His Kind of Woman Page #5

One time a dame walked into my room,

just like you did right now.

She'd been out in the rain.

You know, I pressed

her dress dry for her.

What did she do?

Went in the kitchen,

poured me some coffee.

I think you're the strangest man

I ever knew.

What makes you think you know me?

What do you want me to do, leave?

I want you to go out

and pour the coffee.

I've never been so bored

in my whole life.

Maybe I ought to go home

and iron my own money.

If you didn't have so much.

For 2 cents I'd pull out of here tonight.

That's all the change I've got.

Look, it's a bad night.

Along about the cool of the morning,

the farmer will get his cow back.

You had a little beef.

Tomorrow you'll be rid of it.

Tomorrow? That's a laugh.

Tomorrow, his wife arrives.

I hate to spoil the joke for you,

but I didn't know he had a wife.

When I first met him,

she was planning a divorce.

She went to Reno three months ago.

I thought by now...

Is it really that funny?

It reminds me of a time

I was playing high card with a guy.

I got him up to $30,000...

...and we both discovered

that neither one of us had a dime.

Is that supposed to be...?

Who is that idiot?

I think it's somebody

who wants to see me real bad.

Tex, tell them to put out

some more flares.

Welcome to Morro's Lodge, Senor Lusk.

For a while, we thought all was lost.

It's still lost, senor.

Been lost for 10,000 years.

Well, you see how it is.

Fools get away with the impossible.

That's because they're

the only ones who try it.

Where have you been?

I looked for you all day.

I stayed in bed.

Nimrod went hunting again.

I'm afraid I was a little

out of my precinct last night.

With me?

Yeah, with you.

Do you want me to forget it?

- I want you to forget it.

- It's forgotten.

- I lost my head...

- It's forgotten, isn't it?

All right.

- Where is Mr. Cardigan?

- How should I know?

I'm sorry.

Were you in love with me last night?

Yeah.

But tonight you're not?

I guess that's the way I affect people.

Maybe it's just that you affect

the wrong people.

Shall we forget it again?

I have to.

Well, there she is. Right on schedule.

That'll be splendid, but I wish

you'd do one other little thing for me.

Anything at all.

- It'll be quite a surprise for Cardigan.

- A surprise?

She asked Morro not to tell Mark

she was coming down...

...but being a discreet hotelkeeper,

he told me.

The idiot's bringing her over here.

I'd like you to meet

our newest arrival, Mrs. Cardigan.

- This is Miss Brent and Mr. Milner.

- How do you do?

- I seem to have heard of you.

- I met your husband in Europe.

He meets so many people.

So many women.

But I suppose that's the price

a moving-picture star has to pay.

- Well, it's a living.

- Would you like to dance, Miss Brent?

I'd hate it,

but under the circumstances...

You'll forgive us?

I don't wanna dance.

Take me out of here.

It's a good thing you're so rich.

Is that remark

supposed to mean something?

I haven't met as many

rich dames as I'd like to...

...but I know one thing:

They all have a terror

of talking about their dough.

Maybe they feel guilty.

Maybe you don't.

Maybe the fact that Cardigan is married

doesn't even worry you.

Listen, if I was as phony

as a three-dollar bill...

...you still have no right

to that rock in your hand.

Excuse me, senorita.

It is Senor Cardigan's wish

that you come to his cabin.

You, too, senor. Thank you.

Now comes the showdown.

No. When that happens,

he won't invite me.

Come on, let's go see what he wants.

Come on in, my friends, come on in.

Get a load of this.

You never tasted duck

in your miserable lives like this one.

A la Cardigan. Soaked in sherry

with only salt and sage and pepper.

And butchered by the chef himself,

a la Cardigan.

Shot, my pet, shot. Mix yourselves

a drink while I put this on, huh?

- That's a pretty weapon.

- It's a gift from his fan club.

Darling, would you set the table for three?

I'll set it for four.

- You got somebody else coming?

- You have.

Fine, fine. Who?

- A Mrs. Helen Cardigan.

- Fine.

Who? Who?

Your wife. Surely you remember her.

Here? She here?

She here.

Isn't somebody gonna answer it?

- Come right in.

- I'm looking for Cardigan.

Gerald!

Gerald, this is a real surprise.

Come on in.

- Is it, Mark? I wired you five times.

- Were they from you?

If you'd opened them,

you might have found out.

Yeah. Lenore, Lenore, I would like you to

meet my personal manager, Gerald Hobson.

This is Lenore Brent. This is Dan...

- Milner.

- Milner.

- How do you do?

- I suppose you know Helen is here?

- Yes, I just heard. She didn't...

- Get the divorce? No, lucky for you.

The papers have been having a field day

at your expense.

A field day? Why?

Seems the male half of America's

most happily married couple...

...is down here making a fool of himself

with a dame.

That would be me.

- Who's happily married?

- Very probably, no one.

But I'm afraid you're

a victim of your own publicity, Mark.

- You're not as young as you used to be.

- Neither is my 10-year-old nephew.

We're starting to negotiate

a new contract in three weeks...

...but not if this is still going on.

Maybe this is none of my business.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Nothing is private in Hollywood.

- I know, you just work there.

- Look, Gerald, I owe you a lot.

But I'm not a kid trying to get a break.

It's about time I lived my own life.

Going to Reno was Helen's answer

to something called incompatibility.

I have a right to my happiness too.

How happy do you think you'll be

without a contract?

What's compatible about that?

I brought Helen here,

and you're gonna be reconciled.

People take marriage seriously, Mark,

and they have a right to expect you to.

- Which I do, but...

- But what?

Yeah, buck, but what?

Tell him about us.

Tell him how this is different.

That's right, Gerald.

This is different.

I know you won't believe me...

...but then, I've never been

in love before.

What's happening here?

Are you looking for a settlement?

Is that it?

And Cardigan's in no position

to refuse one, is he?

Obviously.

May I go now,

or would you like it from me too?

And it was gonna be

such a beautiful dinner.

Thanks.

Really.

I'm a social outcast.

Nobody's speaking to me.

I'll speak to you.

What would you like to talk about?

- Myself, naturally.

- That's a funny coincidence.

That's just what I wanted to talk about.

Why don't you and I get out of here.

- I'm scared to walk.

- Lean on me.

Come on, we'll go over

to your joint and shake it up.

Now you're talking my language.

I'm with you, buddy.

Where you go, Lusk go.

For he's a rambling wreck

From Georgia Tech

He sure is.

You don't have to hold me up, buddy.

I was the greatest scatback

that ever lost to Notre Dame.

I know I don't have to hold you,

but for a different reason.

You drink like a B-girl.

- What did you say?

- You drink like a B-girl.

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