Holiday Affair Page #7

than I have and I'm not going to try.

If there's anything about it

that's bothering you, it can stop...

Well, because he's leaving anyway.

He's going to California to build boats.

- Going away?

- Boats?

Yes, boats.

Those things that float on water.

He's going to build them.

I'm never going to see him...

...so why don't we open up our presents

and have a nice Christmas?

Mr. Mason?

No, Johnson. Police department.

Police?

- What in the world?...

- I don't know.

I'm looking for a Mrs. Ennis.

- I'm Mrs. Ennis.

- I'm Mrs. Ennis.

The Mrs. Ennis who was sitting on a park

bench at 8:
00 this morning, if she was?

- That's me.

- Do you know a man named Steve Mason?

What's the matter?

Something happen to him?

He's in a lot of trouble.

You might be able to clear it up for him.

Oh, yes. What is it?

What kind of trouble?

The lieutenant said I shouldn't talk.

But if you'll come with me,

why, he'll listen to you.

- Get your coat, dear.

- All right.

- I'm going too.

- I don't think you should.

I gotta. He's my friend, isn't he?

Well, all right. But hurry.

And shortly before 9 this morning

in Central Park...

...a Mr. Mervin Fisher

was hit on the head...

...tied up with a necktie...

...and robbed of a wallet

containing $ 120...

...and a pair of silver

salt and pepper shakers...

...a present for his aunt in Flushing.

A little later, Officer McCleary,

patrolling the park...

...noticed Mr. Mason

loitering suspiciously.

He admitted that he was unemployed,

homeless...

...about to leave town

and that the necktie belonged to him.

The salt and pepper shakers

were found on his person.

I'm sorry. I just thought it

was gonna be much worse.

You expected the suspect

to be involved in a serious crime?

- Oh, no, no, nothing like that.

- Connie.

- Lieutenant, I'm a lawyer and...

- Is that so?

If I ever need a lawyer, I'll send for you.

If I ever need a comical cop,

I'll send for you.

I'm defending this man,

with your permission.

With my profound gratitude,

but with probably no fee.

Why isn't Mervin Fisher here

to identify the suspect?

Because he didn't see who hit him.

And he had to get to Flushing

to see his aunt?

Was Mr. Mason searched to see whether

the stolen money was on his person?

Searched?

They looked four times in my ears.

You must have liked that cell

you were in, bud.

Sorry. No more jokes.

No, he didn't have the money.

- All he had was $ 7.52.

Well, then?

Well, then, nothing. There's nothing easier

to dump than money.

I haven't got enough men

to look under every rock in the park.

Lieutenant, I think I can clear this up.

Go ahead, ma'am...

...if, uh, Clarence Darrow here

hasn't any objections.

You've no idea how interested I am.

I was with Mr. Mason in the park

from 8 to 9 this morning.

He gave his necktie to a man he thought

was a hobo as a Christmas present.

A few minutes later a little girl on

roller skates with a balloon on her head...

...came with a present for him

from the hobo.

The salt and pepper shakers.

A little girl on roller skates

with a balloon on her head.

Would you tell me whether a complaint

has been lodged against Mr. Mason?

- What's he got to do with this, anyway?

- He's my lawyer.

He's my fianc.

We're to be married New Year's Day.

Oh, I see. He's your fianc.

On New Year's Day,

you're gonna marry the counselor here?

That's right.

Then what were you doing in the park

with this guy 8:
00 Christmas morning?

I don't see what this has to do

with the case.

Oh, you don't, huh?

No.

Well, I wanted to see him

and he was in the park.

He eats there with the seals.

You see, early this morning

a train arrived.

An electric train for my boy, Timmy,

from Mr. Mason.

The guy's without a job. Broke.

Without a bed to sleep in

and he buys a kid an electric train.

- Why?

- Well, it's Christmas.

Let's say I felt like giving somebody

a present...

...and I didn't know anybody else

in New York.

Is that why you gave that hobo

your necktie?

Oh, I had just given Mr. Mason a new tie,

the one he's wearing now.

This morning, after his present arrived...

You mind telling me where you bought

a tie 8:
00 Christmas morning?

Oh, she had the tie.

It was under the tree.

It was one of the presents

she had for him.

The relationships of the parties involved

have nothing to do with this case.

You've nothing but the weakest

circumstantial evidence.

Oh, I don't know.

Why did he hide behind the rock

when he saw the policeman?

I wasn't hiding.

What were you doing?

You'll never believe this.

Oh, I might.

Go ahead. Try me.

I was feeding a squirrel.

He's an orphan. He depends on me.

The guy's without a job,

gives Christmas presents to a tramp.

Gets Christmas presents...

...from a little girl

with a balloon on her head.

Eats in the park with the seals.

Is a mother and father

to an orphan squirrel.

You don't think this guy's

a suspicious character?

Everything we've said is true.

Don't you believe us?

Oh, sure.

Everything you said jibed

with what he said before you got here.

I'm just saying...

...maybe this guy shouldn't be

allowed out without a keeper.

But can't he go free?

I'd have to let him if he weren't

planning to skip town.

Oh, I'm not. I've got a room downtown.

137 Christopher Street.

Changed your mind, huh?

Gonna stick around for a while, huh?

Well, just till I can earn

the fare to California.

I've got a job there.

Why don't you touch him for it?

I'll bet he'd be glad

to get you a ticket to California...

...or the moon, just to get rid of you.

Now, look here, lieutenant...

- That's all. Case dismissed.

Thank you.

- And merry Christmas.

It only looked like I was trying

to send you to the chair.

I didn't think you were

for more than a minute or two.

Not entirely for the lieutenant's reasons...

...but why don't you let me

write a check for your fare?

What if you don't get a job?

They don't hire between

Christmas and New Year's.

Besides, it's only a loan.

You can send it back.

No, thanks anyway,

but I'm planning to break the...

You should pardon the expression.

- Tie that binds.

Mom, why can't Steve come home

and have Christmas dinner with us?

Oh, honey, I don't think... Uh...

He must have plans of his own.

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't know anyone except us.

He said so in there.

It costs a lot of money

to eat in a restaurant.

- And we got a big turkey at home, Steve.

- Oh, thanks, Timmy.

- I'd love to, but I really can't.

- Oh, Mom. Come on, Steve.

Please. Please.

And, you know, I like it so much,

I couldn't take it off.

I may pick out all your clothes

from now on.

Grandpa, kiss Grandma.

Oh, sure.

- Hold it.

Now take me.

There.

- Well, how about seconds?

Now, you just sit still.

Remember, I'm the waiter here.

- Then wait.

- What?

- I made a joke.

- Oh...

- I want a drumstick.

- All right.

- How many legs you think a turkey has?

- They ought to have four like a horse.

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