Hold Up Down

---

I'll open it.

The subway!

Look at us! We can't escape

dressed like this!

What'll we do, man?

No one saw our faces.

Let's stash this and

get it later.

Hurry!

What're you doing?

It costs 300 yen.

So pay it.

My wallet's in the car.

Why'd you do that?

Why'd you get such tight outfits?

The baggy ones look dorky.

Disguises are supposed to be ditched.

But this is all we got on!

It doesn't even have pockets

for Chrissake!

We'll go back and apologize.

We'll say it was a prank.

It's not too late.

It's too late.

Maybe not.

Welcome!

Sorry.

We didn't mean it.

It's too late, huh?

Yup.

What is that voice I hear?

Arriving like a knock on a door

A wakeup call to action

A summons I can't ignore

A torn ticket to freedom

sits in my pocket

Waiting to be used

So my heart tells me to go

and take the plunge

To cast care to the wind

With every flower of the world

I come to receive your love

You and I can live among the stars

Basking in each other's light

With every flower of the world

I come to...

Got change?

Not enough, no.

With every flower of the world...

- Catchy tune?

- Very.

"Wakaba Police Station"

"Wakaba Police Station"

Let's see if I got this right...

"Wakaba Police Station"

Your husband beat you...

you're lost...

your cat ran away...

a pervert felt you up...

and you were robbed 500 yen.

800 yen.

All right. First...

you two switch places.

How's that?

Let's try again.

Your husband beat you...

a pervert grabbed you...

your cat ran away...

you're lost...

robbed 500 yen.

800 yen!

Better.

I agree.

Could we hurry it up?

Silence! First, we establish

an order. Order is everything.

At banks, hospitals, city hall...

everywhere, stupid.

Some guy just hit me with a bat.

This complicates matters.

It sure does.

Okay, how about standing right

between these two?

Make room.

Shouldn't he come after me?

Mister, can't you see he's bleeding?

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Sure but...

Who's in worse shape, huh?

You, who lost a mere 500 yen?

Or this gentleman who's

bleeding from the head!?

But everyone's been waiting.

You could show a little more,

you know... compassion.

Never mind. Time's a wasting.

Run it by me again.

Yes, Sir. Beaten by husband...

beaten by thug...

felt up by pervert...

Officer! Officer!

Arrest this man!

He's a serious criminal!

That's him! The guy who hit me

with a bat!

You don't mean he's...?

It's him!

The "Aluminum Batsman!"

It's him all right!

Here's proof!

Thank you for your help.

We'll handle it from here.

What, no reward?

Cheapskates.

Okay you! Squeeze in here.

Make room, people.

What a day, huh, Chief?

Hey... concrete jungle.

Right.

Police... what!?

Affirmative!

Bank robbery!

Two guys dressed as Santa Claus!

They're the ones that mugged me!

Really?

Positive!

Okay, change places with him.

Good! Once more, please.

Hit by husband, hit withbat,

hit bybat...

fondled by pervert... cat ran away...

robbed of change... is lost.

Don't move!

Hey, man! You okay!?

Now you've done it.

I think I killed him.

That's what you get for flooring it

all the time.

Cops aren't supposed to

run people over.

Oh God... oh God!

What'll I do?

Hey, he just swallowed something.

Looked like a key.

Homeless, huh?

Yeah.

Well, there are no witnesses...

except for me.

I'm broke.

Can you help me out?

I'd sure like a new gun.

Excuse me?

This yakuza I know says he'll

sell me one... pricy, though.

But that's illegal.

Who's going to find out?

I'm dying to shoot someone.

How many kids you got? Six?

Must be hard work.

If their daddy's dismissed from

the force, how're they gonna eat?

Today's Christmas Eve, right?

Daddy's gotta buy presents.

I gotcha.

What?

I'll pay you.

Good. Go grab the other end.

Damn! It won't open.

Pry it open with something.

Would you come with us, gents?

Something wrong, Officer?

Where shall we dump him?

The woods?

There's gotta be some place good.

I should've asked the yakuza

I busted the other day.

Come on! Help me out here.

You're the one who hit him.

And look, you're flooring it again.

What the hell's wrong with you?

You get behind the wheel and

you get possessed.

The other day, you were diving like

a maniac, mumbling sh*t like...

"Into the turn at 220 mph!"

You ain't cut out to drive.

Shut up.

What?

I said, "shut the hell up!"

Why should I?

I like...

cars.

I love motor sports!

Stop it! Slow down!

Slow down, damn it!

Scared...? Huh?

Okay, so I ran over some guy!

Big deal!

Who's gonna miss a homeless...?

I gotta pee.

Hey, where'd he go?

He's gone!

Father in heaven, forgive me.

But I...

can no longer do your work.

I've failed you.

Chill out!

I'm sorry.

But I no longer deserve to live.

Long hair... scraggly beard...

ragged clothes...

It can't be.

Could this be...

the Lord Jesus?

I didn't know he was Asian.

Are you alive?

My Lord...? My Lord?

I'll get you to a hospital.

We nabbed the "Aluminum Batsman!"

Okay.

We have returned!

Sit down.

We're drowning in suspects.

They're all yours.

I'm here for your statement.

Statement? Sure thing.

Uh, let's see...

I'm Choji Kimata, age 29, single.

Relax.

I'm into photography.

My pet phrase is

"reserved seating."

Listen, I...

Turtle!

I had a pet turtle. People tell me

I'm good with animals.

I dream of owning a pet shop.

I'm interested in volunteer

and disaster relief work!

Giving to charity.

More recently...

I've taken a strong position on

the environment and education...

issues such as agoraphobia and

bullying in schools.

Now more than ever, family values are

called into question.

Someday, if I get married

and become a father...

I want to take my kids on trains.

Trains?

That's correct. I love trains.

Especially state-of-the-art,

eco-friendly train car design.

Barrier-free, low energy,

low maintenance...

Tobu 50,000 Series!

You like... trains, too?

Yes!

How about the new Nankai commuter?

2300 Series!

Stainless steel commuter...

3300 and 3150 series!

My dream is to charter an Izu Express

2100 from Tokyo Station...

and get married on it.

A "bridal train?"

Yes.

Move it, God damn it!

Have you no mercy?

I'm transporting the Lord here!

God shall smite you!

Hold on, My Lord.

I'll save you, I promise!

You identified the "Batsman" as he

passed you on the road?

From the other direction?

Yes, well, that's what's called

"police instincts."

You'll develop those someday.

What's this?

Found it in a towed away vehicle

near the bank robbery.

Could have some relevance.

Instinct tells me...

no relevance.

Hey, Hoshino.

A word with you, please.

Coming.

We'll release the suspects,

follow them to the money...

and grab it for ourselves.

What?

They can't report it stolen.

We'll be home free!

Well, I'm not going along with it.

Yes, you are "Mr. Hit-and-run."

Hey... check this out.

A gun from the sleeve.

Just like in "Taxi Driver."

Cool, huh?

The spring action's a bit touchy.

I'll need to fix that.

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