His Girl Friday Page #9

BRUCE:

No. My mother.

BURNS:

(he gets it and

underlines it)

Oh. Your mother -- well, of course,

that relieves my mind.

HILDY:

(to Bruce)

Isn't it sweet of Walter -- still

wanting to protect me?

She gives Burns that too-sweet look.

BURNS:

(apparently taking

this at face value)

I know I wasn't a good husband, Hildy,

but you can always count on me.

TWO SHOT - FEATURING BRUCE AND HILDY

BRUCE:

(a little cookily)

I don't think she'll need you very

much -- I aim to do most of the

protecting myself.

He pats Hildy's arm -- she smiles at him.

THREE SHOT - HILDY, BRUCE AND BURNS

BURNS:

Well, I'll tell you one thing, old

man, she never looked at me the way

she's looking at you.

HILDY:

I might have, Walter, but you were

never there.

BURNS:

Anyway, I'm glad you two are going

to be happy and have all the things

I couldn't give her. You know, Hildy

is about the best reporter in the

country -- and that goes regardless

of sex. But all she really ever wanted

was a home.

BRUCE:

Well, I'll try to give her one.

BURNS:

I know you will, Bruce. Are you going

to live with your mother?

BRUCE:

Just for the first year.

BURNS:

(sighing)

That'll be nice. A home with mother.

A real honeymoon. In Albany, too.

Ow!

That "ow" is sotto voce, but it's the direct result of a

kick under the table from Hildy.

BRUCE:

Mighty nice little town, Albany.

They've got the State Capitol there,

you know.

BURNS:

Yes, I know...

(he chuckles)

Hildy, will you ever forget the night

you brought the Governor back to

your hotel room and found me taking

a bath? She didn't even know I was

in town...

His laugh stops cold and he clutches for his shin again.

Hildy just looks. Providentially, the waiter enters the scene.

GUS:

Well, here we are.

He begins serving them.

BURNS:

(trying to pick up

again after a second)

How's business, Bruce?

BRUCE:

Well, Albany's a mighty good insurance

town. Most people there take it out

pretty early in life.

BURNS:

I don't blame them.

Gus, who has just managed to come between Hildy and Burns,

lets out a startled "ouch".

HILDY:

Oh, I'm sorry, Gus! My foot must

have slipped.

GUS:

(a pained expression

belies his words)

That's all right.

BURNS:

I sometimes wish I'd taken out

insurance -- but, of course, now it

doesn't matter. Still, I suppose it

would have been the smart thing to

do.

BRUCE:

Well, I honestly feel that way. I

figure I'm in one line of business

that really helps people. Of course,

we don't help you much when you're

alive -- but afterward -- that's

what counts.

BURNS:

I see what you mean.

They fall to.

CLOSE SHOT - HILDY

She sips her coffee and acts surprised.

HILDY:

Gus, this --

CLOSEUP - GUS

GUS:

(winking)

Good coffee, isn't it?

CLOSEUP - HILDY

She smiles and winks back, and takes another sip.

GROUP SHOT AT TABLE

Gus starts to go.

BRUCE:

You've forgotten my milk.

GUS:

Oh. The milk. Yes.

He leaves scene, shaking his head. Burns sips his coffee. He

likes it. He lifts his cup to Hildy.

BURNS:

Here's luck to the bride and

bridegroom.

HILDY:

(lifts cup)

Thank you.

BRUCE:

(looking for something

to respond with --

apologetically)

He hasn't brought my milk yet.

A bus boy comes into scene and stops before Burns.

BUS BOY:

They want you on the phone, Mr. Burns.

BURNS:

They would!

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