His Girl Friday Page #52

MAYOR:

That's a horrible thing to say, Miss

Johnson, about anybody!

(to Burns)

Now, look here, Walter, you're an

intelligent man --

BURNS:

(interrupting)

Just a minute.

(to Pinkus)

All right, Mr. Pinkus. Let's have

your story.

PINKUS:

Well, I been married for ten years

and --

BURNS:

(interrupting)

Skip all that.

MAYOR:

(loudly)

Take those handcuffs off our friends,

Pete. That wasn't at all necessary.

HARTMAN:

(springing to obey)

I was just going to!

He gets the key from the officer.

MAYOR:

Walter, I can't tell you how badly I

feel about this. There was no excuse

for Hartwell to fly off the handle.

HARTMAN:

(unlocking the

handcuffs)

I was only doing my duty. Nothing

personal in it.

They are set free.

HILDY:

You guys better quit politics and

take in washing.

MAYOR:

(looking over the

reprieve)

Sheriff, this document is authentic!

Earl Williams has been reprieved,

this Commonwealth has been spared

the painful necessity of shedding

blood.

BURNS:

Save that for the Tribune.

MAYOR:

(to Pinkus)

What did you say your name was --

Pinkus?

PINKUS:

That's right.

He shows the Mayor a locket.

PINKUS:

Here's the picture of my wife.

MAYOR:

A very fine-looking women.

PINKUS:

(mysteriously angered)

She's good enough for me! And if I

was to go home and tell my wife --

MAYOR:

I understand perfectly, Mr. Pinkus,

and as long as I am Mayor --

BURNS:

Which ought to be about three hours

more, I'd say.

HILDY:

Just until we can get out a special

edition asking for your impeachment.

BURNS:

And your arrest. You'll each get

about ten years, I think.

MAYOR:

Don't make any hasty decisions, Mr.

Burns, you might run into a thumping

big libel suit.

HILDY:

You're going to run into the Governor.

MAYOR:

(trying to brush it

off)

Now, my old friend the Governor and

I understand each other perfectly.

HARTMAN:

(eagerly)

And so do I!

MAYOR:

(with superb contempt)

So do you what, you hoodoo!

(to Pinkus, suavely)

And now, Mr. Pinkus, if you'll come

with us, we'll take you over to the

Warden's office and deliver this

reprieve.

The Sheriff, Pinkus and the Mayor go out of scene.

BURNS:

(dreamily)

Wait till those two future jailbirds

read the Morning Post tomorrow.

Walter turns to Hildy and they suddenly smile at each other.

HILDY:

How was that for a tight squeeze?

BURNS:

Don't tell me you were worried!

HILDY:

Worried! I was petrified. Weren't

you?

BURNS:

Uh-uh. As long as we were in there

together pitching -- they couldn't

lick us. Well, it's been a lot of

fun.

HILDY:

In a way.

BURNS:

(laughs)

I mean -- working together. Just

like the old days. The things we've

been through, Hildy.

HILDY:

We've certainly been in some swell

jams.

BURNS:

Remember the time we broke into the

D.A.'s office, and copied Fifi

Randell's diary?

HILDY:

Yeah. What about the time we hid the

missing heiress in the sauerkraut

factory? Six scoop interviews!

BURNS:

Yeah - but that time we stole Old

Lady Haggerty's stomach off the

Coroner's physician. We proved she

was poisoned though, didn't we?

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