His Girl Friday Page #11

THREE SHOT:

BRUCE:

How long would the interview take?

BURNS:

Oh -- an hour for the interview.

Another hour to write it.

BRUCE:

We could take the six o'clock train,

Hildy. If it would save a man's life.

HILDY:

No, Bruce, dear. Don't you see? This

is a trick to get your sympathy. No,

Walter, I've been waiting for

something like this -- but I wasn't

sure when you'd spring it. If you

want to save Earl Williams' life,

you can interview him yourself. You're

still a good reporter. Bruce and I

will be on that four o'clock train --

and thanks just the same.

BURNS:

I'm an editor. I know what ought to

be written, but I can't write it the

way you could. It needs a woman's

heart --

HILDY:

Why, Walter, you're getting poetic!

BURNS:

(to Bruce)

You see what I had to put up with?

She never trusted me! You argue with

her -- otherwise you're going on a

honeymoon with blood on your hands!

Bruce gulps.

BURNS:

How can you have any happiness after

that? All through the years you'll

remember that a man went to the

gallows because you were too selfish

to wait two hours! I tell you, Earl

Williams' face will come between you

on the train tonight -- and at the

preacher's tomorrow -- and all the

rest of your lives!

HILDY:

(breaking into applause)

What a performance! Bravo! Don't let

him fool you, Bruce -- it's only an

act!

BURNS:

What do you mean, only an act? Haven't

you got any feeling?

HILDY:

Well, it's either an act on your

part or a miracle on Sweeney's.

BURNS:

What do you mean?

HILDY:

I happen to know Sweeney was married

only three months ago. If he's got

twins this morning, I claim it was

done with mirrors.

BURNS:

(laughs, throws up

his hands)

All right, Hildy, I'm licked. But

I'll make you and Bruce a business

proposition.

HILDY:

We're not interested.

BURNS:

(to Bruce)

Maybe you'll be. You're a smart young

man. You let Hildy do this story for

me and you can write out a $100,000.00

insurance policy for me. What do you

say?

BRUCE:

I don't use my wife for business

purposes, Mr. Burns!

HILDY:

Wait a minute, Bruce. What's

commission on a $100,000.00 policy?

BRUCE:

Well, at his age, twenty payment

life, a little over a thousand

dollars.

HILDY:

And what's the matter with a thousand

dollars?

BRUCE:

But --

HILDY:

According to the budget, we laid out

that's more than our food bill for a

whole year. Listen, Bruce, I don't

want Walter Burns to use me, but I'm

perfectly willing to use him. How

long will it take to get him examined?

BRUCE:

I could get a company doctor in twenty

minutes.

BURNS:

Now you're talking!

HILDY:

(turning on Burns)

You keep out of this. Bruce, suppose

you examine Mr. Burns in his office.

I'll get my bag and go over to the

Press Room in the Criminal Courts

Building. You phone me as soon as

Mr. Burns has given you his check.

Then I'll go get the interview and

you phone Mother that we're taking

the six o'clock train.

(back to Burns)

And no tricks, Walter!

BURNS:

What tricks would I pull?

HILDY:

Oh, nothing! Of course, you might

cancel the check. Yes! Wait a minute!

What would be his first payment on

that policy?

BRUCE:

About twenty-five hundred dollars.

HILDY:

Better make that a certified check,

Walter.

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