Homecoming Page #2

- We can fix this.

- Shelby, you're not listening.

I have a girlfriend.

She's here. She's out there.

Listen, we'll leave.

This was a bad idea. I'm sorry, Shelby.

I shouldn't have come here

to begin with.

Hey, Eddie. What's up?

What? No, no, no. Let's take care

of that when I get back to school.

Eddie? I'm losing you.

Is there anywhere in this town

I can get a decent signal?

- A landline.

- Elizabeth.

- We have to go.

- Really?

Yeah, this was a bad idea.

- Hi, you must be...

- Elizabeth.

- Shelby?

- Yeah. It's nice to meet you.

Wow! Good going, Mikey. She's hot!

I love your place. It's great. I wish we

had something like it back at school.

Thanks. Maybe someday

I'll get to open one up there.

- Yeah.

- Hey, let me get you a drink.

You know what?

We gotta get back to the house.

- Come on, one drink.

- Yeah. One drink. Sounds like fun.

All right. Whatcha drinking?

Whatever you're having, I guess.

Brave girl. Tequila it is then.

Tequila.

Listen, I don't want this to be weird.

So why don't we just say Mike has

really good taste and leave it at that.

Fair enough.

Great. To good taste.

To good taste.

Think they're comparing notes?

...like this big.

- Just got to your dick size.

- I've never, ever seen him do a shot.

Stay out of trouble.

All right.

Are you kidding? I can't do this. Don't!

I... I have

to meet Mike's parents later.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

- What?

- No. Nothing. They're great.

Trust me.

Don't do that. What?

It's not like they're overly judgmental

or anything. It's just...

They have this weird

first impression thing.

So just don't let on that you're

completely trashed, and you'll be fine.

Promise.

Come on. Don't get paranoid.

I didn't mean it like that.

It's just, I was Mike's

girlfriend for three years.

I mean, look at me. I'm no angel.

Yeah, but you were like 12.

I'm sorry. Did I just offend you?

You should have seen

the look on your face.

- Hey. Doing OK?

- Yeah.

I like this girl.

I like you too.

Get out of here.

We're trying to talk about you.

OK, all right.

All right. Here we go.

Good night, guys.

Good night. Good night, guys.

Good night, Shel.

- Thanks for being...

- Nice?

See, I'm not that bad.

There's a reason you fell in love

with me in the first place, right?

Good night, Shelby.

I don't even let Mikey drive sober,

no matter how gorgeous he is.

- You guys are walking, right?

- You know it.

All right.

Let's do it.

You ready? Come on. What's wrong?

- Did you forget something?

- I can't meet your mom like this.

- I am totally...

- She's not gonna care. Come on!

I wanna make a good impression,

you know?

Isn't there a hotel or something

that I can stay at?

That way I can just show up

in the morning.

- This is stupid.

- No, not to me, it's not.

I'd feel so much better

if I got some sleep and sobered up.

- Fine, I'll come with you.

- No, no. You can't.

She's probably waiting up on you.

She's excited to see you.

Guys, I'm professionally trained

to handle situations like this.

I can drop you off at the motel,

get you home safely. Crisis averted.

- Perfect. That's perfect.

- All right.

I'll get the bags.

Look at that.

I didn't even have anything.

All right, you got it?

Hi!

We got no rooms left.

Big game tonight.

- No, but your sign says...

- The sign's broken.

We only sell out

one night a year anyways.

- Homecoming?

- Bingo.

OK...

Well... Where's the next closest motel?

There's a Holiday Inn in Maybury.

- Maybury? Well, how far is that?

- About four miles west.

Four miles?

You gotta be kidding me.

What?

- My son!

- Hey, Ma.

- You didn't have to stay up, you know.

- I couldn't sleep.

- Besides, your father's snoring again.

- Oh, boy.

- Hey, I thought you were gonna bring...

- I was. I mean, I am.

She's... She's coming tomorrow. She's

gonna stay at the Fort Pitt tonight.

Because she's drunk?

Tina Westin's mom called me earlier

tonight and told me she saw you

- at The Alley with a drunk girl.

- She got a little over-served.

She didn't want to make

a bad impression.

- That's silly.

- I tried to tell her that.

- You know how women are.

- It doesn't matter.

I'm just so glad to have you home.

Hey!

...to retire his jersey.

Sh*t!

- Sh*t.

- Hey!

Hey!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Jesus.

Elizabeth.

- Hey!

- Hey.

Hey. What are you doing here?

We're fishing, remember?

- Are you serious?

- You got something better to do?

- How's my number-one son?

- Hi, Dad.

- How'd you sleep?

- Good.

So, Mike, I don't think the Wildcats

are doing so good this year.

- Doug, lay off.

- What? I'm just saying.

Maybe their season wouldn't be such sh*t

if they'd let Mike suit up for a few.

- I doubt it, Dad.

- He can be so modest.

- Whatever.

- When are you picking up Elizabeth?

I don't know.

She's not answering her phone.

Because she's still sleeping.

Come on, we'll go fish,

- we'll pick her up on the way back.

- All right.

Watch your step, man.

You're awake.

What happened?

You don't remember?

Well, I was hoping you could tell me.

As far as I could tell,

you were the victim of a hit-and-run.

What were you doing out there

on the road all by yourself, anyway?

Where the hell was Mike at?

God, he is such an a**hole sometimes.

I mean, he left me

on the side of the road once too.

But at least he had the sense

to come back for me ten minutes later.

I had all this stuff here

for when my mom was sick.

So I took care of you.

God knows what would have happened

to you if I hadn't shown up.

- I want to go now.

- I bet you do, honey.

Unfortunately, for both our sakes,

I can't let you leave.

I mean, I'd just hate to be responsible

if I let you go

and then you collapsed

from internal bleeding

or a blood clot or something.

I had to sedate you

to stop the screaming.

- I need to call Mike.

- Don't worry.

I already called him

and left a message.

I'm sure he'll rush right over

just as soon as he checks it.

That is, if he ever

checks his voicemail.

I mean, you know how awful he is

with the phone.

It's one of the reasons I left him

in the first place.

Don't get me wrong. I adored Mike.

It's just, you gotta grow up

sooner or later, you know?

What are you doing?

- It's just something to help you sleep.

- I don't...

I don't wanna sleep.

Hey, just trust me.

Dude, would you relax with that thing?

She's probably passed out.

She was wasted. Give her a break.

Dude, what am I supposed to do? Let her

spend the weekend in a shitty motel?

Not the entire weekend.

It's a couple of hours.

What, are you, ovulating?

You guys that serious?

Yeah. I guess we are.

She a hurricane in the sack

like Shelby or what?

I mean, there's no complaints there.

But it's not a sex thing, man,

it's like a...

An adult, intimate relationship.

You know?

No, yeah, no, I... I know.

- What?

- I thought I saw a string.

Blow me.

Shelby?

Can you tell me what room

Elizabeth Mitchum is in?

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