High Fidelity Page #8

for a dinner party tomorrow night?

Have you ever watched a moonbeam

Can I help you?

- As it slide across your windowpane

- Hello, Rob.

Remember me? Ray. Ian.

I thought maybe we should talk.

You know, sort things out.

- What needs sorting out?

- Ten phone calls a night.

Hanging around outside my house.

- Ive stopped all of that now.

- You were there this morning.

Obviously, I know how special

Laura is, and I know how...

much pain you must be

going through right now.

I would hate it if I lost her.

Oh. Guess who?

But Id like to believe

that if she decided...

that she didnt want

to see me any more that...

I would respect those wishes.

You know what I'm saying, G?

- Yeah.

- Good.

So shall we leave it

at that then?

Ive already left it,

you pathetic rebound f***!

Now, get your patchouli stink

out of my store!

Move it, lard-ass!

Dumb motherf***er.

So, um, shall we

leave it at that then?

- Tsk. No.

- Dont! Dont!

- Hes not worth it!

- Leave town!

Leave the country!

You little b*tch!

Cause youll look back at ten

phone calls a night as the golden age!

Get ready, motherf***er!

So shall we leave it

at that then?

Get him!

- Come on! Get him!

- Get him, man!

- Have you ever watched a moonbeam

- Well, think about it, Rob.

Okay?

As it slide across

your windowpane

Hey, jelly bean.

Charles.

- How are you?

- Good. How are you?

Actually, its hilarious.

Its hilarious.

Hey, everybody!

Everybody, this is Rob.

Rob, this is everybody.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Come on in. Make yourself at home. Is that for me?

- Yeah.

- Oh, its a little warm. Ill put it in the fridge.

- I think if you get a dog...

- youve got to raise it yourself.

- Your place doesnt have a yard, does it?

- You got to deal with a dog from day one.

- Of course you do.

- You gotta take care of

it, raise it- - Yeah, but-

- Do you want a drink?

- Yeah, I would.

I can see now

that I'm doomed to die...

a long, slow suffocating death,

and I try to figure out why.

Of course theres envy.

Why isnt my life like this?

Sure, I want their money and

clothes and jobs and opinions.

And Id like to have advice

on jet lag, but thats not it.

I mean, theyre not bad people, and I'm

not a class warrior. Its something else.

- I never did. I never did. And I was very

supportive- - And then it dawned on me.

- It came down to me to tell him the truth.

- Charlies awful.

What was the truth?

- She doesnt listen to anyone. She says

terrible, stupid things... - No. Well, I have-

- and she apparently has no sense of humour

at all... - Youre right. I have to talk-

and talks sh*t all night long.

- Come here, you. Oh, I love you. - Bye-bye.

- Maybe shes been like this all along.

- Bye, sweetheart.

- Bye-bye.

- Call me tomorrow, okay?

- Thanks for having us.

Call me.

Promise to call me. Bye.

How did I manage

to edit all this out?

How had I made this girl

the answer to all the worlds problems?

- Hey, Charlie.

- Hey, Rob.

So, Charlie, whyd you

dump me for Marco?

F***! I knew it! I knew it!

I knew it! F***! F***! F***!

- What?

- You are. You are going through...

one of those

what-does-it-all-mean things.

- I cant believe you, Rob.

- Yes, I am. Very much. Indeed so.

- Oh, God.

- Come on. Answer the question.

Oh, come on, Charlie.

Dont hold back.

You can say whatever you like.

Whyd you dump me for Marco?

Marco just seemed to be

a bit more glamorous.

You know?

More sure of himself.

Less hard work.

A little sunnier.

Sparkier.

Through the park

Make love along the way

- In Mendocino

- You put that ad up?

- Yeah.

- What can you play?

Nothin.

What kind of stuff are you into?

The kind of stuff you mentioned.

But we want to be

more experimental than that.

We want to retain our pop sensibilities, but,

kind of, you know, go a little further out.

- That sounds great.

- No gigs yet.

We just got together.

Is Tuesday night cool for you?

- Well just, you know...

- What I have told you

- jam. - Yeah.

- Can you dig it

All right.

Later.

- What?

- What do you mean, what?

Youve had that poster

up on the wall for, like, 17,000 years.

And then some guy comes in off the

street. You act like its no big deal.

Its just a garage band.

Its nothing special.

- Barry, you dont even play an instrument.

- I can sing.

What, you think I'm gonna stick

around here the rest of my life?

Hey, its half past

a monkeys ass. Lets go.

Oh, I cant, um, meet you guys

at the club tonight.

- Thats the way it is in Mendocino

- Why?

- Who are you going to

see? - Mendocino - Nobody.

- Rob! Lookie, lookie! Dick, are you getting some?

- Mendocino

Un-f***ing-believable!

D*cks got a hot date!

How did this happen, Dick?

What rational explanation can there

possibly be? Whats her name?

- Anaugh.

- Anaugh? Anaugh Conda?

- Anaugh Moss.

- Anaugh Moss?

Is she all green

and fuzzy and mossy?

And you met this bruiser

where exactly?

The home for the mentally challenged

or the blind or the bus station?

Um, here. She asked me about

the, uh, new Green Day album...

- and then I told her-

- Oh, man! Finally! Anaugh.

Thats great, Dick!

Really, smoke that ass.

Listen, Rob, I cant

go to the club either.

I gotta get some lyrics

down on paper.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Well, not, uh, lyrics to get down.

But, um, uh-

So Ill see you, um, tomorrow.

- Hi, Laura.

- "Top five dream jobs. "

- Hey, thats private.

- "Number one:

"journalist for Rolling Stone

magazine, 1976 to 1979.

"Get to meet the Clash, Chrissie Hynde,

Sex Pistols, David Byrne.

"Get tons of free records.

Number two:

"producer, Atlantic Records,

Get to meet Aretha,

Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke. "

- More free records.

- "More free records and a shitload of money. "

- Yeah.

- "Number three:
any kind of musician. "

Besides classical or rap.

- "Settle for being one of the Memphis Horns or something. "

- Sure.

- "I'm not asking to be Jagger or

Hendrix or Otis Redding. " - Uh-huh.

- "Number four:
film director. "

- Any kind except German or silent.

And number five,

we have "architect. "

- Yeah.

- Seven years training.

- I'm not sure I even want to be an architect.

- So youve got a list here...

of five things youd do

if qualifications...

and time and history

and salary were no object?

- Yeah.

- One of them you dont really want to do anyway.

Well, I did put it

at number five.

Wouldnt you rather own your

own record store than be an architect?

- Yeah, I suppose.

- And you wouldnt want to be a...

or the king of France or-

- God, no.

- All right. There you go then.

Dream job number five:

record store owner.

I find it interesting that you

keep showing up here, Laura.

Well, this is the last of it.

Those bags look heavy.

Wheres Ian?

Or Ray or-

What is his f***ing name anyway?

- What do you call him? Ian or Ray?

- Ray.

- I hate Ian.

- I hate him too.

Yeah, I'm sure.

See ya.

Goodbye.

Top five things

I miss about Laura.

One:
sense of humour. Very dry,

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