Hollywood Cavalcade Page #3

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Take it-big!

That's it. Come on.

That's it. Come on.

That's fine.

Now you know what to do.

Go on now. Hit him, Buster. Hit him!

Go- Go on, Buster!

Come on! Hurry up and hit him, Buster!

Hurry up!

Go on! Hit him, Buster!

We're running out of film! Hit him!

Buster, we're running out of film!

Go on and hit him!

[Screams]

Oh, Mike. Mike! Oh, Mike!

- [Laughing]

- Mike, do something!

- [Muttering]

- I'm awfully sorry, Molly.

- I give you my word of honor

it won't happen again.

- Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.

[Screaming Laughter]

Shall we retake it, boss?

- This is awful.

- No. Print it.

Oh!

[Crying]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Laughing]

[High-pitched Laugh]

- I think it's sort of funny.

- Well, sort of.

Sort of funny?

Why, that had you in the aisle.

Well, I said it was funny, didn't I?

Here this little lady works her heart out,

takes pies in the face without batting an eye...

and that's the thanks she gets-

you think it's funny.

Why don't you try getting a pie

in your face sometime, Mr. Stout?

I'm sorry, Miss Adair, if I sounded ungrateful.

It's swell, something new.

Well, don't thank me. Thank him.

It was his idea. You heel.

Swell job, Mike. I'm proud of you.

But I always knew you had it in you.

And if it hits in the box office

like I think it will...

you won't have a thing to worry about.

Not a thing.

And neither will you, little lady.

Come on.

[Loud Laughing]

- The little lady!

- Socko!

If I have to photograph stuff like that,

I gotta have more money.

Ye-

Hiya, pal. Say, I want to get

some pies delivered every day.

- What kind?

- Oh, it don't matter. What's the softest you got?

- Wait a minute. What's this here?

- Custard.

- L-l- Please!

- That looks like pretty good pie.

I think probably that's the angle.

Well, let's see.

Oh, yeah. That's the pie, all right.

Can't miss with that pie.

Tell you what you do.

Send 500 of those over every day...

to the Globe Pictures in Edendale.

- Yes, sir.

- Here.

Gracious me!

Those flies are terrible, aren't they?

See you later, brother.

Five hundred pies?

[Mike] All right now, Molly.

Let me have that pretty smile of yours.

Come on. Smile bigger now.

Come on. Bigger. Bigger!

All right.

Marie, Gloria, come on. Smile, smile.

Mabel, come on! Smile big!

Phyllis, come on, smile!

That's it.

Come on. Keep the smile. Big!

Can't get 'em all in, Mike.

All right. Then move back

for an extreme long shot.

All right, girls. One hour for lunch.

- Set up, fellas.

- [Whooping]

And don't get those bathing suits wet!

[Squealing]

Another cup of coffee, Slim.

- Oh. So there you are.

- Oh. Hello, chief.

Cup of coffee for the boss, Slim.

Do you real-

Do you realize how long

you've been shooting this picture?

Eight days. Eight whole days!

The cost is bigger

than any picture we ever made.

No coffee. $2,600.

And it'll be cheap at twice the price.

- Wait'll you see those girls.

- Bathing beauties!

Who wants to see a lot of girls

sitting on rocks at the seashore?

There's no action in that.

No movement. No falls.

What they want is pies,

the way you did it in the first place.

- Pies!

- Pies are out with me.

Let the other fella make pies.

I was the one that started pies.

Now I've got something that'll make more money

for you than all the pies in the world.

That's for me to decide.

What I want is pies-

No! And anything else is out.

Then that lets me out,

and that means Molly too.

You wouldn't be that crazy.

You'll see how crazy I am.

I'll trot her right over to Vitagraph.

- Vitagraph?

- That's what I said-Vitagraph.

Vitagraph! Vitagraph!

I've heard that threat just once too often!

Why, they never even heard of you

over at Vitagraph.

- No?

- No.

Okay.

Now you get this straight. Fix up what

you're doing tonight, or you're through!

Tonight! Understand?

I s- I said no coffee!

#[Orchestra:
Ballad]

That music has possibilities.

How 'bout dropping by the ship for

a few minutes before we go back to town?

- Sure, if you want to.

- Oh, no, no. Maybe we'd better not.

It's kind of nice

just-just being here alone.

I don't care what Stout

or anybody else thinks.

I still think that bathing beauty idea

is a natural.

Why do magazines

put beautiful girls on their covers?

Why do people pay more money

for front rows at musical shows?

There isn't a person in the world who

doesn't get a kick out of a beautiful figure.

Of course, you've gotta have belly laughs in a

comedy. I know that better than anybody else.

But if I can have belly laughs with beauty,

I can't miss.

Oh, of course you can't.

What does Stout know?

Just because he hasn't got imagination

enough to see beyond his nose...

is no reason

why you should be discouraged.

Oh, I'm not discouraged.

Only this morning when they-

when they turned me down at Vitagraph...

and Path said they heard I was expensive

and hard to get along with...

it sort of took the wind out of me.

There is one thing

I'm worried about though.

Yes?

You.

Why should you turn down $250 a week...

just because I had a fight with the boss

and lost my job?

Because your troubles are my troubles,

Mr. Connors.

And besides, l- I think you're good.

And there's nothing you or anybody else

could do to make me change my mind.

Nothing.

I know, honey, and that's swell of you...

but you can buy a lot of egg sandwiches

with 250 bucks...

and egg sandwiches are very important

when you're hungry.

Let's not talk about it

anymore tonight, huh?

Let's just pretend that-

that you're the greatest director

in the whole business...

and I'm the greatest star...

and we just finished

the greatest picture ever made.

Now here we are

with nothing to think of-

nothing- nothing but ourselves.

Someday that little weasel

will get on his knees and beg me to come back.

So will Vitagraph and Path.

The more I think about it, the more

I know that bathing girl idea is good.

Just wait till it opens in the theaters.

I'll show 'em.

Of course you will, Mike.

Well, come on.

Let's get back to town.

I've gotta send a wire to my friend

Dave Spingold in New York.

- Maybe he can line up something for me there.

- Oh, your-your hat.

I always heard geniuses

were absentminded.

And hungry.

Molly!

Molly!

Come on. Come on out.

- His uncle's dead.

- What?

His- His uncle's dead.

Come on. Come on.

Dave's uncle's dead,

and- and he left him all his dough.

That's not all. Our picture's a smash in New York.

Dave's on his way here with the money.

We're in the picture business, honey!

Our own studio!

Are you happy?

Of course I'm happy.

Gee, do you feel me?

I'm- I'm shakin' like a leaf. [Laughing]

Wait a minute. I've got it!

L- l-I can't lose a minute.

I've gotta line up my own gang-

my own cameraman.

I'll steal him from Stout.

I'll get Pete Tinney tonight.

By tomorrow morning I'll have the best crew

in the business in my vest pocket.

So long, honey. I'll see you tomorrow.

[Kisses]

- [Running Footsteps]

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