Hiding Out Page #5

put up half the posters.

Oh, no. You can just

take 'em down.

Y-you should have

asked me.

Hey, listen, I get a little

ahead of myself, but that's me.

That's the way I am.

You know what I'm sayin'?

I have an idea.

Why don't you run?

Nah, man,

that's not my thing.

My thing's

behind the scenes.

See, I'm a mover, a motivator.

You know what I'm sayin'?

That's me.

That's the way I am.

Well, this is me

declining the nomination.

I'm really honored,

guys,

but, you know, that's me.

That's the way I am.

You're a natural. And just

think how good it's gonna look

on your college application.

And the girls--

the girls will be on you

like white on rice,

you know what I'm sayin'?

The power thing's

a turnon. Ha!

Check it out.

Before you say no,

answer me this.

You ever run before?

You've run before, Max,

haven't you?

Recently, in fact.

Listen up. Kevin o'roarke

been president

for 2 years now.

This school needs

some fresh blood.

Believe me, my blood

is not that fresh.

You'd be surprised.

[Beeper beeps]

Hey, that's

my man Lamar in the gym

working on

the pompom squad.

You see, I'm a mover,

a motivator.

I'll catch you later.

That's him.

That's the way he is.

I'm absolutely

not running, no--

check it out, check it out.

Save it for

your campaign speech.

Yo, bust a move, fellas.

I'm d.

disky

and Davey d.

All:
we make up the force

of Clinton's posse

[beatboxes]

[Strums out-of-tune guitar]

How do those guys

do that?

[Beatboxing]

Oh, this is getting worse

by the minute.

Last time I picked up a girl

at her parents' house,

I can't even remember.

That's how long ago it was.

Heh. same as me.

I can't believe you set up

a date with Ryan.

I didn't.

She set it up.

How do I look?

Well, uh,

here. Try this.

Oh, Patrick, I haven't

the slightest idea

what high-school girls

like to talk about.

Well, you're

on your own there, Max.

They don't like to talk to me

about anything. Heh.

Patrick, maybe

this tie is why.

Nah, I'm kidding.

They will.

Don't worry about it.

Well, I'm not

worried about it.

I mean, all that is

gonna change

as soon as

i get my license.

Of course, I don't have

a stack of credit cards

or a decent stereo

or a fine set of wheels.

Or a mortgage

or student loan payments

or lower back pain--

believe me,

you got a lot

to look forward to.

[Coughs]

Anyway, it's not bad,

all that stuff--

oh, give me that.

[Coughs]

Just learn to be

your true self.

My true self?

I'm talking to a guy

who stole his name

off a coffee can.

Trust me

on this, Patrick.

I used to be

exactly like you.

I was a short, horny,

hopeless dork.

Well,

look at you now.

Well, I'm not short.

Hey, uh...

Good luck

on your date tonight, Max.

I mean it.

Thanks, Patrick...

You little sh*t.

[Crickets chirping

and dog barking]

[Sighs]

Please, oh, please

answer the door, Ryan.

Last thing I need is to

talk to this girl's father.

[Doorbell ringing]

[Soft rock music

playing inside]

Max? hello,

I'm Ryan's father.

Come on in.

Hi, sir.

but in this man's world

you'll always be...

You can call me Bob.

Mmm.

Listen, Ryan will be

right down.

What can I get

for you?

Uh...i'll take

a scotch and soda.

Sorry, Bob!

Bad joke. Uh...

Just a soda.

Just soda.

Yeah, thanks.

You, uh, have

a lovely home here.

Thank you.

Stop it. You're

sounding like Eddie haskell.

no way,

i refuse, I refuse

I defy inhibition,

escape definition

I refuse, I refuse...

My hobby.

[Rattles]

Sorry.

[bangs piano]

Heh heh heh.

Just soda.

Heh heh. Thanks.

Ryan!

She's up there

somewhere.

Mm-hmm.

