Hired Gun Page #8

I'll kick myself in the ass the rest of my life.

One big issue that we were confronting at the time,

was that Randy's style of playing

was so new, so cutting edge,

that very few musicians

could actually play like that.

And Brad did a fantastic job.

There was so much pressure.

He had so much pressure on him.

And he was incredibly graceful.

Talking to the rest of the band

they said, "Hey, man, you can

branch out and do your own thing.

Just stick to the major solos,

and keep them as best as you can."

So, you know, I did that.

I tried my best to learn note for note.

But, with four days,

and 19 songs,

and I was learning on the spot.

I was... Everyday I'd practice on the road

even after I started gigging with Ozzy.

But from the start it was tough for me.

It was tough for everybody seeing me.

And I knew that.

And I just had to do what I was there to do,

and to do the best I could,

and to get them through this tour.

I remember performing at Madison Square garden,

packed house, and it was like a wake

for Randy Rhoads.

Every banner, every sign,

was about how much people loved Randy.

You know, a lot of kids in the audience,

man, they were flipping me off,

and "Randy Rhoads lives forever" signs,

and guys with their arms crossed.

I had to expect that. I'm...

filling in for the late great Randy Rhoads,

and I'm just trying to help this tour move along.

After a couple of days I went to Rudy,

I said, "I don't know if I could do this anymore.

It's tough that people don't like me."

And he goes, "Man, they'll start to respect you, man.

You just... just keep moving."

Brad Gillis...

We have to give him respect no matter what.

He and I have a lot of common thread.

We had that thing, like a beloved...

instrumentalist,

that reinvented their instrument,

Randy Rhoads/Cliff Burton.

We had to step into those shoes

that could not be filled.

Not everybody is made for that.

Metallica was already established

as a giant touring band by when ljoined them.

So, you go into these countries where

they got to see Cliff dominate, right?

So, who is this guy standing in Cliff's place now?

Some places I got tortured,

for the first couple of times we went there.

But because I stood my ground,

and took it to em',

and didn't let them get to me like I didn't.

You don't react back cause then they win.

The only way you react is by

hanging in there and being better

and singing stronger and that kind of thing.

So, I went through that kind of trial by fire,

for a couple of years,

besides doing the band,

trial by fire.

Going on stage after Randy died,

it was just a matter of surviving each show,

emotionally.

I watch myself perform, and I'm going,

"I'm not connecting with anybody here."

I'm not even looking at... around.

I'm not even looking at the audience.

I'm just going through the motions.

That's not the reason why I started playing.

I didn't want to be a robot.

I didn't want to be disconnected

with music, with my soul.

So, I had to move on.

I had to move on.

It was the toughest decision

I've ever made in my whole life,

to go from, like, people that I love,

because Sharon and Ozzy, they...

took incredible care of me.

They were gracious, you know.

But, I had to get joy back in my playing again.

I really did.

After having lost a certain gig where

it was all shut down without warning,

and then there's that sort of

gap where you're scrambling,

like a fish out of water trying...

to get back into something,

just so you can pay your bills.

I get a call from one of the

guys that I used to play with

in Mandy Moore's band,

and he says, "I'm now the musical director

for Lizzy McGuire,

a Disney artist."

I'm like,

"Who? I don't even know who that is.

Tell me more."

So I find out later that

Lizzy McGuire is Hillary Duff.

And, "They're trying to mold her into a singer,

and they kind of want to make her edgy.

They want a rock guitar player.

I thought of you. What are you doing?"

I had just come from two years on

the road playing with Vince Neil,

where it was drunk, rowdy,

you know... Big theaters, bars,

tits.

Girls French kissing in the front row.

All kinds of Rock n Roll stuff.

And then, now I'm touring stadiums packed,

but it's, like, little kids.

Some... In most cases it was their

first time ever at a concert.

The line backstage for me became,

"Okay, guys, time to scare the kids."

You know, I'll get the, "Ahhh, who's this guy?"

It was funny because I took my daughter

down to a venue in Phoenix, Arizona,

where we live to go see Hilary Duff.

And stage, left, is this, like, really cool looking,

Rock n Roll, like, heavy metal guitar player.

He's got on black jeans,

like Doc Martin, he's got a

chain hanging down, I mean...

He looked like he should have been

playing in Metallica or something.

When I saw Hilary Duff's show, and

I said, "Who's the guitar player?"

And somebody finally said, "That's Jason Hook."

And I said, "Yeah, write that name down."

Cause when I go to see other bands

I always kinda make a note of who people are.

[Hook] The second year that I was in that gig,

the craze for Hilary went off the charts.

She was so successful that the band was on retainer

which is something that doesn't happen very often.

And essentially what that means is that,

they pay you whether you're touring or not.

I did something sort of foolish.

I said, "I'm gonna be an adult now.

I'm gonna buy a house."

It wasn't long after that where I was stunned

because you literally get out of bed one day

and you open the e-mail that says, "Hey, all.

After several meetings,

with the label and the movie department,

we've decided to take Hilary's

career in a new direction,

and we're gonna shut down touring.

Thank you very much for all your support and loyalty.

And we wish all of you the best

of luck for your future."

The end.

I'm like...

Sheer terror.

It's one thing being Billy loel's drummer,

but it's another thing being the

wife of Billy loel's drummer.

I was getting divorced from my second wife.

I ended up telling her to take

everything and just leave me alone.

So, I went to Billy and I said,

"You know, if any scraps fall on the floor

maybe you could sweep them my way."

And he just looked at me and said, "I can't do that."

"I wished you'd never asked me

that. I can't do that."

lrrelative of my success

is complicating things because

everybody wants more money, more money, more more...

And I continued on the tour doing the tour,

but we didn't... Never spoke after that.

The tour ends.

And the next thing I know is

Billy's getting married again,

to his third wife.

So, I call up the keyboard player and I said...

"I guess we're not invited to the wedding?"

And he says, "I got my invitation."

You're never fired.

You're just not asked to do the next thing.

I knew it was over when

he played Madison Square garden

and I was getting calls from people

that wanted to get tickets to go.

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