Hoodlum Page #2

because of your tax evasion charges.

He'd rather lose a testicle

than give a dollar up to the government.

- So what do you propose?

- I propose you take it easy,

think about your future, not our demise.

In the meantime,

enjoy the scenery, have a long

drink with one of the girls.

- All right, listen to me very carefully.

I don't want to have to say this again.

I am not your friend.

I don't want the services of your whores.

We are in a business arrangement,

for obvious mutual benefits.

Mr. Schultz threatens this arrangement.

Have I made myself clear?

- Crystal.

It's clear you took the money.

- Cousin, I ain't seen this many

poor folks in Harlem in all my life.

- Well, cousin, welcome to the depression.

The only way a cat can make a dime

these days is running numbers.

You ain't got no glue on

your fingers, now do you?

All right, hey, Toots, I see you.

You can't keep ducking me.

All right.

- My boy is back.

- Whispers, you ain't never had no loot

but you still my favorite boot.

- Oh, it's real good to see you, Bump.

You're late, Illinois.

- Surprise!

- Did somebody say something

about scrooging somebody?

- I can't believe it.

- This is the new guy, Vallie.

- Mr. Johnson.

- Nice to meet you.

- Come on, come on,

Madame Queen is waiting,

been waiting.

There she is.

- Hello, Madame Queen.

- Bumpy Johnson.

You still have the light in your eyes.

Praise God.

- Before we get this,

uh, this soire started,

I need to speak with you for a few ticks.

- All right.

Y'all enjoy yourself here.

- Illinois said that Dutch

Schultz put six of your men

on the slab at Harlem Hospital.

- Oui.

The Mr. Schultz is trying

to make trouble for me,

but I set up a meeting with him next week,

and it is then I will

make my position clear.

- I want to go with you to that meeting

as your bodyguard.

- You think you're going to

protect her, lamb's breath?

That for me job, me take care of Queen.

- I have faith in Tee.

- I know Tee-Ninchy got spine,

but faith ain't gonna

get rid of the Dutchman.

I saw what his boys did to Willie Brunden.

I'm not going to stand by and do nothing,

and let something like that happen to you.

The man is threatening

to take over business

that's taken you 10 years to build up.

I want everybody to know

the Queen's still carrying power uptown.

Please.

- I still can't say no to you, eh?

- I had a dream last

night, a big old crawfish

jumped off a plate and bit me.

- Yeah?

- What Madame Zora

dream book say for fish?

- 579, but I wouldn't bother with no 579,

because that stock exchange

thing that they use

for the numbers was at 579 last week,

it ain't going to be 579 again.

- There was some sweet

potato pie on the plate, too.

- Uh huh, potatoes is under potatoes.

Oh, good, here it is, 6-4-2.

Ha, 6-4-2, uh-uh,

I ain't going to play no

6-4-2, it gives me gas.

I tell you this again,

I ain't playing no

number that give me gas.

- Woman, I bet your gas smell

as sweet as flowers in the springtime.

- Don't you be trying to

get in my good graces.

You done had your chance.

- Hey, Ms. Mary.

- Shut up.

Damn, woman, you hard as lard.

- You know what?

I hate crawfish.

I'm just going to head on

and play a dime on 6-4-2 straight.

- That's another dime down the drain.

- Oh, Lord have mercy,

garvey-eyed Francine.

- This is for you and the kids.

Save your money, Sul.

- Hey, hey, hey, watch yourself now.

You don't need to be telling her that.

Why don't you stay out

of grown folk business

before I beat you till

you smell like onions?

- And I'll drag you by

that mile-wide collar

and drop you in the gutter.

- Yeah, yeah, let me see that.

Now, look at this.

What you doing peddling this

gold can jibe to begin with?

You can bake it, boil it, fry it,

fricassee it, hang it out to dry,

it's still just as funky

as a fat man's drawers.

Here, take this.

- Don't you see people hungry, huh?

What do you do for people, numbers man?

- Francine, I have told you several times,

I'm the poor man's race track.

- You take the money out of pockets

and you put food on the table.

A million-to-one odds, it's a scam.

It's gambling, that's what it is.

- Excuse me.

I believe the numbers provide jobs

for over 2,000 colored folks

right here in Harlem alone.

A penny gets you six dollars, that's what,

a month worth of groceries?

- That's right, a month

worth of people food,

not this bullshit here.

- It's the only homegrown business we got.

- Are you his partner?

- Don't worry about it.

- Y'all make a better

team than Amos and Andy.

- I don't need no partner.

My name is Bumpy Johnson.

- Bumpy?

Your mama named you Bumpy?

- That's all right, what you gonna do

with all that pretty

ham in hot-ass African,

you ain't got no straightening

curls over there, ugly.

Damn, she fine as frog eggs.

- Okay, cousin, tell me

about Miss Francine Hughes.

- Oh, Francine.

She's always quoting Marcus Garvey

about moving back to hot-ass Africa.

I think she works down

at that United Negro

something-or-other.

- Improvement Association?

- That's it.

- Man, she sure is high tolling,

you see the glimmers on that girl?

Where do you think she

got them eyes, cousin?

- Francine Hughes is not going to take up

with the likes of you.

She high-powered and

she got a boot's lace.

Don't even pay that no nevermind.

- All I want to do is converse with her.

- Mm-hm, yeah, I bet you want

to have a long-ass conversation.

Son, the man that walks with Francine

will walk down the Christian path.

Oh, hey, damn!

All these roaches in here.

I've been stepping on corn flakes.

- Well, at least you

won't be sleeping alone.

- Hey, Bumpy, you know,

these last couple of

years, here, with you gone,

I just want to say, I really

missed you, that's all.

- I missed you, too.

- Got you a little present.

Now, it's not new.

Got it from old Clarence up on Saint Nick.

- Hello, there, Mr. Speaker.

- Yeah, figured you might need that

to open a few doors for yourself.

- Yeah.

That's hard-hitting, thanks, cousin.

- Together, we got strength,

we got experience.

Most of all, though, we got organization.

A partnership's going

to increase the profits.

- There will be no profits

with your boys collecting the money.

- What do I got, I got f***ing horns

growing out of my head here?

I don't feel nothing.

Man, I'm stiffy, I'm not

the f***ing devil here.

- But you do the devil's work.

Six of my men is proof of that.

- Yeah, but if I hadn't

sent you an invitation,

you wouldn't have met me, would you?

No, Queen.

From what I hear, you ain't

exactly a f***ing nun yourself.

- Mr. Schultz, we're not here to talk

about your right to own your own bank,

but I ask to respect my right to my own.

Comprenez-vous?

- Oh, yeah, f***ing vous.

- Vous?

- Now, that reminds me, this thing

which that spic, Henry Miro, said.

He said he had the

balls to stand up to me.

Les balls mes grandes,

that's what he f***ing said.

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