Well, don't let me

take you away from anything.

No, no, no,

it's all right.

Just finishing up

some paperwork,

and this new tax code--

it's got me all screwed up.

Oh, yeah,

tell me about it.

So, are you taking

the standard deductions,

or are you itemizing?

I'm, uh...Itemizing.

Oh. well then,

let's take a look here.

[Computer beeps]

Ok. what--oh.

Yeah, you got

that one. Heh.

Oh, but...What about

this loss here?

You see, you can offset

the dividend income there.

Wow! I missed that.

Yeah, that's like

1,000 bucks right there.

[Coughs]

Heh. uh...

You're in

the same classes with Ryan?

Max:
oh, yeah.

Hi.

oh, hi.

You guys

getting along ok?

Uh, it's great.

[Both giggle]

Ok. ready?

Oh, listen.

Wait, Ryan.

I want to

treat you guys.

Here's some cash.

Really?

Really.

Great!

ok, see you later.

Tell mom I'll be

home early.

Ok, I will.

Nice meeting you,

Bob...Sir.

Boy, that was weird.

20 minutes ago,

he was screaming about

the heating bill.

Oh, yeah? Heh heh!

I have big news.

Uh-huh.

I found out today.

University of Iowa--

i got an early admission.

Oh, great!

That's--that's terrific.

What about you?

Where are you gonna go?

Uh, I don't know yet.

I haven't heard.

Well--

uh,

well, allow me.

Ok.

Iowa, huh?

Ever been there?

No.

I know it's where

they grow potatoes.

Corn.

Aha.

[giggling]

Yeah, I knew that.

Yeah.

Are you ready for

the Jersey jet?

I don't know.

Unh.

ok.

[Engine starts]

So, where are

we going?

Uh, I leave it entirely

in your hands.

It's your town.

Ok.

Whoa. where did you

get this car?

Oh, my mom drove it when

she was in college--

original brakes,

original transmission.

You know, I still have

my original foot.

We better walk.

[Brakes squeal]

Heh heh!

[Pop music playing]

you came into my life

the look in your eyes

took me by surprise

[shouting]

it's you

and nobody else...

[laughing]

Uhh--whoa.

Ok, come on.

I am descending

from heaven above

so, catch me,

I'm falling, baby

hold onto my love...

Ok, come on.

You can do it

the long way.

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

catch me now,

I'm falling...

uhh.

whoa. whoa.

Cha, cha, cha.

Cha, cha, cha. Ok.

Ok, come on.

Ryan:
Max, Max!

What...Oh!

[Laughs]

[Indistinct chattering

and video games beeping]

Thanks.

[mutters]

Oh...

Max, do you

need a hand?

Nah, I'm going good now.

Oh, watch out.

Jeez.

Oh, be careful. Oh.

Whoa.

Whoa, oh.

Oh, wait, wait,

oh, ok. Heh heh!

Yeah.

[Giggling]

oh, Max.

You wanted

mustard, right?

Um...

Actually,

i like ketchup.

Ha ha!

Oh, no, wait.

Here, I'll go get it.

Max, I'll go get it.

It's ok.

Thanks.

Man on P.A.:
Everyone

clear the floor, please.

Your next number will be

ladies' choice,

couples.

[Soft pop music playing]

I was all right

for a while

I could smile

for a while...

oh!

[giggling]

Would you believe that

i haven't been on skates

in 15 years?

Yeah, I believe it.

Wait. that means

the last time you skated,

you were 2?

I wasn't even

very good then.

Try bending your knees.

It'll help.

Heh heh heh!

So, you come here often

with Kevin?

Hardly ever. He's very

concerned about being cool.

Wait a minute. You mean,

this isn't cool?

I'm out of here.

Get back here!

Heh heh heh.

Where you're from, do you

have a girlfriend?

As a matter

of fact, I do...

Or, I did.

We were together

for 3 years.

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