Heroes for Sale Page #3

He's a Red.

How about going down to the drugstore

and getting a drink?

- Oh, some other time.

- I meant now.

All right, I'll go.

I'll go if I can buy my own.

Don't worry about that.

I've got some money.

My friend...

...have you got a chisel?

Chisel? No.

I would sell my soul for a chisel.

That's the inventor.

- He's kind of cracked, isn't he?

- Yeah, a little bit.

I guess we're all kind of cracked

one way or another.

Maybe.

Funny, here I was down in the dumps,

disgusted with everything.

- And then you came along and...

- And what?

- Well, I'm a new man... just like that.

- Heh-heh-heh.

Tie a hook on that line and go fishing.

I will if you'll go with me.

Pop, what did you do with it?

- Well, I sold it.

Then give me the money.

Well, I didn't exactly get any money,

but Joe will pay us tomorrow, sure.

He said he would.

Now, Pop, giving away

the last can of coffee.

Tomorrow's Sunday,

the shops will be closed.

Oh. What am I gonna do with you?

Somebody will lend us some coffee, Mary,

or something.

Oh. I was telling Pop

it's lucky the counter's nailed down...

...or we'd all be eating off the floor.

You know, I think he's gonna like it here.

Mm-hm.

- How are you, Tom?

- Hi, Ed.

- How is it going? Good.

- Great.

- Hello, Tom. Get any new accounts today?

- Not today.

- Twenty, 58, 63, 15, right?

- Right.

The old man wants to see you right away.

That doesn't sound so good.

- Hello.

- Oh, hello.

- Where you going?

- The boss wants to see me.

- What's the matter?

- Your guess is as good as mine.

Well, good luck, dear.

Sit down.

- I wanna ask you a question, Holmes.

- Yes, sir.

You probably know

that business is falling off.

Just one of those temporary slumps,

I hope.

- Yes, sir.

- All our drivers...

...are losing trade.

AII, except you.

Your route has picked up 2o percent

in the last month.

How are you getting all this new business?

With a blackjack?

No, sir.

- With a merchandise order.

- Huh?

Every time

one of my regular customers...

...gives me a lead

where I can get a new account...

...then I give her

a dollar merchandise order.

You see, if Mrs. Jones gives me

the name of Mrs. Smith, I go to see her.

And if I can sell her

into doing business with us...

...why, then Mrs. Jones

gets a merchandise order.

- Then what?

- Well, then I start working on Mrs. Smith.

She's got friends and relations

and all that.

She sells me to Mrs. Brown

and then she gets an order.

It's kind of an endless chain.

Why, it's nothing but a new twist

on the old premium plan.

- But who pays for the merchandise orders?

- Oh, I do.

I've got a hardware store

on Archer Avenue...

...and a dry-goods store

over on Taft Street.

They print the merchandise orders

and exchange them for goods.

My increased commissions

more than cover...

I'll say they do. More than cover.

Holmes, where did you get this scheme?

Why, I don't know.

I was trying to think of a way to build up

my route and make a little extra.

I guess the idea just hit me.

Why didn't somebody else here

think of it? Why didn't I?

We'll start a regular merchandise

premium plan.

Give away dishes, vacuum cleaners,

maybe even cash bonuses...

...to our old customers

who get us new customers.

- It's marvelous.

- It seems to work out all right.

If I can keep that route of mine

going along...

Ha-ha. Here less than three months and

you figure out a business-builder like this?

Keep that route? Waste your ability

letting you drive a laundry truck?

Don't be silly.

Get Travis, Blake and all the other drivers

up here right away.

My boy, you're going to get

a real job around here.

Primping for Tom again, eh?

Trying to look pretty.

No, just trying to look less

like the family.

Oh.

- Pop.

- What's the matter now?

Where's the leg of veal

that was in the icebox?

Oh, was there a leg of veal in there?

Now, don't you start acting innocent.

What did you do with it?

Well, I... Well, Frank Martin, his wife...

Well, she's kind of sick and he ain't

exactly got a job, so I sold it to him.

Oh, Pop, for goodness' sake.

Oh, Mary, he'll pay us in a couple of days.

His wife is sick and...

Well, I'm sick too.

I'm sick of you trying to feed

everybody, free.

- Where's Ruth?

- Upstairs, if Pop hasn't given the flat away.

Well, come on.

I've got something great to tell you.

Yeah?

The idea came to me one day

when I was driving along.

Mr. Gibson's gonna make you

Blake's assistant?

- He's done it.

- He didn't raise your salary.

- He sure did.

- Tom, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, there's a catch in it somewhere.

Are you stupid enough to think

this Gibson...

...this dirty capitalist

is interested in your welfare?

He's proven it.

Everyone who works for him loves him.

And he loves all of you too.

Loves you because you're stupid and docile.

Because he can change your sweat

into money.

Because he can use you, exploit you.

All for the few stinking pennies

he pays you.

Max, you're crazy.

Working conditions are swell there.

You trying to tell me about laundries?

Listen, yungah, I used to be chief engineer

of the biggest laundry in Cleveland.

Long hours, short wages, steam,

sweat, consumption, slavery.

And you all love him.

Sheep!

When you get to be my age...

...you'll have a bomb in every pocket.

He's getting awful Red.

It won't be long before he puts a bomb

in the coffee urn.

Oh, forget that maniac.

You did a great thing.

We all ought to celebrate.

Let's get some chop suey.

- I'd love it.

- No, you kids go ahead.

- I haven't got a thing to wear.

- You have.

- What's the matter with your blue crepe?

- The hem.

- Well, go on, fix it, we'll wait.

- All right, it'll just take a few minutes.

Things have changed for me

in the last few months.

- I've got a good job.

- And a lot of good friends.

I've been awful lucky since I came here.

This old town

certainly looks different than it did.

You were kind of lonesome at first,

weren't you?

I guess I was.

And you're not anymore?

Ruth.

You all ready, Mary?

It'd take me all night to finish this hem.

You kids go on ahead.

I'll see you when you get back.

Oh, Mary, I'm so excited.

I actually tingle all over.

Oh, it's darling. It's beautiful, Mary.

I thought you'd like it.

Like it? Oh, Mary, I love it.

Oh, and it matches,

it just matches the bassinet.

What does Tom think about all this?

Oh, he's walking on air.

Come on,

and I'll show you them bassinet.

- Hmm.

- Why, hello, stranger.

- I must have $ 15oo at once.

- What for?

I've got it,

the greatest thing in the world.

Make me rich, make you rich,

if you help me.

Remember I used to be chief engineer

of a big laundry for years?

I know, but wait a minute.

Calm down. What's this all about?

My invention. I will revolutionize

the whole laundry business.

But I must have $ 15oo to patent it

before somebody steals it.

Well, why come to me?

You have a job, you work steady,

you save money.

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