Heritage Falls Page #3

What is this?

I'd go last, but that's all right.

Go ahead.

This is a book.

Dad, I'm impressed.

It only took you, what,

44 years to get in the ballpark.

Evan...

Honey, just open it, please.

Uh, Mom,

do you want to save this paper or...?

What?

Thanks, Harv.

Survival in the Wilderness.

Curtis Schakleston.

"Junior, in honor of your 44th birthday

and our Heritage Falls adventure.

Love, Dad."

Heritage Falls?

I don't...

Dad's taking you

and Markie camping!

Me? What did I do?

Wow, Pop. You know, that's, uh...

That's great!

I... I'd love to, but I can't go.

I mean, we just had inventory.

The shop is gonna be crazy.

I really appreciate it.

Your schedule's already been cleared.

And I'm helping out

at the store while you're gone.

That's my present, by the way.

Uh...

Look, Dad, camping's not...

It's not my thing.

- You know?

- Yeah.

Yeah, what...

Just what is your thing, Junior?

Dad.

- Huh?

- Dad.

I mean, just do what you want to do.

You always do anyway.

I still don't know why I have to go.

Ouch.

Camping.

How bad could it be?

Oh, if he's taking me

where I think he's taking me,

it's... it's gonna be pretty bad.

There's bugs and there's ticks.

And there's wasps.

And there's this obstacle course,

there's the wall.

- The wall? What's the wall?

- Yeah.

I don't know, I never made the team.

He's right, though.

What is he right about?

Trying to get you guys

to spend time together.

It's something you desperately need.

I know, I know.

I know what he's trying to do.

- Well, at least he's trying.

- Yeah, but why now?

I mean,

what is this, what's going on?

I mean, first he retires,

and now it's this camping thing.

I mean, I'm 44. I'm not 14.

Better late than never.

How do you do that?

How do you always make

everything so easy and practical?

Because it usually is.

Camping.

It's gonna be like putting

two betta fish in a bowl

and telling them to get along.

Three betta fish.

Oh, I forgot.

Three of us in that cabin.

Happy birthday to me.

Hey, you're getting

pretty good with that thing.

Yeah, it's pocket-size,

so it keeps me sharp.

Guitar's still my weapon

of choice, though.

Oh, of course.

I haven't heard you play in a while.

Maybe you can

bring it with you on the trip?

Yeah, maybe. We'll see.

You're excited.

I reckon so.

Don't overdo it out there.

I know my limits.

You worry too much.

No, I don't.

Hey, I put together

a little care package for you boys.

You know,

just ice breakers and such.

Figured I'd give it to you now,

since you're raring to go.

You're my girl.

How can there be

A cherry that has no stone

How can there be

A chicken that has no bone

How can there be a baby

With no crying

How can you tell a story...

Hi, Grandpa.

4:
00. We're burning daylight.

Hey, it's my party.

I'll be late if I want to.

Ah, that's funny.

Yeah, music joke.

Thank you,

I'll be here all night.

All three nights, in fact.

Yay, camping, whoo!

You're bringing that?

Yeah, I told him.

What, why?

How far we going?

I mean, you know, ta-dah.

It's got a handle.

Oh, Junior. My son, my son.

Okay, listen.

You call me Junior one more time,

there's not gonna be a camping trip.

- Dad, here.

- Whoa!

All right, give 'em up, cell phones.

What, are you serious?

Yeah, it's my trip. My rules.

You can cry if you want to.

Okay, no. Just take it. It's fine.

Hey, what are you doing...

Hold on.

But I need my laptop.

No, you don't.

Follow me, boys.

Let's go, slow poke!

Three days.

All right!

Camping!

Here we go!

Camp a little while

In the wilderness

In the wilderness,

In the wilderness

Camp a little while

In the wilderness

For I'm a-goin' home

You guys in a rush?

Have a date?

Careful, don't...

I'm just getting ready

- For I'm going home

- Aah!

- Come on!

- Slow down, come on, Dad!

You guys...

Guys, wait!

Pick it up!

For I'm going home

Go, go.

For I'm going home

For I'm going home

Is that Heritage Falls?

Not even close.

For I'm going home

Shout a little while

In the wilderness

Heritage Falls, yep. Great.

It'll be so much fun, yeah.

For I'm going home

How do you get up there so easily?

For I'm going home

For I'm going home

Oh I'm just getting ready

For I'm going home

I sought my Lord

In the wilderness

In the wilderness

In the wilderness

I sought my Lord

In the wilderness

For I'm going home

For I'm going home

For I'm going home

I'm just getting ready

For I'm going home

Dad, look, my axe.

Great, day one, tetanus.

There's no tetanus.

Would all the players sleep in there?

No, they'd pitch their tents down

on the sandbar.

You guys get

the coach's VIP treatment.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

You get to sleep indoors.

- Ah.

- Cool.

Excuse me!

- It's nice in here.

- What?

These are just basketball tapes?

Kind of boring.

Hey, fellas, I got some coffee.

Who wants some?

No pot.

No coffee pot?

You'll survive.

I thought you said there were

three rooms in this cabin.

Living room, bathroom, bedroom,

three rooms.

- Seniority!

- Shotgun!

Seniority, seniority!

Seniority!

Seniority?

Really, you want to play that card?

- Oh, ah, shotgun!

- Oh, no.

I don't play that game.

Whoa, whoa.

That's not a game. That's a rule.

Not in my house.

Hey, you guys

should arm wrestle for it.

Or we rock, paper, scissors, huh?

Arm wrestle.

Arm wrestle.

I mean, look,

I don't want to hurt you, old man.

Okay.

You know, that old bear rug's

pretty comfortable.

Not too many fleas.

Hey, all right. Arm wrestle it is.

Come on, old man.

So do you think

we'll hear anything?

Nah, Charlie has a phone rule.

So only if there's an emergency.

So no new news is good then?

Exactly.

What are you doing?

Dishes.

You know, I thought it was

a good idea when Charlie pitched it.

But now that they're gone.

Aw, honey, don't worry about it.

Charlie knows what he's doing.

He does?

Sure, he does.

Look, those boys needed to be

thrown into a box and shaken up.

Besides, Markie's there

to balance them out.

Let's do this!

- Three!

- You're going down, old man.

- Two!

- Bring it, boy.

- One!

- Son defeats the father!

- Go!

- Dun, dun, dun...

Ah ha ha!

Night, Grandpa, night, Dad.

Oh, yeah.

Two more nights.

Oh, no...

Aah!

Markie!

Come on, boy!

Don't make me come up there.

- Bonding time, boy.

- Okay.

Here's coffee.

I'm gonna die.

Mmm!

Ready? You're doing good.

You're doing good.

Let's go, let's go.

While we're young.

I thought we were

supposed to be bonding.

What do you call this?

Torture.

Well, there it is, boys.

I'm not doing that.

No way.

Cannot get over this

without teamwork.

- Then we can't do it.

- All right, face each other.

Link your hands,

lace your fingers together.

All right, ready?

One, two, three.

This is not good.

Push! Down, down.

Come on.

Okay, hold on.

Ah, Dad!

Come on!

Grandpa, come on.

Little more.

Ah, no, no! No, no!

- Come on, push!

- Go, push!

Come on, come on.

Push. Down, down.

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