His Girl Friday Page #30

MAYOR:

(to Sheriff)

Get the Governor on the phone!

PINKUS:

(helpfully)

You can't get him on the phone. He's

out duckshooting now.

MAYOR:

Fishing! Duckshooting! How do you

like that. A guy does nothing more

strenuous for forty years than play

pinochle -- he gets elected Governor

and right away he thinks he's Tarzan!

HARTMAN:

(thrusting the document

at the Mayor)

Read it! Insane, he says.

(shaking a finger in

Pinkus' face)

He knows very well that Williams

ain't insane!

PINKUS:

Yeah. But I --

MAYOR:

(interrupting)

Pure politics!

HARTMAN:

An attempt to ruin us!

The phone rings. Hartman starts for it.

MAYOR:

(reading)

Dementia praecox Oh-h-h!

HARTMAN:

We got to think fast before those

lying reporters get hold of this.

What'll we tell 'em?

MAYOR:

Tell 'em the party is through in

this State on account of you.

HARTMAN:

Ah, Fred --

(into phone)

Hello... this is Hartman --

MAYOR:

(apoplectic)

And you can tell 'em as an

afterthought that I want your

resignation now!

HARTMAN:

(from the phone)

Sssh. Wait, Fred.

(excitedly, into phone)

What?... Where?... Where? Holy Moses!

MAYOR:

What is it?

HARTMAN:

They got him!

(back to phone)

Wait a minute -- hold the wire.

(to the Mayor)

They got Earl Williams surrounded --

the Riot Squad has -- in his house.

MAYOR:

Tell 'em to hold the wire.

HARTMAN:

I did.

(into phone)

Hold the wire.

MAYOR:

Cover up that transmitter!

Sheriff does so. Mayor faces Cooney.

MAYOR:

Now, listen! You never arrived here

with this -- reprieve. Get it?

PINKUS:

(blinking)

Yes, I did, just now. Don't you

remember?

MAYOR:

How much do you make a week?

PINKUS:

Huh?

MAYOR:

(impatiently)

How much do you make a week? What's

your salary?

PINKUS:

(reluctantly)

Forty dollars.

HARTMAN:

(into phone)

No -- don't out me off.

MAYOR:

How would you like to have a job for

three hundred and fifty dollars a

month. That's almost a hundred dollars

a week!

PINKUS:

Who? Me?

MAYOR:

(exasperated)

Who do you think!

Pinkus is a little startled; the Mayor hastens to adopt a

milder manner.

MAYOR:

Now, listen. There's a fine opening

for a fellow like you in the City

Sealer's office.

PINKUS:

The what?

MAYOR:

The City Sealer's office!

PINKUS:

You mean here in the city?

MAYOR:

(foaming)

Yes, yes!

HARTMAN:

(at phone)

Well, wait a minute, will you? I'm

in conference.

PINKUS:

(a very deliberate

intellect)

No, I couldn't do that.

MAYOR:

Why not?

PINKUS:

I couldn't work in the city. You

see, I've got my family in the

country.

MAYOR:

(desperate)

But you could bring 'em in here!

We'll pay all your expenses.

PINKUS:

(with vast thought)

No, I don't think so.

MAYOR:

For heaven's sake, why not?

PINKUS:

I got two kids going to school there,

and if I changed them from one town

to another, they'd lose a grade.

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