Honkytonk Man Page #2

or something.

Uncle Red was playing in honkytonks

by the time he was my age.

I'll have some chickens for you

in the morning.

Well, look here! What's this, Red?

Got yourself a helper?

This is my nephew, Whit.

This is Lulu, she owns the joint.

Nephew! Ain't he something, now?

Sure is cute, ain't he?

And he gets it all from me.

Well, you should have kept some

for yourself.

I like them young, and that's a fact,

but not that young.

How about if I give you a nickel,

and you call me up in a couple of years?

- What do you think about that, Hoss?

- Here you are, hon.

You can spend it now if you want...

but you gotta remember to call me

in a couple of years.

Go ahead, take it.

- Thank you, ma'am.

- You're welcome.

Sing good, Red.

I'll try.

A Nehi orange, please?

Thank you.

I'm Red Stovall and I'm here

to do a few songs for you...

and pass the hat.

So you got any requests...

just sound them out.

Let's go, Hoss.

Sure you gotta go, Red?

I've got a room out back.

The boy could sleep in the car,

couldn't he?

I've got some more business to do tonight.

But I'll be back tomorrow night.

Come on, Hoss.

Let's get the show on the road.

Keep it warm for me.

- You got the board?

- Yeah, I got it.

What's the matter with you? You're

shaking like a dog shitting peach pits.

- If Mama knew what we was doing...

- She won't...

unless you tell her.

She might have to come

and identify our bodies...

- once those chickens start squawking.

- There won't be any squawking.

- The sacks are getting full.

- How many we got?

Maybe 40 or 50. Enough.

Let's get outta here...

- while the getting's good.

- I'll get one more.

Let's get outta here!

What's going on out there?

Stop, thief, or I'll blow your ass off!

Damn, Hoss, we made it.

For a moment, I thought those dogs were

gonna make hamburger out of my ass.

Here, have a drink. You deserve it.

Strong, ain't it?

Eyes are bigger than my stomach.

I'll meet you back at the car.

Where are you going?

Get myself some new duds.

Here's $5. That seem about right

for your share?

For me? Five whole dollars?

Don't spend it all in one place.

Got a call last night about a car

like the one here.

Man over in Roscoe

said somebody in a late-model limousine...

stole some of his chickens.

Of course, I didn't believe him.

But then...

me and Jim Bob here

was driving down the street...

and I said to Jim Bob, I says,

"God durn, Jim Bob...

"look at that big old car there.

"I'll just bet that that's the feller...

"who stole them chickens

over in Roscoe last night."

Ain't that what I said, Jim Bob?

That's it, Snuffy.

That's what you said, all right.

Looky here.

That a chicken feather, or ain't it?

Looks like a chicken feather to me, Snuff.

And that stuff on the seat, Jim Bob...

what do you reckon that stuff is?

Looks like chicken sh*t to me, Snuffy.

- You think so?

- I'd swear to it.

I seen enough chicken sh*t in my life

to know...

when I see it.

When was the last time

you saw chicken sh*t, Jim Bob?

- When you were shaving this morning?

- Jim Bob!

Smart ass, ain't you?

Jim Bob, what do you reckon we'd find...

if you was to reach in under that seat

and feel around a little?

My, what have we got here?

Bootleg whiskey.

We're gonna have to take you down

to the courthouse...

to see if you can explain how all

this stuff come to be in your car.

It ain't my car.

You hear that, Jim Bob?

He says it ain't his car.

He was just sitting here,

waiting for the owner to come back.

That's right.

Frisk him and cuff him.

Put your hands up there.

Spread your legs.

No keys.

This give you a thrill, Jim Bob?

Groping a man's crotch like that?

Put it away.

Put the cuffs on him.

We'll come back for the car later.

Somebody might drive it away.

The owner?

He might get surprised...

if he finds somebody here waiting for him.

Uncle Red! Get ready.

Hurry, Uncle Red! Hurry!

Come on, get outta here, Hoss!

God damn!

You did it, Hoss!

Damned if you didn't do it.

Should I stop?

Damn!

Where in the double-damn tarnation

have you two been?

We had a little car trouble in Tallapoosa.

Had to stay over.

We've been worried to death!

Why didn't you...

Bubba! Are you all right?

Just a little chill.

A cup of your hot java will fix me up.

What you need is a long rest in bed.

I'm gonna see that you get it.

I've gotta head out for Nashville

in the morning.

So soon? Why?

If you're serious about going,

Mr. Wagoner...

that $30 of yours will get us to Tulsa.

And there's a fellow there

who owes me some money.

I think that'll get us the rest of the way.

I'll be ready to go in the morning.

Just one other thing, sis.

I'd appreciate you considering

us taking Hoss along.

I need a driver, and he's a real good one.

One of the best I've seen.

Real safe and everything.

It ain't just that.

I think the boy's got talent.

I could teach him to play a little guitar.

Maybe he'd be a singer someday.

Maybe a good singer.

What do you think, Hoss?

You'd like to go to Nashville with me?

Bubba, he's too young

for anything like that.

- Please! Please let me go with him!

- You hush up.

Well, it's entirely up to you all.

If we get out to California

in time for picking cotton...

we're gonna need every hand we can get.

Papa, please let me go with him!

You heard him. He said I had talent.

- I could be a musician...

- I told you to hush up!

Papa, I don't want to be

a damned cotton picker all my life!

So Mr. Big Britches don't want to be

a damned cotton picker all his life!

If your mama and I hadn't been

picking cotton all them years...

working our fingers to the bone for you...

where the hell would you be today,

Mr. Big Britches?

Papa, it ain't like that.

I just want a chance to be somebody.

You go to bed this minute! Right now!

- But he said...

- Go to bed!

We'll talk about it in the morning.

But if I hear one more word out of you...

just one more, then you won't go at all.

And that's final.

Please, Mama. Let me go with him.

I don't want you to.

But...

I don't want him to go alone.

You know he's very sick, don't you?

He shouldn't be going anywhere

by himself, unless it was to a sanitarium.

There probably wouldn't be anybody

to call a doctor for him if he...

- I could take care of him.

- Can you?

I know it's a lot to

ask of a boy your age...

but it seems like

you're the best friend he's got.

But do you have any idea

what it'll be like if he...

All right, then.

But only if you promise me two things:

That you won't drink,

and that you'll come home...

soon as we get settled

out in California. Promise?

- Cross my heart and hope to die.

- And try to bring Bubba back with you?

Yes ma'am, I sure will.

Be sure and write to us once in a while

at Bud and Dora's...

and let us know

how you and him are doing.

- I promise.

- All right, then.

You bring the wood in.

Breakfast will be ready in a minute...

then I'll help you pack your things.

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