I know I don't look like Joe,

but I'm him just the same.

- And it's your fault.

- My fault?

Yeah, you hadn't been in such a hurry

to cremate me...

I wouldn't be in the jam I'm in now.

- I cremated you?

- Well, didn't you?

Well, take it easy, will you, Mr. Farnsworth?

It's been kind of hot today, ain't it?

Oh, no, you don't.

Now, you stay put and listen to me.

You remember

the last time I went up in that plane?

Well, something went flooey

and the ship went into a spin...

and then one of those guys

that goes around collecting people...

he pulled a boner.

All the time he thought I was dead,

I wasn't dead at all.

He grabbed me off before my time.

And while I'm arguing with him...

whether I'm dead or not, you cremate me.

Then they gotta make good.

They gotta get me another body. Get it?

Well, sure, sure.

Then everything's fine now, ain't it?

And all you need is a doctor.

- The best one, maybe a specialist.

- Now, you stay put and listen to me.

I'm a very busy man, Mr. Farnsworth.

The body they gave me

belongs to this other guy.

They drowned him in the bathtub.

Pushed him underneath the water.

Help!

- Having trouble, Joe?

- Mr. Jordan.

I certainly am glad you showed up.

I'm having plenty of trouble.

I can't get anything through this guy's head.

Tell him what happened, will you?

This is Max Corkle, my manager.

You know, the guy that did me up good.

And this is Mr. Jordan.

You know those collector fellows

I was telling you about?

Well, that's his department.

He's in charge, see?

- Is there somebody with us?

- Yeah. Mr. Jordan.

Oh. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Jordan.

Oh, I forgot. You can't see him.

Well, maybe if I had a good, stiff drink...

You can't see him

because you're not dead yet.

Well, I guess you two fellows

have got a lot of business to talk over...

- so I'll be mooching along.

- Oh, no, you don't.

Mr. Jordan, I gotta get this through to him.

He's a swell guy.

He's my manager.

I'd be lost in the ring without him.

Make him understand, will you?

Just let him see you for a minute.

- You can do it yourself, Joe. Try.

- I can, eh?

I'm gonna make you understand

if I have to pound you into a jelly.

How would I know about Joe if I wasn't Joe?

- And listen to this, you got 40% of me.

- Yes. Well, thanks.

- Since when did you give me that?

- Since that night in Astoria...

when you saw me put away

Butcher Boy McKenzie.

You said I had color,

you said I had what they wanted.

And how's your sister Rosie,

and the three kids?

Have the twins gotten over the measles yet?

- Say, who are you, anyway?

- I'm Joe. Your Joe.

This is Farnsworth's body

because you burned mine, you big stiff.

Wait a minute. I'll prove it to you.

- Do you remember this?

- Hey, that's Joe's.

I gave it to him. Poor Joe.

- Where'd you get that?

- It's mine, I tell you.

Wait, I'll play your favorite tune for you.

You always hit that note sour.

Joe.

It's you.

Joe.

He knows me.

He knows me.

You feel better, Max?

You sure it isn't a hangover from last night?

You really are Joe?

Listen, Max. Inside, I am Joe.

Outside, I'm Farnsworth.

- Hey, is your pal still around?

- Yeah, he's right there.

He is, huh?

Maybe I'm somebody else, too.

Ask him. No, don't.

If I'm in somebody else's body,

I don't want to know about it.

Max, I want to tell you why I sent for you.

They're talking about matching

K.O. Murdock with Gilbert.

Yeah?

Who did Murdock have to fight

before he got a crack at Gilbert's title?

Joe. You.

All right.

I want you to fix it for me to fight Murdock.

You're crazy.

K.O. Would never fight Farnsworth.

- Tell him what the Registrar discovered, Joe.

- Yeah, that's right.

- Is he talking again?

- Yeah.

Max, I'm going to let you in on something.

I'm the next champ.

It's in the book. Nothing can change it.

- Is that what he said?

- That's what he said, and he knows.

- Will he insure any bets?

- Max, I'm telling you what you got to do.

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Sidney Buchman

Sidney Robert Buchman (March 27, 1902 – August 23, 1975) was an American screenwriter and producer who worked on about 40 films from the late 1920s to the early 1970s. He received four Oscar nominations and won once for Best Screenplay for fantasy romantic comedy film Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941) along with Seton I. Miller. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Here Comes Mr. Jordan" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/here_comes_mr._jordan_9892>.

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