Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
- PG
- Year:
- 1989
- 93 min
- 3,473 Views
Good morning, Quark.
I couldn't believe it. Lisa told
Janet that Paul asked Barbara...
to ask me if I had
a date to the dance.
No, they broke up for
religious differences.
She thought she was God
and he disagreed.
Yeah, this afternoon around 5:00.
I'm meeting him at the mall.
I don't know.
Maybe. Yeah.
Oh, I can't. I've got to hang around
a while and keep an eye on Nick.
He likes to take things apart.
Well, that's why I watch it at your
house. Things'll cool off after today.
Dad has his big
show-and-tell at the lab.
Zap!
- It works! L-It really works!
- Nick, get real.
The subject has disappeared.
No, no, it's not that.
No. Mom and Dad had
an argument last night...
and Mom spent the night
at Grandma's.
I think she just needed a rest.
Right, her and me both.
Yeah, okay. Okay. Bye.
Amy, when's Mom coming home?
She's working, Nick.
She'll be home this afternoon.
If only Dad could get
that machine to work.
Breakfast.
"I'll be down in five minutes."
Typing with his gloves on again.
Oh, no, not again!
Who does he think he is,
Mister Wizard?
Szalinski, give it a rest!
It's Saturday!
It's construction, honey. You of
all people should understand that.
Yeah, but I want some sleep.
We've got a four-hour drive ahead of us.
consideration for other people.
Mm, give the guy a break.
I'll give him a break.
I'll break his arm!
Honey!
Szalinski!
But, honey, you are
much bigger than he is.
Szalinski!
- Honey, can't...
- Hold it, Dad.
- Don't move.
- Ron, what are you doing?
- Defending the backyard, Dad.
- That's my fishing rod!
Stop! Dad!
- Am I bleeding?
- Honey, it's rubber.
- Dad, I told you not to move.
- What's on this thing?
- Super Glue.
- Super Glue?
- Gotta mark those trespassers, Dad.
- I'm not a trespasser. I'm your father!
- Let me wash it off quick, hon.
- Ah, it's taking the skin off.
- I'll talk to you later.
- What's with this kid?
- He's 12.
- Attila the Hun was
12 once, too, you know.
- Oh, come on.
He's sounding.
Weird family.
Dad?
Look, I finished mine.
Looks just like yours, huh?
- That's great, Nick.
- You know, Dad, I was calculating.
- If you took all the
molecules in this house...
- Listen, Nick, I gotta get
Why don't you go help your sister?
Stay back, boy.
This thing works...
this'll put us up there with
the invention of electricity...
first man in space.
First dog in space.
Come on! Shrink!
Shrink!
Please, please, shrink.
Please, shrink.
On the other hand, we've come up with an
interesting way of making applesauce.
- You got it, honey.
- Sure?
- Positive.
You're wiping away brain cells,
and there aren't many to spare.
- Everybody in my family's a comedian.
Darn right.
Well, look who's decided to
join the land of the living.
And is Russell ready
for his big fishing trip?
- Not really, Dad.
- Not really?
There's a big fish out there
with your name on it.
Fishing's your thing,
Dad, not mine.
What's the matter with him?
What do you mean, shush?
There... I see nothing wrong
with wanting to take my son fishing.
Russell, I shouldn't be telling
you this, but he was cut from
the football team yesterday.
- What?
- Honey, please. What he doesn't
need right now is to hear from you.
- He needs something.
When I was his age, I was capt...
- Captain of the team.
And if my father'd wanted me to go on
a fishing trip, I would've been gra...
You'd been grateful.
Russ, he is too small for football.
He is not too small for football!
Honey, when you say things like that,
you make him feel about this big.
If he wants to feel big,
he should act big.
Elbows up.
- What's the matter with you?
- I'm on a special diet.
- No toxic waste.
- Fine.
Here, Quark.
Eat it, Dad,
before it gets cold.
Mm, did you get
the machine to work?
Yeah. A few more bugs
to get out, but...
- What about the conference?
- Meow.
Jeez, the conference.
I gotta get going.
Dad! Dad, wait. Dad!
If Mom calls, tell her
I'll be home by lunchtime.
Dad, don't forget my dress from
the cleaners, Nick's allergy pills...
It's all in my head.
Don't worry.
Wish me luck. I need luck
getting out of this door.
- House of insanity.
- Hi, honey.
Hi, Mom. Nick, go get Dad.
He's just leaving
for the conference.
Dad, it's Mom.
- Where?
- On the phone.
- Oh.
- How did everything go this morning?
- Boy, did we miss you.
- I missed you, too, honey.
- Did Paul Tate ask you to the dance?
I'm gonna meet him at
the mall later today.
- Here's Dad.
- Thanks.
- Hiya.
- Hi.
- Nick!
- I called to wish you luck
at the conference.
- Look, Diane, if things go well...
this morning, everything'll change
around here, I promise you.
Okay. I have
a house to show...
and then I'll be home this
afternoon and we'll talk.
- Good luck today.
- Thanks. Bye, honey.
- What time is Mom coming home?
- Later. Listen, we gotta make
this place spick-and-span, okay?
Nick, I want you to
mow the lawn. Amy...
good luck.
I'm helping my Dad with this
real important new invention.
So, mm...
I'll... I'll let you
mow half my yard.
No, thanks.
Wow! With that?
Yeah...
and...
this.
Oh, it's a remote control!
Tell you what. You thrown in
a box of cookies...
I'll let you cut the whole thing.
Uh, but I have to go
and meet Newt right now.
Uh, could I do it later?
- I don't think so, because, you know,
my Dad's gonna come home and...
- Aw, come on.
- Okay. But don't be too late.
- Okay, thanks.
- No problem.
- See you later!
Nothin' like a hard day's work.
French fries.
Tater Sticks.
Meat loaf.
Veal "parmedjian."
Hey, Dad, wanna go
play some baseball?
Hmm, baseball.
No. I gotta load the camper, Ron.
I'm busy.
Hey, Russ, pitch for me.
Hey, Szalinski, ever do anything normal,
like play baseball?
Nope.
- Baseball's for mortals.
- Maybe you could be the base.
- Maybe you could be the mound.
- Ronald!
Lug your stuff.
Later, worm.
Russell, gimme a hand here.
Russell! Gimme a hand here.
Dad, it's early.
The early worm catches
the fish, Russell.
Remember that.
The Forresters are coming by after
lunch, so come on! Quick march!
Something here between us
is something that I can't resist
Aphysical attraction
Feel it every time we kiss
Weird family.
Oh, you got me so excited
Still it's not enough
till I know if this is love
Turn it up
- Yeah!
- Turn it up, ooh hoo
I love to hear
Russell...
I know it seems strange
when you look at me today...
but when I was your age,
I was not much bigger than you.
- I know, Dad. You've told me
about a million times.
- All right. Just hear me out.
The point is,
Coach put me on these babies.
Know what happened? I put on 20 pounds
of pure, unadulterated...
blitz-the-quarterback
and rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell.
Now, I'll make you a little bet.
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"Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/honey,_i_shrunk_the_kids_10124>.
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