Hit and Run

No, no, no. No. Come on. Come on.

No, no, no. I can't. I gotta go!

All right. All right. Cheers. Come on.

- Mary! Come on!

- Come back.

Oh! Mary, what's this?

You slipping out on me?

No. I was looking for you. I just...

I have to go home, Rick. I'm exhausted.

Come on, Mary. It's f***ing spring break.

No, Rick. I'm wiped, okay?

I have to go home. I'm sorry.

You can watch me dance.

I got a new move.

Oh!

Yeah, that's funny.

Get out of the f***ing road!

Hey, learn how to drive, you f***ing prick!

F*** you!

Hey. Hey! Forgetting something?

Okay, Rick, I really have to go.

- What's with you tonight?

- Rick...

Look at me, I'm exhausted. I just...

I have to go home, okay?

I'll call you. I promise.

- Sure you're good to drive?

- Yeah.

Yes. I'm fine.

All right.

Take care.

Okay.

WNPC, New Jersey.

Hey, you kids out there on joyrides,

spring break is here!

This is Eddie the Spaz

coming to you this Friday night,

and the countdown begins right now

to a nonstop weekend Spaz-a-thon,

with me, the Super Spaz.

No sleep, no breaks,

just me and you, my little rodents.

Meanwhile, the weather just in

from Mexico City,

chilly tonight, hot tamale.

- Yeah, baby.

- Oh, dear God.

Yes.

Sh*t!

Damn.

Sh*t. Come on.

Sh*t!

Mary, honey, it's Mom.

Dad's boss invited us to his boathouse

for the weekend. Couldn't say no.

We'll be back on Monday.

Have a great weekend. Love you.

Honey, parrots?

Oh, don't forget

to pick up the parrots tomorrow.

Hello?

Sh*t.

Hello?

Hi.

I'm going to help you.

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

What?

What?

Yes? Yes? You can hear me?

I'm going to help you, okay?

Get off me.

Sh*t.

Ladies and gentlemen...

This morning, the town

of Baltimore is trying to come to terms

with 24 hours of...

What the hell? All right...

Murder, mayhem

And aliens...

Now here's Dick with the sports.

Morning, ma'am.

Can I help you?

My bumper's dented, can you check it?

Sure.

Let me guess. Cell phone.

That's quite a bit of work there.

Can you leave it overnight?

No, no, overnight, that doesn't work.

Well, there's a garage over on First Street.

You could try them.

They're not gonna tell you

nothing new, though.

So, you want me to fix it or not?

Listen, why don't you get out

and just leave it to me?

You know what, I'm gonna come back later.

- Hi, Mom.

- Mary?

I've been trying to get you all morning.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's good. Why?

- You sound a little funny.

- Mom, I'm fine.

Did you pick up Grandma's parrots

at the airport?

Uh, no, it's not a good day.

I'll do it Monday, okay?

Sweetheart, no, no, no,

you really need to pick them up today.

Right, yeah, okay. I'll go.

I need you to pick them up right now,

as a matter of fact.

It's Saturday, and the place shuts at 1:00.

Right, Mom, I know. Okay.

I'll drop everything. I'm going, okay?

Mary, you sure you're okay?

Yeah.

Sorry, it's just...

It was a late night.

All right, sweetheart, I love you.

Love you, too.

F***.

Five more minutes

and these babies were on their way

to the tweet-tweet orphanage.

Nice talking to you, too!

Come on, come on, come on.

- Sorry, my nerves are just a little raw.

- Okay, sugar.

F***. Come on.

What's the best way to cover a small dent?

Make a bigger one, right?

Cover the first collision?

Okay, Mary,

you're losing it.

You're losing it, okay?

You're losing it, okay? Just...

F***. Okay, just...

Stop, Mary, just think. Think, okay? Okay?

The trout season officially opened

this weekend in Colombo.

All the old hands will try their luck

hooking a trophy specimen again this year.

Me? I guess about the only thing

I'll catch is the cold.

Thanks, Julia. Speaking of cold, John,

what's the weekend weather forecast?

Sadly, the kindergarten teacher was

reported missing by his wife Friday night.

I gave him a kiss good night,

and the next thing I know, he's gone.

His cell phone, his watch,

his shoes are still by the bed.

Timothy, if you're out there,

please come back, please.

I love you. Andy misses you.

We both miss you so, so much.

Detectives were canvassing hospitals

last night,

providing Mr. Emser's description.

Emser is a well-respected teacher

for the past five years at

the Colombo Elementary County School.

...little lamb, little lamb

Mary had a little lamb

its fleece was white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went...

Hey, where you been, man?

You've been raging since last night, huh?

Why didn't you call me?

What's wrong with you?

What, you got another guy in here? Huh?

Yo, a**hole, show your face!

You wouldn't be that stupid.

Look at you.

- What?

- Well, you look like sh*t.

What's up with you?

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing?

I know you. Something's up. What...

Nothing.

- Where'd you go last night?

- Nowhere, nothing. It's just...

- So you came back home?

- Yes, I was at home.

Okay, then why didn't you

answer my calls?

I just... I was just... I was...

- Who were you with?

- Stop it. Nothing.

- Okay, so then why didn't you call me?

- Nothing! Okay, I killed a man!

All right, well, if it's just that,

I know a great place upstate

where we can go and no one will find him.

I'm not joking.

- Not a joke.

- Enough, all right? It's not funny anymore.

The schoolteacher, the...

What are you talking about?

The f***ing... The schoolteacher!

Why aren't you listening?

I am listening to you.

You're not making any f***ing sense.

The schoolteacher!

His wife is, like, all over the news,

like Elmer, Ester,

I don't know, just someone!

You're talking about the guy on TV,

singing with the kids

and the nursery rhymes and sh*t?

- Huh?

- Yes, I...

I killed him.

Okay. Okay, cut it out, all right?

You know...

What's the matter with you?

That's not funny.

I'm not... He was...

He was in the garage

and stuck to the car, and I hit him and I...

I killed him.

You hit him?

Look at me.

You're not f***ing around with me, right?

That's some heavy sh*t, Mary.

I killed him.

All right, just... Just...

- I killed him.

- Okay, okay, all right.

Okay, okay.

- I didn't see him and I killed him.

- Okay, all right, all right.

- Stop. Stop. Okay, okay.

- I killed him!

- I know, I know.

- I killed him.

- I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

- I know. Okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

I just...

I told him I was gonna help him,

and then he just...

He started attacking me, so I just...

I hit him with a golf club.

You hit him with a golf club?

Oh, my God. You're f***ing nuts.

Don't yell at me.

I'm not yelling at you,

but I need to know what happened.

All right, Mary? You want to know why?

'Cause you're gonna need my help.

Trust me on that.

I just...

I just panicked.

He was just lying on the bumper like some

demented, dying animal,

and he was just screaming at me,

and he just...

He started to, like, attack me,

and he just wouldn't stop, and so,

I just grabbed the first thing I saw

and it was a golf club,

and I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

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