Holidaze Page #5

SO I DIDN'T ERASE

YOUR HANDWRITING.

I KEPT BUYING BANANAS

AND TOILET PAPER

AND--AND--AND PAPER TOWEL

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

OH, THIS IS

SO SADISTICALLY SATISFYING.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

FOR YEARS, I HAVE WONDERED

IF YOU WERE TORTURED

WHEN I LEFT,

AND NOW I GET TO HEAR

FIRSTHAND!

JUST COME BACK IN THE HOUSE.

PLEASE? COME ON.

IT'S FREEZING. COME ON.

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME

AFTER ME?

WHAT?

YOU TOLD ME.

NO, I WAITED... AND WAITED,

AND YOU NEVER CAME.

AND EVENTUALLY,

THE FEELINGS:

OF--OF SUCCESS FILLED UP

THE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS,

AND THEN ALL THE MEN--

THEY COVERED UP:

MEMORIES OF YOU, AND THEN,

THE--THE--THE--THE HIGHS

OF MY CAREER LEVELED OU THE LOWS

OF YOU NEVER COMING BACK

FOR ME.

YOU TOLD ME THA IF YOU LOVED SOMETHING,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SET IT FREE

AND SEE IF IT COMES BACK!

THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING

I'VE EVER HEARD.

WHAT AM I,

A FREAKIN' BOOMERANG?

HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN

ONE ROMANTIC COMEDY?

YOU ARE THE GUY. YOU'RE SUPPOSED

TO CHASE AFTER THE GIRL YOU LOVE

AND STOP HER FROM GETTING

ON THE AIRPLANE.

YOU TOOK MY CAR!

IT'S A METAPHOR!

IT WAS 14 YEARS AGO!

YEAH, I REMEMBER I LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MELODY?

HOME. AGAIN!

NO, NO! THERE'S NOWHERE

TO GO, MELODY!

HEY, CAN YOU STOP

CALLING ME "MELODY"?

(car door closes,

engine starts)

(birds twittering)

(sighs)

(horn blaring)

(blaring continues)

(crying)

WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

(groans)

(horn continues blaring)

MEL? WHAT ARE YOU DOING

OUT HERE, HONEY?

OH, SWEETIE. COME ON IN.

ANGELA'S HERE, TOO.

I BARELY MADE IT PAS THE CEMETERY.

DEAD PEOPLE GOT FURTHER

OUT OF THIS TOWN THAN I DID.

HONEY, AS LONG AS

YOU'RE SITTING THERE,

WHY DON'T YOU MASH

SOMETHING?

TOMORROW'S THANKSGIVING,

AND IT'S NOT GONNA STOP

FOR A CONCUSSION.

HOW COULD TOMORROW BE

THANKSGIVING ALREADY?

UGH.

AM I SUCH A MALCONTEN THAT...

I MADE UP A WHOLE NEW LIFE

SO DIFFEREN FROM THE ONE

I ALREADY HAD?

HARDLY. YOU'RE THE COUPLE

EVERYONE LOVES TO HATE.

HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS,

STILL IN LOVE.

REALLY?

MEL, WE'VE HAD

THESE DISCUSSIONS.

I MEAN, OF COURSE YOU WONDER

WHAT IT WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE

IF YOU'D NEVER LEFT CHICAGO.

I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T?

BIG-TIME EXECUTIVE,

LIVING IN A HIGH-RISE,

SPENDING YOUR MONEY

ON WHATEVER YOU WAN WITH... WHOEVER YOU WANT.

SORRY.

LOOK, I...

GOT A BAD ONE.

YOU SAW ME THROUGH THAT.

BUT CARTER...

(clicks teeth)

CARTER'S ONE OF THE GOOD ONES.

IT'S A GOOD TIME OF YEAR,

HONEY,

TO BE COUNTING:

ONE'S BLESSINGS. MM.

AND FROM WHERE:

I'M STANDING,

YOU HAVE A LO TO BE THANKFUL FOR.

(man) I DON'T KNOW

WHY MY HEART:

FEELS THIS WAY:

(curtain rings swoosh)

MM.

WHEN I'M WITH YOU

OH.

RISE AND SHINE.

ALL IS CALM:

AND I FEEL SAFE:

(whispers) COFFEE.

WHEN I'M WITH YOU

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

ASPIRIN?

YEAH.

OKAY.

FADE AWAY:

MMM.

HEY, IF, UM... IF THANKSGIVING

WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY

IS GONNA BE TOO MUCH, WE CAN

JUST LOCK OURSELVES UP HERE

AND WE CAN JUST ORDER A PIZZA

OR SOMETHING, OKAY?

HMM. YOU WISH.

THEY'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME

LIKE I'M A CIRCUS ACT.

NO, THEY WON'T. THEY'RE GONNA

TREAT YOU LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO.

THAT'S MY POINT.

LOOK... (sighs)

I'M SORRY

ABOUT YESTERDAY.

I KINDA FREAKED OUT.

THIS HAS TO BE:

HARD FOR YOU, TOO.

BY MY SIDE:

LOVER, HAVE I

EVER TOLD YOU:

YOU WANNA DO IT?

YOU'RE THE ONE

WHAT? I... (huffs)

THAT'S HOW YOU NORMALLY

APOLOGIZE. I JUST--

I HONESTLY THOUGHT MAYBE

IT MIGHT JOG YOUR MEMORY

A LITTLE BIT, THAT'S ALL.

THIS TIME:

(slap)

OH!

WON'T YOU STAY

GET OUTTA HERE.

(indistinct conversations,

laughter)

(doorbell rings)

IT'S THE BEST.

OH! THEY'RE HERE, EVERYBODY.

(door opens)

(Elaine)

HI! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

(Carter) HEY.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

YEAH.

WELCOME.

COME IN, SWEETIE. HMM.

COME ON.

COME ON, HONEY.

OKAY, FINE.

(sighs)

(whispers) HOW'S SHE DOING?

(speaking indistinctly)

OH, MEL. YOU POOR GIRL.

I'M YOUR AUNT CHRISSY.

REMIND HER SHE OWES US

SOME MONEY.

I HAVE A DOCTOR:

YOU SHOULD MEET.

100% HOLISTIC.

HIS HYPOTONIC THERAPY

IS REVOLUTIONARY.

LOOK AT HER.

SHE'S A NEW PERSON.

HERE. I BROUGHT YOU

SOME CHINESE HERBS TO TRY.

OKAY!

MEL, I COULD REALLY USE

YOUR HELP IN THE KITCHEN.

(indistinct conversations

in distance)

COME ON IN, GUYS!

FOOD'S COMING OUT!

COME ON, YOU ALL.

(singsongy)

GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!

(indistinct conversations)

WHERE SHOULD I PU THE STUFF, MAN?

IS THERE ANY ROOM HERE?

SAVE THIS...

(indistinct conversations)

WE ALSO HAVE WHITE.

WHO WANTS RED?

(woman) COULD HAVE TAKEN

TOO MANY MOVES:

(all cheer)

HOME TO ME:

OKAY. THANKSGIVING IS

A FUNNY SORT OF HOLIDAY,

AND EVERY YEAR,

FAMILIES GET TOGETHER

AND CELEBRATE EVERYTHING

THEY HAVE IN THEIR LIVES...

AND THEN B*TCH AND MOAN

ABOUT IT.

SO...

(laughter)

HERE'S TO BITCHING AND MOANING!

TO BITCHING...

SHE'S TALKING TO YOU.

(clink)

(laughs) I THINK

SHE'S TALKING TO YOU.

ONE MORE THING,

AND MEL DOESN'T KNOW THIS.

WHOOPS.

BUT SWEET MELODY'S WON

THE S.B.B. MERIT AWARD.

(Carter) COME ON!

THEY RECOGNIZE SMALL BUSINESSES

AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP

WITH THE COMMUNITY,

AND MEL HAS BUIL THAT RELATIONSHIP, NOT ME.

SHE HAS MADE SWEET MELODY'S

A GOOD NEIGHBOR:

AND INSPIRED THIS TOWN

TO STAY TRUE TO ITS ROOTS,

SO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, HONEY.

THAT'S AMAZING.

YEAH.

AW.

MM!

YAY! YAY.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO, GUYS.

COME ON, THE FIRST CUT.

FIRST CUT. OH.

YES. OKAY.

HERE WE GO. WE GOT SOME MORE

COMING IN HERE.

(indistinct conversations)

COULD TAKE HIM,

GONE SOMEPLACE:

TAKE HIM,

CUDDLE WITH DRINKS

YES, I DO.

COULD'VE TAKEN FAR TOO LONG

I WISHED IT ALL ALONG

(mouth full)

THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

YOU COULD MAKE IT HOME TO ME

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH

YOU READY?

FOR WHAT?

ICE SKATING.

(chuckles)

I DON'T--

I DON'T DO ICE SKATING.

BUT... WE DO.

REMEMBER?

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH

ACTUALLY, I DO.

THAT'S OUR TRADITION.

B-BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO.

NO, I WANT TO.

OKAY.

(chair scrapes floor)

THANK YOU.

HOME TO ME:

HOME TO ME:

(indistinct conversations

continue)

HEY, WHY DO YOU

HATE YOUR NAME?

"MELODY"?

YEAH.

(chuckles) I DON'T KNOW.

I WANNA BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

"MELODY" IS LIKE...

SILLY FLOWER CHILD.

IT'S LIKE ONE STEP AWAY

FROM "CRYSTAL" WITH A "K."

(laughs) HAVE YOU EVER

LOOKED IT UP?

I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW

WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS?

YES! MELODY.

IT'S A MELODY.

IT'S A MELODY.

A MELODY IS BY DEFINITION,

A SWEET SUCCESSION OF SOUNDS

LIKE SOUND A ROCKING CHAIR MAKES

WHEN YOU'RE HAVING COFFEE

ON THE PORCH...

OR THE SOUND OF YOU

SINGING IN THE KITCHEN

WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW

THAT I CAN HEAR YOU.

(laughs)

THE SOUND OF YOUR SARCASTIC,

SMART MOUTH:

THAT SHOULD ACTUALLY

JUST INFURIATE ME,

BUT REALLY JUST MAKES ME

WANNA KISS YOU EVEN MORE.

DON'T WORRY I GOT YA.

I GOT YA. I'M NOT GONNA

LET YOU FALL.

(chuckles)

(laughter)

(woman) IN YOUR ARMS

I GET LOST AND DRIFT AWAY

THIS FEELS LIKE A DREAM

IT'S NOT THE BAHAMAS,

BUT... IT'S OURS.

IT IS. IT'S OURS.

IT'S REAL, ISN'T IT?

(whispers) YEAH.

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